After marriage, life with spouse is different than promised

No, life is a wholse series of disappointments- marriage being the first one.

Crikey. That was to the point keeping quiet.

You're not the only one, Zuzu. Life is like a poker game. It ain't fair but you can only play the hand you're dealt.

Or leave the game.

No I don't think you are alone in thinking that way Zuzu.

The number of curved balls being thrown at many of us far outweigh the straight ones.

You are most certainly not alone with your thoughts. You have been dealt a bad deck of cards over time. You have been challenged but you have overcome them.
You should be proud of yourself you have strength of character.

All through life we have to make choices and it's natural to wonder what would have happened if we had chosen differently.
It seems you feel you have missed out on something. Your husband's poor health means you are obliged to stay with him. However, if there is something you would like to do (such as climbing a mountain), there's no reason why you can't go off on your own so long as he is cared for.

Your first marriage wasn't great and you thought you'd found the happiness you deserve with a good man. So yes it seems cruel that life has thrown this at you and I can understand why you're feeling upset. Being a carer is unbelievably hard too and I don't think there is enough support for carers.

Does it help to consider how your second husband is feeling? His health sounds very poor and I’m sure he would prefer exotic holidays too rather than having had his business ruined and his health gone.
It’s not the fault of your second husband that your first husband was a bad choice for you.
You write that you love your husband so maybe you need to tell him that. Then how about some respite care so you can have a rest or is that unavailable where you live?

not a pity party either but I have been married 3 times and each I've wished I hadn't bothered; from DV to debts I have hated every moment. it led to mental health long-standing issues and even me running away leaving my kids long story, I live with someone now and sometimes wish I had stayed single. i am too old to leave now and start again but what with dv and other problems I often wish I was single maybe in the next life

Life is a lottery we follow our hearts and for better or worse we choose our life path.

Zuzu has been unfortunate how things have worked out, however, her post would be very different if she had become ill and husband was caring for her. I have many older friends caring for partners that have serious health issues, whether it’s typical or not most of the carers are the husband.

Most of the problems are female cancers followed by auto immune problems, we count ourselves very lucky that neither of us have health issues

No, I don't think you are the only one who feels that way. Things could always be worse than what they are. I sometimes forget to remember that.

I've often thought that life seems to be a series of challenges.
Everyone seems to have problems of one sort or another.
My own life has been far from easy.
You've certainly had more than your share, Zuzu. It seems so unfair that you now have this huge challenge.
We can only keep going and hope things get better.
Good wishes to you.

No, you are not alone Zuzu. I feel, increasingly, that life is just one long series of challenges. I sympathise wholeheartedly with you and send you many good wishes.

Zuzu, my second husband died 5 months ago and I miss him greatly. But I have to say that that the last few years of his life were difficult. I loved him but felt restricted and now I feel guilty for feeling that way. My first husband was "difficult" to put it mildly, and when I met my second husband, it was like a breath of fresh air - and for fifteen years it was! Life in those last couple of years was tricky - no - You are definitely NOT the only person to feel like this. My best wishes to you.