My adult children are estranged from each other.

Thanks Bettyyyy. I tried raising the issue with both sides last time I saw them, to no avail. Maybe I will stop giving little updates of news. They sometimes ask, but I instead of answering I will have to say no.

That’s such a tough spot to be in. Since you weren’t part of the conflict, maybe you could gently remind them how much you care about both sides and how sad the silence feels. You don’t have to take sides, just express your hope that one day they’ll talk again. Even a small step like that can sometimes open a door.

I used to feel sorry for my poor old Mum. My brother and his wife used to run me down and then stopped speaking to me. If I went to Mum’s and they were there they would just blank me. It was awful for her. I always said hello but they ignored me.

I did everything for her and they did nothing other than complain to her about me. It used to upset her dreadfully.

When she was diagnosed with dementia at 92 they had nothing to do with her. Never visited, never sent her a card for Xmas or birthdays etc. she died at nearly 97 having never seen them in those 5 years despite them living just 5 miles away.

I tried my best over the years but they are just very nasty, jealous people.

It’s amazing how many siblings don’t get on. But why should they really just because they come from the same parents. I hardly ever mention one of my children to the other as no interest is shown. But it does make things tricky. Hugely different personalities and I have accepted that nothing will ever change.

I and my DH had a falling out with my brother and his horrid wife. It’s been since 2019 and I never want to speak to her again but I would talk to my brother if it wasn’t for her. It’s affected my brother as we were close.
My parents don’t say anything they keep out of it and see both of us seperately. At the same time I don’t want to upset my parents so I do ask about my brother as he has health issues.

My daughter still speaks to them and sees them and again I don’t say anything to her and she doesn’t tell me when she sees them. It’s best that way and if she wants to see them that’s fine.

Op all you can do is stay out of their argument and enjoy seeing both of them you can’t force them to speak to each other but hopefully they will resolve their differences x

My twin daughters are 32 now and haven't spoken for years. They fell out as teenagers over a boy. We can't do anything as a family now , I used to try and get them back together, but gave up a few years ago. It just seemed to make it worse, it's sad , but their decision

An upsetting situation for you Cabbie and it really would be inadvisable for you to get involved as that could create problems for your relationship.

Two separate meals out is a good idea and you get to celebrate your birthday twice .

Thanks for replies. I have a big birthday later this year but I guess that will mean two separate meals out- a positive way of looking at it.

One of my sons does not have any contact with his siblings, his choice. We hear from him but rarely. He is a loner and never stays in one place for long. Seems happy so now I just accept it, that is after many years of anxiety.

It’s sad 🙁 but they are adults and they need to sort it out together

I can’t remember the last time I saw/spoke to my brother, and have more than a few friends in the same situation with their siblings. It’s really quite common, but not nice for mums and dads.

Sorry to hear this Cabbie. I have a friend who has been in this situation for nearly 20 years. It’s been hard.
Dont talk about one of them ( and their families ) to the other and hope for a rethink on their parts. Otherwise you will cope. My friend has.

I agree with not interfering too. My son and daughter are chalk and cheese and are not close to each other and rarely meet up but if anything untoward happened to either I would hope they would accept / offer help. I'm an 'only' child so it doesn't bother me too much

I agree with don't interfere

This is an issue between adults, let them fix this themselves

Don’t interfere and hopefully it will blow over. Don’t take sides or talk to one about the other. My adult children haven’t fallen out but aren’t close. One is jealous of the other. I just keep quiet and have realised I can’t change anything. It’s how it is. It used to make me sad but I’ve got used to it. It’s like having 2 different families.