Looking for a friend

Macadia

petra

No word of thanks from Barry to posters who were kind enough to reach out to him.

Unnecessary post Miss Manners. 😝

No wonder Barry doesn’t have any friends. Still no thank you all for your comments That’s what people with manners do.

Seems like a very one sided arrangement BarryG1 maybe think about what you have to offer a friend.

Age Concern is now called Age UK. The OP really should contact them. They will help him with things like setting up POAs, will writing but they can also help him make social contacts.

We have had threads a number of times from quiet introverted people without friends and my advice is that you will only make friends if you make an effort and do things you hate doing like joining social groups and forcing yourself to join in and take part in conversations, even though you, at times, get very bored or stressed.

The OP could possible make contact with his local Men's Shed. menssheds.org.uk/

keepingquiet I have made several friends through GN, but not through just the onine side. I have attended or organised local meetings and made friends through sharing coffee mornings with anything from 2 to 8 other women. I am just in the processof moving and have had farewell get togethers with 3 friends I have made through GN. We will still be in contact, but less able to see each other as I am moving 100 miles away.

Once I am settled I will probably see if I can organsise a meetup in my new area.

Many churches have ministry called: Golden age, or Lunches, etc...by going there you can meet the people and spend time with them. For your elderly care or possible care home affairs, can you ask a relative or younger sibling or the GP?

I am near 50 but you can chat to me if you want

Barry probably didnt know about the "I'm On" 📌 button.

Hope posts have been useful Barry, and you find the help you are looking for. Good luck and come back here for a chat , it’s mostly friendly and often helpful.

Barry, you have the skill to write briefly and fully what your need is. As others here have said you need to make an effort to get out and go to potentially boring and unproductive meetings before you can make a friend. When you do meet someone you like you take an interest in what they need , and supply it----usually something small will suffice .

U3A is good . Remember it's not all about taking, you should really be supplying something for others too. Group leader, treasurer, secretary, giving a disabled member lifts, whatever, needs doing.

Would you like to select a church to go to? I understand they welcome strangers. They have social meetings after the services. Your practical problem of help in your old age would be a topic of interest to a lot of churchgoers. Some churches have lovely music and religious ceremonials that you may enjoy.

Sixty eight is not old it's middle aged these days. You may find a girl friend.

Barry, if you are still watching these posts, why not ring Silverline www.thesilverline.org.uk/
I’m sure someone nice will listen to your concerns and point you in the right direction

I don't think Barry will be back just yet. Do hope he has found someone to help him he sounded very alone.

Barry - if you want to talk/chat with someone but not necessarily meet them, do get in touch with the AgeUK Telephone Befriending Service. They will match you with somebody interested and sympathetic who will listen.

I am in my fifth year as an Age UK Telephone Befriender. I chat once a week to the person matched with me - my first friend for 3 years before he died, and I am currently in my second year with the next friend. It is such a privilege to hear about their lives and to share concerns, information, experiences, etc..

I'm sure there may be other Grans here who are similarly involved.

At 68 you ain’t old mate, get out of the house and do things. Join a group, a club, exercise group, get a part time job, there are lots of others in exactly the same position as you, male and female.

You mentioned your life story, if you are going to recount how badly life has treated you - don’t, friends want to chat about nice things, holidays, hobbies, sports, family, even politics.

I’m 76 I remarried 2 yrs ago most of my circle gather at the local Rugby Club or a local pub. Friends are easy to make just smile and say a kind word

Macadia it is good to hear that it is now easier for you, and it strikes me again how easy it is for us to fear asking something in case it looks 'stupid' - and how important it is to take courage and ask anyway. You often find others had the same fear of asking and the same need to know. Maybe we should have a thread about this! There is a great book called 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers - paperback, so not expensive and really worth reading.

Thank you Applegran. You have made my life easier.

Or click on 'watching'. I know it can seem a 'stupid question' but it is not stupid at all. In fact its great that you asked. we all need sometimes to ask - and you asking may encourage other people to be bold and ask too.

Open GN and click 'I'm on' Then it is easy, unless you have posted on multiple different threads.

I'd like to know that too Macadia.

I have a kind of stupid question, but after one creates a post, how does one go about finding it again in the sea of postings so one can read the replies? Always wondered what your easy methods were. Im very lost.

petra

No word of thanks from Barry to posters who were kind enough to reach out to him.

Unnecessary post Miss Manners. 😝

@Schnackie2 Your welcome they have a good range of guides and have read several of them. Hope you find them helpful.

Do you take holidays and travel Barry?

Without saying exactly where you are, do you want to share the region roughly you live?

Did you serve in the Armed Forces?

What did you do in your earlier life?

Barry you made the first move on here. So make the next by responding to those who kindly answered your post.

petra

No word of thanks from Barry to posters who were kind enough to reach out to him.

Barry may feel a bit vulnerable about reaching out like that & be gathering his courage to look & see if anyone's replied & if he's embarrassed himself (which he hasn't).
When I changed from lurking to posting, I used to immediately close the forum, close my laptop & leave the room!! & pluck up courage to look again next day. Don't know why it was such a big deal, but if you're not naturally sociable it can be (also I can be foot-in-mouth so draw down scorn sometimes!)

Reading the OP I am not clear what he is looking for, but wish him well. If he has in mind a possible future need for care, there are good suggestions already in this thread. But Barry, it sounds as if you would like also to have people to talk to. You might want to find a counsellor to tell your life story to - speaking and being fully heard can be transformatory. I am also an introvert and when on my own for a few years, I made myself go out to meet people and it made a huge difference. We do need to reach out into the world if we want connection with others. Like others I found u3a a good place to find both interest and friends. There are many other options too - groups for many different interests, like art, or walking, and more. I found I had to be brave but it was worth it. Good luck Barry!

Sorry for hi-jacking the thread somewhat. I will be clear that I misunderstood what OP was getting at, and my reply was slightly tongue in cheek though honest.
I didn't come here to make friends, and although I have exchanged PMs with some members it has always fizzled out.
Luckily I do have a full and interesting life (apart from on Sundays lol, but I think I've now cracked that one too!)
I do appreciate the breadth of topics here, I appreciate the accumulated wisdom (and some stupidity) of posters and think in the main people are friendly here, they just aren't my friends.
Now, back to OP's topic...

There could be numerous reasons why the OP hasn't responded yet petra.