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Gifts - are there 'age limits'?

(49 Posts)
Mt61 Thu 17-Jul-25 13:11:21

Apart from my niece, she’s the only one who makes any effort to phone, or visit, she lives miles away
I have cut it out for the rest of my nephews, apart from special birthdays.

Esmay Thu 17-Jul-25 10:04:36

pably -fond as I am of her mother-I also find her lack of grace when receiving gifts rude .
My Trinidadian friend would call them badly broughtuppsie !
I taught my children to always thank people for gifts - since they left home they rarely bother .

Georgesgran Thu 17-Jul-25 10:02:56

As an only child, I became ‘Aunty’ to my good friend’s 3 children and always bought them birthday and Christmas gifts. Now they are in their 40s and I buy birthday and Christmas gifts for their children. I still send the ‘original’ nephews and niece a card and a bottle of wine for birthdays, but only cards at Christmas. She became ‘Aunty’ to my girls and it’s wine and a card for their birthdays.
I’ve 2 grandchildren as has my friend, so she buys for mine and I hers - works for us.

pably15 Thu 17-Jul-25 09:55:41

Esmay, can't blame you, I remember when a couple were getting married they sent out thank you cards to friends and family who gave them wedding presents. it's only being polite to say thank you,

pably15 Thu 17-Jul-25 09:52:37

nieces and nephews got when they were younger,not now ,a couple of them get cards and they also send to us, and visit,will always give to GC and as they got older I would put money in their card, can't trail round shops now looking for gifts,

Esmay Thu 17-Jul-25 09:50:29

I send regular gifts to my grandkids .
A thank you letter or a text or a call would be nice .
I gave an expensive wedding gift over two months ago to my friend's daughter. Admittedly it was a late gift because I had to change it as it was duplicated and had no receipt .
I'm still waiting for a thank you -just a couple of lines of text would have sufficed .
I've now asked her mother twice if the gift was OK..She said that her daughter was too busy to thank me .
I always send gifts at Christmas to her and her siblings.
Now I don't want to anymore .

Doodledog Thu 17-Jul-25 09:36:56

Nieces and nephews until they were 18, great ones just get a present to welcome them to the world. There are too many of them, and I'm too out of touch with what children like (and what they already have).

Astitchintime Thu 17-Jul-25 08:18:57

I also have far too many nieces and nephews of the first variety or the great variety………don’t even consider sending cards and gifts not would they expect me to.
GC are stopped at 18 for gifts but they do still get a card and we both receive a card from my GC…….OH GC don’t bother ……probably because we stopped sending money

David49 Thu 17-Jul-25 08:11:26

Personally I don’t give large gifts to GC beyond 18th or 21st birthday presents, if they want money for any particular reason, they, through their parents they can ask. It would need to be a good reason - deposit on a house, or a car for work would be examples, certainly not for a holiday or any frivolity, they can earn their own money for that.

Chardy Thu 17-Jul-25 07:34:10

That's weird. I was thinking about this at the weekend. I haven't seen mine for a couple of years (they're primary school ages). I don't think they'd recognise me if we passed in the street. Am I just pretending there's a relationship there?

Allsorts Thu 17-Jul-25 06:41:39

Stopped with nieces after childhood, in face don't hear from them. I know about them through my sister. Still buy for children and grandchildren or give money and will continue to until I am not here.

karmalady Thu 17-Jul-25 06:31:56

The above refers to dgc who are all now older teenagers. Nieces and nephews do not get anything, never have done apart from the birth present. No-one ever moans, thankfully that started with birth and applies to all of us

karmalady Thu 17-Jul-25 06:26:07

I did not set a cut-off time. I had a conversation with each of them and asked them if they would like a bigger lump sum via premium bonds or to continue with small cash amounts for christmas and birthdays. They were all very sensible and chose the premium bonds

Pantglas2 Thu 17-Jul-25 05:55:24

We were the first in both our families to have children and presents for our children stopped after their 18th birthdays which meant we stopped for theirs as well - only my husband’s sister had the nerve to moan about that!

Startingover61 Wed 16-Jul-25 21:19:45

Thank you for your responses. I know the feeling, Cabbie21, when no 'thank you' comes either from them or their parents. I think I'm going to just make a decision and contact my nieces and nephews to let them know.

Cabbie21 Wed 16-Jul-25 21:10:44

I used to give to great nieces and nephews but I gave up when I did not get a thank you of any sort, either from them or their parents.
I’d like to give up on giving to two of my grandchildren both over 18 as I hardly ever see them though they only live a few miles away and both drive. I’m trying to fix lunch out with one of them but it isn’t proving easy to arrange.

keepingquiet Wed 16-Jul-25 20:21:17

I say when they are earning their own money. We still give on landmark birthdays but only if there's a party involved...!

theworriedwell Wed 16-Jul-25 20:09:59

18 is the accepted age in my family.

Grammaretto Wed 16-Jul-25 18:19:41

There are just too many in my extended family so apart from a gift when they were born I don't send anything.
My own 7 DGC are reaching an age when I find presents really hard.
It's usually money now and a card.
I don't think that there are "rules". It's what feels right for you and your pocket

I think I have 16 gt nephews and nieces but there are also 3 step gn etc.

Calendargirl Wed 16-Jul-25 18:17:37

Never started giving to great nephews and nieces.

See nothing of them, they live away, we are of no interest to them.

jusnoneed Wed 16-Jul-25 18:13:54

We went to 18 for niece and nephews and then stopped.
I never started giving to great nephews/nieces, we rarely see anything of them.
We were cut off from grandkids before they reached that age and not seen them since, eldest now in her 30's.

JaneJudge Wed 16-Jul-25 18:08:43

have a conversation with them?
it s ridiculous in our family but my mum wont speak to my aunts and uncles

Harris27 Wed 16-Jul-25 17:59:15

18 or 21.

Startingover61 Wed 16-Jul-25 17:56:02

I have seven great-nephews and great-nieces whose ages range from 14 down to 7. Ever since they were born, I've sent cards and gifts for their birthdays and at Christmas. However, three of them no longer live near me, and of the other four I see only two very occasionally and two not at all. When is an appropriate 'cut-off' time as far as gifts are concerned? I don't want to upset anyone in my family, but surely giving can't go on ad infinitum? What do other GNers do?