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Valentines Day sadness

(4 Posts)
GrannyIvy Wed 14-Feb-24 13:55:08

I’ve been married nearly 47 years and my DH and I have been retired nearly four years. First there was covid to rock our retirement then a lot of family stress which is ongoing with DD2 divorce problems which is never ending. We now bicker constantly and no longer seem to get on and both ignoring Valentine’s Day as our relationship is struggling. Just feel sad that now we have time to be together there is no love or affection. I just wanted some acknowledgment that it was Valentine’s Day. Should it be me that always makes the effort?

Mollygo Wed 14-Feb-24 14:07:12

Sorry things aren’t going well for you GrannyIvy especially as retirement could have been a time for doing things together.
Re it being you that always makes the effort.
sadly in different groups where I meet people, that complaint seems to be quite frequent, whether it’s “we’d never go anywhere/ do anything if I didn’t do all the organisation” or “I always have to remind him/her.”
I don’t know the answer.

GrannyIvy Wed 14-Feb-24 14:48:39

Thank you. I just said I’m cooking us a special meal for Valentine’s Day and DH said oh is it Valentines day that’s nice and gave me a hug!! Maybe I hust expected too much😂😂 Onwards and upwards I have a lot to be thankful for❤️

swampy1961 Wed 14-Feb-24 14:59:28

Depends on how much Valentine's Day means to you. DH and I have in the past exchanged cards and the odd gift but now agree that we don't need just one special day to show our love.
We love each other regardless of the day and tell each other so. This year we just exchanged a kiss and a verbal Happy Valentine's Day!!
But if you feel that you are bickering constantly then you both need to get out - together and individually - with friends/family and without.
Retirement is a whole new ball game and you have to work out a way to live and enjoy it when work is no longer in the day - you have to find alternative activities.
Don't get pulled into any family issues regarding DD2's divorce, she must sort it herself and you and DH need to step away and avoid the stress.