When a couple separates, do you keep friends with both?

I found that I kept my friends he kept his, it wasn't a problem to me.

It’s a hard line to tread grammaretto. Our son discovered that most people found it impossible when he and his wife separated. It remains a great sadness that people he thought were his friends turned their backs on him.

In a similar situation, many years ago now, the woman I thought had been a good and close friend for a number of years simply disappeared. Just didn’t respond to contact. Her husband, who we knew less well, came to tell us and brought their children, in hindsight to say goodbye. We’d known them from babies. The family had lived in a different part of the country so no accusations of taking sides, not that we would have taken notice, I mourned the loss of them all.

Thinking about your current situation do you have to align yourself with one or the other now? It would be sad to lose a friend you value. I wonder if it would be possible to support them both. I guess it depends on how you feel about doing it, definitely not easy, also how each of them feel about you having contact with the other. Its hard for sure and I can certainly understand why many people simply focus on one of the former partners.

Don’t forget to look after yourself through this process. As far as friendships go in my view it’s like dropping a very large boulder into a pond. The ripples are felt at more depth and distance than the separating couple realise.

A wise reply Corner
I'm glad you had no problems Allsorts

I don't think I will be close to either of them but just be here incase needed!
It is terribly sad

We did manage this with two sets of friends but to varying degrees. It gets harder when they meet new partners. DP worked with the wife of one couple and she moved in with a man they both worked with. In the other case, I had known the husband since I was a little girl but did also stay in touch with his wife.

With my ex and work I had a very wide circle of friends, when I left him I expected to loose many, then after 6 months I paired up with my now husband who is in the same social circle.
Some are guarded towards me, most just accept it as if nothing happened, in addition I gained my husbands family and because he is a widower I also gained his in-laws, niece's and nephews, so it does get hectic at times.

We lost touch with one friend when she separated from her partner after many years together.
We did know her first but now only keep in touch with her partner.

I think when people take up with someone new they sometimes change a lot... the things you used to have in common dissappear or fade.
It's definitely a sadness as we loved them both.