Belittling me in front of children

Probably because they were of a controlling disposition but did you tell him why you were breaking up and did he realise he was belittling you?

Thanks Astitchintime
There have been a few issues and yes I think you’re right he likes to be in control.
I told him on a number of occasions about the way he spoke to me in front of my children and also about him shouting and swearing when my children were present.
He knows why we have finished.

I had the same with my ex partner.

When I left I felt a great weight had lifted off my shoulder, that I didn't have to walk on eggshells any longer, worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. This was 13 years ago.

You have made the right decision, no-one should live like that.

Are you a new poster shortbreadandkilts?

Well done! Onwards & Upwards. Far too many controlling people around, we don’t need them in our lives.

Why do you ask BlueBelle?

BlueBelle

Are you a new poster shortbreadandkilts?

No they are not. Why does it matter?

Thank you OldFrill 💐. I have been on here for quite a while and like you, I think even if I was new it wouldn’t make any difference.

Well done shortbreadandkilts, feeling that a weight has been lifted from your shoulders shows that you've done the right thing.

Belittling others is a way of controlling and doing so when only one of your AC was present, was probably because he thought if they were all there they might comment on his behaviour. It's a form of bullying and bullies tend to be cowards

Mmmm ….some people feel inadequate (often men) and see you “have something “ in your case children/family. It may be they perceive your success as something they failed to achieve.
Sad though isn’t it when men do this instead of being thankful and blessed to be joining an established and happy family set up.. they seek to undermine.
Their problem.

I think you've done the right thing, it often takes a while for someone's true colours to show.

Some people think they are impressing others by belittling someone else. You are well rid of this person.

Granmarderby10

Mmmm ….some people feel inadequate (often men) and see you “have something “ in your case children/family. It may be they perceive your success as something they failed to achieve.
Sad though isn’t it when men do this instead of being thankful and blessed to be joining an established and happy family set up.. they seek to undermine.
Their problem.

If the disrespecting only occurred in front of your children, I think Granmarderby10 has hit the nail on the head!

I was seeing someone a few years ago and several times, they commented on my son's words to me i.e when we visited him and were leaving, he'd always hug me and say 'love you mum'. Walking down the path I heard him mutter the same phrase with a childish inflection.
He didn't have a good relationship at all with his children.

For me it was an immediate ending to the relationship. I often think that you are treated in ways that you allow yourself to be treated!.

From the outside looking in Dee1012 and from a distance it may cause wonder about why anyone would “allow” such treatment.

Maybe a person has not been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment in their life before, they’d be taken aback, it might take time to realise a pattern.
….but as a wise woman once said “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”

If he only belittled you in front of your children, and not in front of others, it was probably because he resented your love for your children, and theirs for you.

And as others have said, it is a way of trying to control you.

The main thing is, you have ended this relationship and feel the relief of having done so, and having had this experience should help you to see the warning signs if you meet another controlling man.

Good for you, I don't know why he did it but it can be a number of things, control, showing off, or he feels inadequate so the need to be disrespectful in front of others.
He sounds bit of a pratt to be honest, so you are better off without him.

Shortbreadandkilts

Thank you OldFrill 💐. I have been on here for quite a while and like you, I think even if I was new it wouldn’t make any difference.

You did the right thing to get shut. My sister’s husband did this all the time, it caused her to have a major breakdown.
Love your name, btw😊

It’s usually them that’s inadequate.