What is your opinion on dating a man who is 14 years older? I am 34 and he’s 48 with 4 children (age 16~25, 2 from his 1st marriage and 2 from his 2nd one). I am divorced with no kids.

Never trust a serial cheater.. and also don't become a mistress again..

Move on, date someone else.

Controllers make out you are to blame for their faults. It’s your fault if he strays because you were not supportive enough. Do you really believe that?! Women then put up with abuse because the controller can be nice. Don’t fall for it. Run. You deserve better. Also on a practical note whose money will you be living on as he will be paying for his divorce settlement and the kids x 2.

The blame shifting really is one of the biggest red flags to me. It takes two to tango for a marriage failure but infidelity itself has no excuse whatsoever.
He is trying to not pay her ex alimony as he believes that she’s already taken half of their assets..It’s getting way too heavy for me now seeing him trying his best to hide his assets and telling me that he’s doing this to protect OUR future ..
I think I already am ready to move on. Good times are great but they’re not enough for me to bet my life on someone who I deep down does not trust.

Daisy25

I'd definitely walk away....you've already said you've spotted the red flags, too much baggage. If I was you I'd make myself really really busy and call it off. You are young enough to find much better. He has already lied to you and believe you me liars don't change they just get worse. It's about showing respect for you. He doesn't sound like someone who has a lot of respect for women. Good luck.

Honestly, you don’t need to ask, you are on a hiding to nothing here with that much baggage life will be hell its just not worth it.
There may be mitigating factors, is he a millionaire and can be a good prospect for a settlement if it doesn’t work.

Why are you asking this question on Gransnet, surely it would be better asked on a site where qualified and suitably experienced psychologists and councillors give relationship advice.

Well done Elsa get out now before any damage is done

You won’t regret this Elsa, you know this is the right decision. you deserve better.

He's a serial cheater. Save yourself a lot of unhappiness and let go now.
That's my opinion,but it's your life.
Good luck.

Run!

I didn't know what red flags were when I met my last partner- but they were waving away and I ignored them. I was shocked to find out he's been married three times before and had three children to two mums. He seemed to arrive in my life at the right time though and I thought we could make a go of it. He said everyone's entitled to make one mistake'- but he's clearly made three. We did well, it lasted eight years. I left him and only a few weeks later was dating someone. He just couldn't break the habit of a life time...

You know the answer without asking us.

He's a serial adulterer.
LTB

As many posters told you on MN, it’s not the age gap, it’s the other red flags.

Turn this around and imagine that you are reading your post and being asked for advice. What would be your advice? My thought upon reading your post was 'What is she thinking?'

So has this poster been on mumsnet and now come to try a new audience ? 🙃
With you GSM

Don't devalue yourself any more.
Be strong and stop this.
You are strong enough to let him go - and I know you can see disaster in your future if you stay with him.

He is not a nice or homest person if he is hiding money from the mother of his children... let alone that he tricked you into a relationship in the first place by telling you he was separated.
On a selfish note, that mother could be you in a couple of years.

I think that we Grans are all of the same opinion - ditch him and find someone worthy of you before you become another notch on the bedpost .
Don't let him him sweet talk you out of it .

He sounds just like the creeps , that I used to meet Internet dating .
Every failed relationship was the previous woman's fault . They left a trail of broken hearts and abandoned children in their constant pursuit of happiness .
I found their lies breathtaking .
One of them told me that he had six Baftas .I believed him until he told me that he was instrumental in making a well known long running TV series . By chance , I happened to know a great deal about the filming location .
I found out that he'd made some pornograhic films . He came across as an angry , highly abusive , foul mouthed liar .

All of them , became very nasty overnight as I became another woman , who disappointed them .

Take a deep breath .
Good luck .

Run, and when you get there, run away some more

MaizieD

Cossy

Also think this post is probably more suited to Mumsnet than here, but for what’s it’s worth I’d run for the hills!

I think the mumsnet response would be *LTB.

This man is really bad news.

*(Leave The Bastard)

It was posted on Mumsnet and the response was LTB.

Don’t wait any longer, make a break for it now. Best wishes

flappergirl

MaizieD

Cossy

Also think this post is probably more suited to Mumsnet than here, but for what’s it’s worth I’d run for the hills!

I think the mumsnet response would be *LTB.

This man is really bad news.

*(Leave The Bastard)

It was posted on Mumsnet and the response was LTB.

So why post on here does poster think we ll give different answers 🙄
Or some attention if it’s died a death on the other forum

Thanks to all of you again for your comments. I also posted Mumsnet as I was hoping to get many thoughts as possible for me to think through.. honestly speaking, I already know the answer and I’m going to really stick with it this time.
I really appreciate all of your contribution. It is my decision end of the day but your help does count and mean a lot.
I wish all of you well and happy in life.

And you too ElsaM. Remember as one door closes another opens.

You've answered your own question - get out now.
You are young, baggage free, plenty more nicer fish in the sea.
Good luck

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