leaving son to be near the other

red1
What a horrible situation to be in ! You must do what is best for you. You have been near one son up until now. So why not do a swap and move to Ireland, a place you’ve always liked, and visit your Manchester son regularly. I am lucky all my AC live in the same town. Just lucky and grateful !

Think of your needs in 5/10 years in terms of medical and friendships, city opposed to rural, getting around no car.

If you need a lot of support in the future, will family be able/want to be there for you. Will they stay where they are.

Optimistic but practical?

crazyH

red1
What a horrible situation to be in ! You must do what is best for you. You have been near one son up until now. So why not do a swap and move to Ireland, a place you’ve always liked, and visit your Manchester son regularly. I am lucky all my AC live in the same town. Just lucky and grateful !

I often wish both my sons were close, those who have are lucky, but they have their lives to live.I often think of my situation as an ache that never really goes away,I think this is a common experience, that is if you have a good relationship with them!Thanks for you kind comments

Wyllow3 makes a good point about thinking of your needs as you grow older.
Could you perhaps let your home in Manchester and rent in Ireland for a few years, then come back to Manchester.

Romola

Wyllow3 makes a good point about thinking of your needs as you grow older.
Could you perhaps let your home in Manchester and rent in Ireland for a few years, then come back to Manchester.

That sounds an excellent idea Romola..

If you are no longer working I would discuss this possibility with your Manchester son.. Ireland is so lovely and friendly and with the sea nearby you could have an adventure for a couple of years whilst exploring whether it really suits you..

My mum moved to be five minutes from us when my dad passed away. After about five years my sister encouraged her to move nearer to her in Wales which she did, buying a flat in a retirement home nearby. Six years later my sister emigrated! I would make sure your son is happy in Ireland before making the move. I realize no one can predict the future but, as we found out, it's a good idea to be aware of all possibilities.

great points made, ive thought ,what if my son moved back to england! i would be in a pickle, he has been there 7 years so hopefully he is settled ,but again ,no one owns tomorrow, that is an irish proverb! There are so many factors at work, and i used to think life became easier as we aged, wrong! A childless friend once said to me 'none to make you laugh, none.......

Well I have three children in three different countries I m staying exactly where I am. One came back but its up to them to do the moving I wouldn’t be following them around They need their own lives with their own families, where they chose.
But as I often say that’s just me and we re all different

I used to be in a somewhat similar situation BB.
We decided to stay put.
Just as well, as most of my kids have done a few house moves since.
Not one of them seems to stay put for more than about 3 years, before thinking of moving once more.

Move to coast but convenient for airport/ferryport to Ireland?

Btw I adore Ireland and I live in England 100m from the sea, so I can recommend both.

Is it Northern Ireland or Southern?
That will make a difference.

Are there any nice towns between DS1, DS2 and the sea?

I like Romola's idea.

I agree about renting your home out in Manchester for now and renting in Ireland, just until you are sure you made the right call.
As for leaving one son to be with another, I suppose you could reverse that logic and say you lived in Manchester near your other son whilst the other didn’t get to see you very much. You could tear yourself in half trying to square this circle.
Go for what makes you most happy right now, your sons have families of their own, it’s time to prioritise your own happiness.
And if you live in Ireland there are cheap flights to Manchester so you can easily visit your other son and vice versa.
All the best x

I would never follow my children no matter where they lived. So many of my friends my age, in their 80's, have been left alone as the family they moved to live near have had to move because of jobs. Think about where you now live, the amenities if you were taken ill. Bus routes, shops etc. you have to think about these things, sometimes the grass is not greener on the other side.

thanks so much replies, definitely made me more aware of pros and cons

Do you have lots of friendships and activities where you are? As you get older I have found it is not so easy to start again and you will not wish to be solely reliant on your son and his family for companionship.

Move to Ireland and visit Manchester frequently. And your Manchester son should visit you and you other son often.

You are very lucky my older brothers son lives in Japan and my younger brothers only son lives in Taiwan. Manchester is just spitting distance. It's heartbreaking for them but you never know what they will do next or where they will live their lives.

It's been very interesting reading about moving around and the various combinations that it throws up. My daughter flits around locally whilst my son is pretty much based in Manchester.

I wouldn't be one bit surprised if my son just decided to head off to Australia again or some other far flung place. Who knows??? I definitely feel lonely when I'm alone.