Reconnected - only as a friend.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

I’d hate to ‘reconnect’ with anyone. Leave the past where it has sat for years, usually with good reason. Why complicate life? No thanks.

Agree, FGT. This is the problem with social media - it's so easy to drag up the past.

I think that some women are deeply insecure about their husbands.
I think you are absolutely right, Esmay.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

I’d hate to ‘reconnect’ with anyone. Leave the past where it has sat for years, usually with good reason. Why complicate life? No thanks.

Exactly my feelings Fgt.

Elowen33

His wife obviously doesn’t trust him and wrongly is blaming you. If she has a reason for not trusting him you will never know.

I agree with Elowen33;
This clearly is not your fault and I also agree with everyone who has said that you should not upset yourself and try and put this behind you.

Esmay

My mother was once accused by one of her friends of trying to seduce her husband.
Prior to the accusation ,we used to spend weekends at their lovely house.
My mother was shocked to the core .
She was not aware of trying to tempt this man .
Since I've been on my own previously superfriendly female friends have given me the heave ho .
I think that some women are deeply insecure about their husbands. Perhaps they've given them cause .
Contact this man and tell him that you are upset and shocked,but as it's made his wife distressed it's best not to contact each other in future and let it go .
It's not your fault.
Don't blame yourself over it .
Just move on ...

This heave-ho happened to one of my dearest friend when her husband died after 35 years together, many couples just dropped her, it was awful!

My mother was once accused by one of her friends of trying to seduce her husband.
Prior to the accusation ,we used to spend weekends at their lovely house.
My mother was shocked to the core .
She was not aware of trying to tempt this man .
Since I've been on my own previously superfriendly female friends have given me the heave ho .
I think that some women are deeply insecure about their husbands. Perhaps they've given them cause .
Contact this man and tell him that you are upset and shocked,but as it's made his wife distressed it's best not to contact each other in future and let it go .
It's not your fault.
Don't blame yourself over it .
Just move on ...

Don't let it upset you, it’s her that has a problem with him.

I’d hate to ‘reconnect’ with anyone. Leave the past where it has sat for years, usually with good reason. Why complicate life? No thanks.

This sounds like a classic case of deliberate misunderstanding and wrong footing and says everything about your ex-friend and his wife's relationship that it does about you. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

It is quite normal to re-meet old acquaintances through Facebook and other online forums in this day and age and if you are the opposite sex it does not necessarily mean you are seeking a relationship.

There could be a number of scenarios going on here. His wife may simply be jealous and insecure for no reason. He may have form for cheating. He may have teased her and bigged up his previous and present relationship with you to make her jealous for reasons best known to himself. Whatever the reason she became so toxic with you IT IS NOT YOU FAULT.

I met up with an old flame of mine many years ago. The difference was that my husband came with me and his wife with him and we all had a jolly time together. Lookswise he had gone down the pan - phew!

It does sound as though this man has been up to something and his wife has reason to be suspicious. It is unfortunate that you were caught in the crossfire - you have done nothing wrong - please don't let it upset you.

Needy!

What an awful thing to happen over something so innocent. You’ve done nothing wrong!

Said man should have discussed it with his wife before contacting you!

Wife is either very nerdy and paranoid or husband has been unfaithful in the past.

No, this is all wrong.
Through a common interest group you reconnected with a man you last knew as a teenager, exchanged a few social messages with him over the past two years; he then contacted you and suggested a meeting between, you, him and his wife, to which you agreed. In return you received an abusive phone call and a series of offensive texts from his wife, have severed the connection with him and also left the Facebook Interest Group.
If this man was intent on starting an affair (which I doubt) he would scarcely initiate a meeting including his wife. The planned meeting was clearly no secret and she was included. Is he aware of her tirade and the reason you have severed contact?

You should not give up a Facebook group you enjoy because of unfounded allegations by an unbalanced wife. I would be inclined to send a letter to each of them with a transcript of her texts and a reference to how offensive you found her defamation of character, and an expression of regret that so innocent a connection could be so misinterpreted.

Don't be upset, Dee1012 💐
They sound as if they deserve each other.

Thank you all for responding... I'm struggling with why I'm so upset over it all, normally I'm quite a strong person and there was no attachment at all really.

I think it's being blamed for something that I didn't do or had any intention of doing and as has been said, I'm not privy to their relationship at all or what's happened within it.

As Babs has posted Dee Good riddance to both of them. You've done nothing wrong and I hope you'll be able to put this awful experience behind you .

What a horrible experience can understand how shaken you must have been. Glad you blocked them etc. Good riddance to both of them.
Take care 🌺

Ah, the perils of social media .

It sounds to me as if this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their relationship. Perhaps he was setting you up and would have turned up for lunch on his own and made some excuse for her absence, who knows…

I understand that this would have rattled you, but please don’t dwell on it. It’s not you that’s caused the problem.

This is an extremely unpleasant experience for you Dee.. you clearly had no ulterior motive apart from being friendly.. I feel sorry for his wife.. a bullet well dodged I think..

Gosh how horrid and annoying I can’t bear unfairness and
you ve been blamed for something you didn’t initiate and had no part in , … really teeth gritting time
I d try and forget about it and never have any contact if he tries again
Very very unfair and annoying

Not your fault, don't upset yourself although this must have shaken you.

Perhaps he has a habit of doing this.
I might have sent back a text message saying you thought she was coming to lunch too and you were looking forward to meeting up with them both.

You're well rid of the pair of them.

Perhaps he intended to turn up alone to meet with you, but his wife has found out and believes you and he are both involved in deceiving her.

You’ve done all you can to end any involvement in the matter, so try to put it behind you now.

How upsetting for you Dee102. It’s sad that this has happened. However, I think you’ve done the best thing in closing down any contact.

Easier said than done, but try not to let it upset you. I can understand that it has knocked you for six, but you are not stupid, rather you are shocked and hurt by the unfounded accusations levelled at you by his partner.

Obviously, we don’t know what kind of relationship they have and whether he has “form” which might account for her outburst to you, but as I say, I think you’ve done the best thing by blocking them and closing down Facebook contact. I’m sorry this has happened to you.

He’s having an affair and she knows it. Maybe it isn’t the first time.

She’s just got the wrong person.

Not your fault at all.

His wife obviously doesn’t trust him and wrongly is blaming you. If she has a reason for not trusting him you will never know.