Simply bored

Do you love him?

Hi. Many here have lost Husbands
and Wish they had your problem

When he leaves this World it will be a terrible shock

Just imagine for a minute. Waking up tomorrow morning. And. His not there. Just you. In a lonely empty bed

No one to talk to when you get up

No one to share your day with. No one to talk to about your day

No one to sit and have you meal with

It's a horrible empty place to be trust me

We are ALL guilty of taking our blessings for granted

You know that saying. You don't know what you have. Til you loose it

Please believe me. That is very very true

,
I think your husband is just tired, lots of women put their grandchildren way before their husband and before you know it your worn out and old. 'My husband died at sixty I would have loved to do things just the two of us.

My parents had my sisters kids every day after school, as well as bringing home washing & ironing as the husband didn’t want washing on his radiators.
They would book holidays abroad to get a rest- they could never understand these older couples moaning that they couldn’t wait to get home, mum would ask why, they would say “ we miss looking after the grandchildren” ha.

Better the devil you know, I would say.
Make your own life & try cut back on the child minding, from what I’ve heard from friends who moan, it can be a thankless task.

Looking after DGCs is a time limited occupation (sadly). Keep yourself occupied and as busy as you'd like to be and offer gentle encouragement to DH to keep up friendships and other interests. That way you'll always have something to talk about.

I mean that DGCs grow up, go to school and generally move on in life leaving us GPs slightly bereft. It's life.

Horti has never been back to say whether the advice has been helpful or useless, neither has she returned to answer any questions raised which might have resulted in more specific advice for her. I find that quite rude, personally.

I have realised that I hardly ever go out in the evenings as all the activities I joined now take place in the day time and social events are either morning coffee, lunch or afternoon tea. Trips to the cinema are afternoon, but last week I went to an open-air production and didn't arrive home until way past 11pm. It was quite exciting, driving home alone in the dark and seeing the deer strolling in the lanes (and not nearly so much traffic!)

Wow I think you should become an author. If you haven't aslready

Horti. I’ve just been reading through this thread and noted that you haven’t responded to any of the comments GNs have made, or answered any questions. It would be polite if you at least thanked people for their input, following your request for ideas.

Sorry I’ve had a period of ill health so was unable to respond
I do appreciate all the advise I’m only just able to read it all
Certainly not being rude … things happen …

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Is your problem resolved now Horti?

Harsh crossstitchfan

Patsy70

*Horti*. I’ve just been reading through this thread and noted that you haven’t responded to any of the comments GNs have made, or answered any questions. It would be polite if you at least thanked people for their input, following your request for ideas.

Horti replied in July!

Crossstitchfan

If you’re that bored, perhaps you could spend a little time learning about punctuation!

She was probably doing her best to reply whilst not feeling well. I often ignore punctuation when energy is low.
No need ever to be rude to others.

Now I’m starting to feel better again I’m reorganising myself to do more interesting activities

This spurs me on to have things in the diary to look forward to

I still help a lot with the GC but if I’m pre booked with something I am not as available
I will always be available for work cover
This works better than being constantly available hanging around waiting for a call which is what I was doing at one point and not achieving much myself

It’s a tricky balance

I’m genuinely grateful for all your input

Punctuation is not that important in my book I’m surprised at that comment

Ok, I’ll stop trying to be funny and lighten the gloom, shall I? Can’t please anyone these days.

nadateturbe

Crossstitchfan

If you’re that bored, perhaps you could spend a little time learning about punctuation!

She was probably doing her best to reply whilst not feeling well. I often ignore punctuation when energy is low.
No need ever to be rude to others.

I was trying to be funny! Clearly, I failed!

Horti Sorry for my earlier comment, I hadn’t picked up on your response. Pleased to hear that you’re feeling better now and are organising more interesting activities, My OH and I have many separate activities, but it seems to work for us most of the time. I hope it works out for you and your husband.

It is harder for men to adapt to change sometimes I think. Women are used to leading far more flexible lives which is why I am now on my own.

I am glad you came back and the child care is reducing. I think that booking stuff in advance- expensive though it may be sometimes- is the answer.

Fill up your diary and look forward to going out more when you are bored with watching TV.

I get frustrated now when my friends no longer want to go out at night, because I do still crave company and life!

I think you just have to make the best of what you have, which includes enjoying the evenings in and learning to take things a little more slowly...

I miss dressing up to go out on the town- does that make me really sad? If I did it on my own people would think I was just an old soak...

I like getting dressed up to go out too
I don’t want to just live a domesticated life I find it dull
There are things you can do that don’t cost a lot
Walking groups , local theatre etc I’m seeking things out and getting out there
Tv is ok some evenings but not all

I’m
Now on a social committee for others
Lots of ladies wanting a night out !

Go for it!