My husbands dependency on me is making me feel like I’m drowning

Is there a “Mans Shed “ in your area ? If he could join in there it would be a help to you

People here will probably advise you to join some hobby and/or interest groups as making friends in the immediate area may not be so easy. Since covid many people now keep to themselves and their immediate family so I would not rely on the likes of neighbours. At least if you join some interest group you will meet people who are willing to socialise outside the home.

At present you are ennabling your DH lack of action and appathy by doing everything for him. What would he do if you had to go into hospital or away for some reason? He would have to cope. I think you need to have this "talk" with him.

Somehow, I think there’s more back story to this, but at face value, it sounds as if a lot of life changing things have happened in the past couple of years. He’s retired, moved house and can no longer drive, the latter begs the question ‘is he ill’? Is this situation actually new? Surely he used to have a mobile phone and bank card when he worked, so why the new refusal? Was it a joint decision to move, or were you more for it than him? Is he content to have things as they are? Is the ‘problem’ actually yours?
However, unless you want to leave, and he isn’t ill, I think you’re going to have to make the best of a bad job. Go out, make new friends, enjoy yourself but perhaps try and persuade him to join you somewhere for coffee and cake, or a walk with a drink at the end?
I think you might be a new poster, so welcome. Read the Good Morning thread and see how some of us fill our retirement. I hope you get some good suggestions here.

Thank you for your response . He’s severely dsylexic so I’ve always been the organiser & over the years it was easier to just get on and do it but since there’s just the two of us I’m finding it more difficult . He does help in the house , diy and Garden & never objects when I need to go out but making new friends is harder than I expected & im feeling lonely and isolated now

It sounds more like you are controlled and he depends on you a situation you have been put in. Is he ill or just lazy whatever it is you could reverse the situation or at least relieve yourself of some responsibility.

Take yourself out to shop visit friends or anywhere but take twice as long as you usually would. Don’t keep to a timetable or explain where you are going just do things at times to suit you not him. If you do go out leave a sandwich or a meal out for him so you don’t have to rush back.

You need your own space it’s time for you to be vocal something you obviously have not been recently.