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Depressed Husband

(11 Posts)
Nuttynanna2 Sun 07-Sept-25 18:29:23

For reasons best known to himself, my 69 year old husband has stopped taking his antidepressants. He said he didn't need them anymore! He is now morose, moody, sulky and is just a shell of a man who just sits all day existing in a bubble of misery. Any attempted at conversation is met with a grunt or an angry "leave me alone". He has never been a particularly happy person, a loner with no friends. I have tried sympathy, no use, I am shrugged away. He refuses to take the pills again or see GP. Frankly, I want to shake him till his teeth rattle and tell him to shape up or ship out. I resent the miserable atmosphere he creates in the house. It need not be like this. I am coming to dislike him because he won't help himself. Just wanted to sound off. Any suggestions of therapy, counselling etc will be met with anger and derision.

justwokeup Sun 07-Sept-25 18:38:02

I don’t have any help, just wanted to say how sorry I am for your situation. Please don’t let yourself become down too. thanks

Nuttynanna2 Sun 07-Sept-25 18:43:18

Thank you. I try to not let it affect me but it does, mostly I feel resentful as his misery is self inflicted.

Babs03 Sun 07-Sept-25 18:45:08

Dealing with anyone with mental health problems can be like this, my DH after a stroke in March now suffers from depression, he is on tablets but even so can be very difficult to be around at times, and I do feel angry and frustrated when he is like this. Is only natural. We are human after all.
Your DH sounds like he definitely needs help, do you have grown children or other family who can talk to him about this. Maybe if you gave him an ultimatum, tell him that if he needs your help he must go to see the GP, but if he doesn’t need your help you will just leave him alone to stew, he will probably get annoyed but keep chipping away until he agrees to go and see the GP if only to stop you asking him.
Good luck.
🙏🏾❤️

Nuttynanna2 Sun 07-Sept-25 18:54:26

No help from family. He has alienated most of them with his poor attitudes. He doesn't appear to grasp that you get out of relationships what you put into them. I am coming to realize that I really don't like him very much.

Role Sun 07-Sept-25 19:06:45

Elderly male depression is a medical condition I was told when my husband was diagnosed. Every now and again he’ll stop taking his anti-depressants - but always has his heart pills, blood thinners, everything else. It’s wearing and tedious having this same old argument as to why he needs to take the antidepressants every six weeks or so. I feel for you Nuttynanna2.

rafichagran Sun 07-Sept-25 19:23:26

I take a anti depressant daily, if I decide to come off them I know I must not be morose, upset, or miserable for a long period of time especially if the situation can be remedied. Why should other people have to tolerate this?
I know about mental health, but him stopping a drug that helps him is his decision and making your life miserable is unacceptable. My sympathy is with you, not him. The meds help him.
It pains me to say it, but I would talk to him and if there is mo improvement, I would seriously think about leaving, you need to enjoy your later years too.

Nuttynanna2 Sun 07-Sept-25 19:28:14

I am so grateful for your support. I really thought I would be panned and told I was unsupportive and selfish. I don't feel quite so alone. Thank you. XX

Lathyrus3 Sun 07-Sept-25 21:36:32

Can you take a break? Visit family or friends? Or even a few days at a nice hotel with a spa if finances permit.

You really sound as if you need to get away for a bit unless you go under too💐

OldFrill Sun 07-Sept-25 23:20:45

Lathyrus' suggestion is a good one, can you get away for a break, stay with family? It's extremely hard going to try to support someone who won't help themselves. You need to put yourself first and get away from 'the situation - him' for a bit (at least).

whywhywhy Sun 07-Sept-25 23:36:59

I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this.
I had this with my DH about 5 years ago. I went and stayed with friends at Scotland and said that I wanted to see an improvement when I got back. I was determined that I wasn’t staying with him because I was being dragged down. He didn’t go to the drs but did pull himself up. Mental illness is hard for those suffering and also those around them.
I wish you well because life is too short. Hugs.