Breadcrumbing or not?

His effort is dwindling. That's your cue to bail out. Men do this when they don't have the courage to end things. Take your dignity and go

Tuaim

I would be really selfish on this one at my time of life and say to myself: What do I want? What suits me? Then, go do your own thing!

This is the frame of mind that I am aiming for and beginning to reach.

Tuaim

I would be really selfish on this one at my time of life and say to myself: What do I want? What suits me? Then, go do your own thing!

I’d say that’s sensible rather than selfish

I would be really selfish on this one at my time of life and say to myself: What do I want? What suits me? Then, go do your own thing!

Thanks for everyone's advice. He has now messaged me wanting to know how I am.
I am going to wait until tomorrow to reply. If he doesn't suggest meeting up then I will at some point next week so that we can have a chat face to face. I'd rather do that, even if it's hard to hear. You never know...

Just don’t message him. If he messages you send a message back a day or two later. Personally I would just tell him you think he's not interested and should go your separate ways.

Why not just back away? No messages , no emails ,no phone calls. You have already told us things don't seem right and you think he is holding back - follow your instincts!
Find someone who you are fully confident about, I also wonder if he is married or has a long term partner?
You don't need this insecurity, so why put up with it. If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't!!!
Find someone who deserves you.

@NotAGran55
Yes, he may be stringing various women along or be married.
Well said. We have to be so careful in situations like this, like I said before you need answers and don't just settle for any old flannel, if it sounds phoney head for the hills.

If I had been seeing someone twice a week for 3 months and hadn't been invited to his home or met any friends, which appears to be the case, I would be wondering if he is married..

If he isn't and he wishes to have a proper relationship with you then let him approach you... ease off a bit..

As it has only been a few weeks it’s too soon to use the word relationship. As he hasn’t been pushing to see you more frequently and is slow to make arrangements, the most likely scenario is that you are one of several women in his life and he is hedging his bets.
As Esmay says, do you know his friends, family, where he lives or works?
Do you phone each other at various times of the day, or is it just messages which can be kept secret?
Be careful HazelEyes.

You need answers so would message him for a meet up and tell him exactly how you feel. If you just leave it and he never gets back in touch you will be left wondering why. And at least then if you don’t like his answers or it doesn’t ring true you can walk away before you get in any deeper.
All the best x

Perhaps he doesn't want a full on relationship? I would say you have spooked him a bit by seeming a bit full on and he is taking a step back to think about where he wants the relationship to go. Perhaps he is a little bit scared on how he will "perform" if the relationship steps up a notch. Or he might be just one of those people who doesn't like making loads of plans in advance. Like you said a little chat about where you both see the friendship going and your expectations might be the way forward.

Hi HazelEyes ,
I've seen this happen before .
Breadcrumbing is an excellent way of describing it .
How well do you know this guy ?
Have you been to his house ?
Do you know where he lives ?
Where does he work ?
And I hate to write it , but
are you sure that he isn't married or living with someone ?
Years ago , a close friend met someone who did as you describe .
It went on for months .She actually thought that they were getting engaged and called him my fiancé .
After he disappeared for a month and she became ill with worry - her father did some investigating on her behalf and found out that he was married and had a young family .
I also saw it happen to an older lady .
She was head over heels in love with a guy .
She didn't know that he was stringing along a hareem of adoring women without making any kind of commitment . He was seeking a rich widow .
He really broke her heart .

Neither scenario might be the case in your situation .

But I'm wondering if this man just isn't sure of you .
It isn't your problem.
It's his .
Please don't make it your's .
Tell him directly , I don't think that our relationship is going anywhere and let's call it a day .
And walk away .
There's someone out there for you and you deserve better treatment .
Good luck .

If you’re not sure about your future together then why not just ask him, face to face, in a relaxed environment and then decide afterwards what you want to do.

This is from google;
Breadcrumbing is a manipulative behavior where someone gives just enough attention to keep another person interested, even though they have no intention of committing. It can happen in any relationship, but is most common in romantic contexts

Breadcrumbing can be deliberate or unintentional, and can have long-term negative effects on emotional health. Some reasons why someone might breadcrumb include:
Seeking attention
Insecurity
Desire for power or dominance
Fear of rejection
Worrying about how they come across to others
Not knowing what they want
Some signs of breadcrumbing include:
Sporadic interactions, such as occasional messages or brief phone calls
Interactions that suggest interest, but there is no intention to follow through
A message that indicates interest, but there are no plans or continued discussion
To respond to breadcrumbing, you can:
Set boundaries and stick to them
Communicate your wants, needs, and feelings clearly
Recognize the pattern and call people on it
Get out of the relationship if necessary
Detach from the person emotionally
You can also try not to take it personally. People who breadcrumb do it to boost their own ego, and it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.