Need a Man to make you happy?

I've been divorced for many years. Most of the men I meet aged 70+ ( not all, of course, but the vast majority) I wouldn't want even if they came gift-wrapped. I think, of many, " the wife deserves a medal". RosiesMaw expresses it well.

Depends on you and the man!

RosiesMaw

I lost my husband 6 years ago and would say quite honestly that I have no problem being without A man, but am less than whole without THAT man.
Does this answer your question?

What a lovely way to put it.

I've been alone for many years now but still need that man. Sad but lovely for me.

That's kind of you, Carmen. I don't think any man would want me now, but we never know what's around the corner , do we.

nanna8

I’ve been married for 56 years and I have known my husband since I was 15 so I find it hard to imagine life without him. We grew up together. Some people need a man around and I think I am one of them. I have always preferred male company though I have quite a few female friends.

I have also been with my husband since I was 16 , we have been married 45 years and I love him dearly and have looked after him for the last 6 years, due to ill health, but I wouldn't want to be tied to another man should anything happen to him . I really don't think you need a man in later life but you do need friends and a social life, whether those friends are make and female is up to you.

Having had two difficult and not wonderful marriages I know I don’t NEED a man in my life, and I am more than content without if it works well, it’s wonderful if it doesn’t then it can be just as good without ……but no one can expect a man or a woman to make them happy or complete, you have to make yourself that, then you are ready to enjoy the togetherness
So no, no one NEEDS a man although it’s obviously nice if you are lucky enough to find the right one

Some people are happier being part of a couple but I don't think you should rely on another person for your happiness.

I wouldn't like to be without MY man.

Maw put it brilliantly.

Some can't live without a man, some can. Personal choice. I certainly wouldn't depend on a man to make me happy, I'm too independent but thats me.
😃

I was married for 26 years but was widowed at 59. I've been on my own now for 7 years. If I could have my husband back I would in a heart beat but I look around at the men in my age bracket (60 to 70 I guess) and I really couldn't be bothered. Men tend to get grumpier and more set in their ways than women as they age. I also don't want to be a carer for someone whom I've only known for a few years thanks very much.

Yes- they do deteriorate with age, these men. Moth eaten as my Mum would say! I know we do, too but the men just let it rip whereas most women seem to try a bit more. Just an observation from all the Probus males I meet.

Despite being married for many years I would say I don’t rely on my husband to make me happy at all and I definitely wouldn’t need a man in my life were I single.
I learned many years ago that I am responsible for my happiness (or not!)

At 20 my daughter decided that neither marriage nor motherhood were for her. She is a very direct and uncompromising person who needs a lot of down time. I suspect like most of the family she is neurally diverse, but the problem is less obvious than the dyspraxia and ADHD that afflicts the rest of us. She is now 50, has her own house, lots of friends, but can always retreat to her own home and be by herself.

I often think when people say they need a man in their life, that is because they are talking within conventional limits and what they are really saying is that they are gregarious and do not like living alone, so the thing to do is to look for ways of finding someone to live with you, a lodger, or a student, or a friend, male or female.

I confess that, despite having been happily married for over 50 years, I am very like my daughter. DH's work took him away from home a lot and it wasn't until he retired I realised how necessary to me were those absences. I still find never having much time on my own difficult to cope with.

So I would say, that having someone in their life to share life with is necessary for some people, optional for others, and to a smaller group, the last thing they want. Whether that person is the same sex, opposite sex, and whether it needs to include sexual relations is entirely optional.

I also very interesting that I think different personality types find it quite difficult to understand each other. I am married but absolutely need my own space and time on my own. I need silence particularly in the mornings

I’ve been alone for 5yrs since my lovely husband died. A hard couple of years but I’ve never had any intention of replacing him. I’m very happy with my own space now, I miss a chat in the evening but I have a lovely family who I see as and when I choose.
If you’re alone you can certainly be happy without a man in your life.

Been alone since my divorce a few years ago. Hard at first, but quite content now with my lovely AC and GC. I don’t live in their pockets but see them, when they can fit me into their busy lives. Fine by me .

I’ve been on my own for two years and like tanith I’m happy with my own space. I still find myself commenting out loud at something I see on the telly as though DH is sitting beside me but that no longer upsets me. It’s just the result of having had a long and companionable marriage.

I do find myself viewing new male acquaintances in a critical light. I make personal judgments which may be completely unfair but as soon as I start thinking, he’s needy/chauvanistic/boring/attention seeking etc., I realise the last thing I need is a man in my life.

And in their defence, I’d probably be a nightmare to live with. 😂

RosiesMaw

I lost my husband 6 years ago and would say quite honestly that I have no problem being without A man, but am less than whole without THAT man.
Does this answer your question?

My husband died in October 2022, six months after a devastating diagnosis. We were blessed with 42 years together. I’m less raw and traumatised as this second Christmas without him arrives.
I miss him and can’t imagine a time when his absence won’t walk with me. I count my blessings and have no desire to have a man. I’m thankful to have family and friends. I’ve pushed myself to go to gatherings, theatre, outings with friends. I’m thankful I did this as my life as a widow/single woman becomes real.

I just can't imagine being without him- we are totally Yin and Yang, and it works so well. Been together for 53 years.

But no, I don't thin a woman needs a man to be happy, or children.

After being married for 20 years to a wife beater, 11 years to a lazy nutcase and now 15 years - I have come to the conclusion (too late) that I am not marriage material!

My DH makes me happy. If anything happened to him, I wouldn’t need a man to make me happy again.

Purple pixie, it sounds like it’s the men who aren’t marriage material. Sadly, there are a lot ofbthem

I am a man, that’s for sure and 62 but quite old fashioned. I do the things that are frowned upon today like opening doors for ladies and walking near the kerb but I won’t change. Some people quite rightly are happy on their own and some not but a woman needs to be treated properly with dignity, affection and tenderness and that’s what I try to achieve.

No. I have been happily single by choice for almost 12 years now. I much prefer the single life at my age .I can spend the time and money necessary to stay active healthy and well instead of looking after others.