Dilemma over loaning money

It's difficult.
My son, almost 46, runs 2 businesses but has addiction issues. All the family have loaned him money since he was in his late teens, very little was paid back
A few years ago he was relying on food banks, so each week we paid for online grocery shopping but refused to give any more cash. Harsh but it had to be done. A few weeks ago he messaged to say he needed 2k to keep business going, I told him bank of mum and dad was empty, I've been off work sick since beginning of November

Our daughter and her husband both have good jobs but have occasionally asked for help. Obviously we helped pay for her wedding 2 years ago

It's a really difficult situation

Have you discussed it with your husband?

I think if AC think parents will continue to bail them out they will never learn to stand on their own 2 feet

Is he handy? A houseboat could be a good investment if he could smarted it up.

Thank you for coming back with the information OP.
Would your husband consider helping his son to locate a more suitable houseboat. Only handing over the money at the point of sale. The money would be safe and used for a good purpose. I agree with others., gifting is better than loaning money. I have always given money to my family. But it's for you to decide what is in the best interests of your husband and yourself. Best wishes.

We sorted both DC's fiancial affairs out when they both individually got themselves into a financial mess at university. We most emphatically made them pay it back. Like BlueBelle, we set up monthly DDs.

We wanted our children to learn that money does not grow on trees, and that if they get into a financial mess they have to sort it out and pay everything back the,selves.

It worked. They are now in their 50s and have been models of financial rectitude since. now, of course, wedo give them money, but randomly and, generally, projet directed.

I have seen and advised too many people who constantly bailed their children out of every problem and seen the damage it does to the children and also the relationship between parent and child, for me ever to make that mistake myself.

pascal30

If his son hasn't asked for the loan and your husband wishes to support him becoming more independent I think it should be your husband's choice..

However I completely agree with Norah.. make it a gift.. or if you feel strongly that you cannot afford to help him then make your wishes known.. Loans often lead to fallouts

I agree, has to be a gift.

(but of course it really depends on your own finances as to how significant it is)

He sounds like someone who isn't navigating life very easily, and it may well come to nothing, but even at 40 you have to make your own mistakes.

Or even, you never know, something good might come of it.

Well I have loaned two grandkids money they both drew up a DD and are paying back on a monthly basis (but without have to pay any interest)
Well if your husbands son is in his 40 s I m not surprised he doesn’t want to live with his mum any longer

If his son hasn't asked for the loan and your husband wishes to support him becoming more independent I think it should be your husband's choice..

However I completely agree with Norah.. make it a gift.. or if you feel strongly that you cannot afford to help him then make your wishes known.. Loans often lead to fallouts

I agree with Norah’s comment. We only ever gift our DCs money. It makes sense if it avoids some IHT, but if you can’t afford the loss, don’t do it.

We give generously, to all our children and theirs, never loan.

My GPs said "Never loan money you can't afford to lose" - Logical.

Aldom. He wants to leave his Mother's home and buy a houseboat, which from the photo, looks like a wreck

You have not said, but I am wondering if there's a specific reason why your husband is considering offering a loan to his son. Is the son experiencing some sort of difficulties?