Absent neighbour

Well I wouldn't want someone else cutting my lawn Momac.

I'm sorry you think I'm being a bit silly. I think it's perfectly reasonable to decide when/if I want my lawn cutting!

NotSpaghetti

Did she want it cutting?
Just wondering.

I did wonder if she had planted wild flower seeds - just a thought!

I would say yes probably why wouldn’t she. If she hadn’t she probably would have said something. You’re being a bit silly

Buonanima has told us yhey don't do it anymore.

My guess is she’s never even noticed If she’s a busy lady often working abroad she won’t even see any difference will she ? I would think a patch of grass would be the last thing on her mind
I think your expectations are way beyond, my guess is she doesn’t have a clue

She might think you have no manners for not asking her if you can mow her side. You might have done it with kindness, but she may not see it thst way & be irritated by it. Why don't you just ask her if she minds? You know enough about her that she works abroad, but don't know whether she wants her grass cutting.

GoldenAge

When I lived in a long beautiful Victorian terrace in SE London some years ago a small group of keen gardeners (we had good-sized front as well as back gardens) from the terrace took it upon themselves to 'help' those whose front gardens were looking a mess - guerilla gardening was the term. The response from those being 'helped' was mixed. Some very elderly people were delighted, but others were affronted at the act of trespass and in some cases what was perceived as 'damage' to a more natural garden in the interests of manicuring the look. Ultimately those doing the gardening were wanting to control the overall kerbside impression of the terrace (and I agreed with the need for some uniformity of standard) but also ultimately, if your neighbour doesn't care about their garden that's their business. Seriously Buonanima, what's the problem with just speaking with your neighbour and making it crystal clear that your OH has been mowing her lawn in the interests of both properties looking neat and tidy, but that the 'favour' has to stop because of his health. And as others have said, give your neighbour a few ads (local library, supermarket) for gardeners probably round £25 an hour! Just one other point - imagine your OH were mowing her lawn and the mower churned up a large piece of ground, or accidentally cut own her prize magnolia - who would be responsible and perhaps more to the point, how vigorously would your high-flying neighbour pursue her rights?

I would really struggle as to why you did that - without having asked first and had my agreement.

Even if I liked the end result I would regard it as interfering - I would scream loudly and firmly and make it VERY plain it was never to happen again. The words would be "It's MY garden - how dare you?"

Basically I don't understand/many other people wouldnt understand why someone would touch someone else's property without explaining why and asking their permission.

I wouldnt understand and wouldnt accept it even back in my own homecity (where I never ever heard of anyone stealing any of someone else's garden or trespassing in it). Obviously I'd scream even louder if I was somewhere in the country where garden trespass and garden theft do happen pretty often (eg where I am now and have been shocked at how much of this I've become aware of - besides having to be very firm with neighbours to keep out of my garden).

It seriously is something that should never happen - because it isn't very different to someone saying "I don't like the colour you've painted your sitting room - I'll do it in the colour I want".

Gardens can be a very sensitive subject. Where I am now I've personally experienced:
- a neighbour sending workmen into my side garden to deal with a fence of hers without asking my permission first
- same neighbour pushing around my garden furniture in my side garden (sometimes several times in a day!)
- same neighbour squatting on a little section of my front garden and then complaining when I removed her plants
- another neighbour driving their car into my front garden by several feet pretty much on a daily basis and part-parking a regular visitor of theirs that several feet into my front garden
- Another neighbour has stolen a very substantial chunk of garden from me (by having the Land Registry take it off my title plan and put it on theirs instead). I only let that go in the end because it needs substantial work on it that will cost somewhere between £10,000-£20,000 and so I'll leave them to cover that bill now when that repair can't wait any longer as punishment for the theft.

Gardens can be a very very sensitive subject indeed....No wonder many of us believe one should never touch or set foot in someone else's garden without getting express permission first. Even if their motives are good - rather than trying to landgrab or trying to impose their own taste/style.

I think I would just say to your neighbour are you happy my DH mows your side for you when you are away or do you prefer us to leave it. She probably doesn’t realise he is doing it. I chat to all my neighbours and we know when each other are away and help with whatever is needed to help each other.

When I lived in a long beautiful Victorian terrace in SE London some years ago a small group of keen gardeners (we had good-sized front as well as back gardens) from the terrace took it upon themselves to 'help' those whose front gardens were looking a mess - guerilla gardening was the term. The response from those being 'helped' was mixed. Some very elderly people were delighted, but others were affronted at the act of trespass and in some cases what was perceived as 'damage' to a more natural garden in the interests of manicuring the look. Ultimately those doing the gardening were wanting to control the overall kerbside impression of the terrace (and I agreed with the need for some uniformity of standard) but also ultimately, if your neighbour doesn't care about their garden that's their business. Seriously Buonanima, what's the problem with just speaking with your neighbour and making it crystal clear that your OH has been mowing her lawn in the interests of both properties looking neat and tidy, but that the 'favour' has to stop because of his health. And as others have said, give your neighbour a few ads (local library, supermarket) for gardeners probably round £25 an hour! Just one other point - imagine your OH were mowing her lawn and the mower churned up a large piece of ground, or accidentally cut own her prize magnolia - who would be responsible and perhaps more to the point, how vigorously would your high-flying neighbour pursue her rights?

On a similar theme, my old neighbour would only cut to half way in along the stretch of privit hedge dividing our gardens.
It wasn't excessively wide and only about 4 1/2 foot tall.

If Mr W cut it first he would trim right across.

Azalea the neighbour works a lot overseas a lot so she won’t necessarily be there on a Sunday
If she’s a busy women navigating the world I doubt she even notices it’s been done
If you like seeing it all the same and don’t mind the extra exercise do it but don’t expect her to knock on your door with a cake however if you feel she’s bad mannered then stop and accept the tall grass until she gets it done herself she’s probably too busy to even notice especially if your husband keeps it down regularly

If it has been done unasked whilst the lady isn’t there perhaps she isn’t sure who has done it. Do you ever speak to one another? if not it is kind of your DH but also a little odd. My DH would be horrified if anyone but himself or the gardener touched the front garden

Maybe your DH could cut the grass on a Sunday, or some day when the neighbour isn’t working so that she’s fully aware of who’s doing it. If she then offers no response I think he should start doing only your own half.

Just do it out of the goodness of your heart - or not as the case may be - as after all she didn't ask you to do it and you didn't ask her whether she minded if you did.
I don't think people should have to say thanks for something they might not have wanted.

( Mind you I'd love it if somebody came along and tidied up my front garden for me, but only if they wanted to.)

Next time you see her ask if you can have a word and say you hope she doesn't mind that you've been cutting her grass - and that'll be her opportunity to thank you.

Who knows but she might have been feeling you resented her.

CariadAgain

Re frequency of mowing - and the area I live in, for instance, has Council grass verges that are communal going along in front of peoples private front gardens. It must be most confusing to people walking past to see some mown fairly often and some only being mown very infrequently.

The reason for that is because some like it crewcut and do it themselves in between the Council cutting and others leave it for the Council to do and, once in a while, think "Oh they've been round again obviously" (ie because it's all been done).

If my house had that set-up I wouldnt be mowing the grass verge in between Council mowings (which I think must be 1-2 times a year). Reason being - being charged 75% of a Council Tax bill (rather than 50% each) and I can't think of anything the Council here pays for for people in my position (ie single and childless) - but there is some Council money spent on people with children. So - I don't feel like they are spending any money on me at all - just a share towards communal lights on roads and the rubbish collection we all have (only every 3 weeks for black bags and now rationed too).

So maybe your neighbour has got an idea in her head that "It must be a Council thing etc etc" along the lines I have and so it doesn't really resonate with her of "Oh yeah the grass has been cut.... iyswim - and she maybe doesn't regard it as anything to do with her.

But - as another poster has said - talk to her and then you can see what assumptions she is making and how she wants it to be on the one hand. She can see what assumptions you are making and how you want it to be on the other hand. If it's the same set of assumptions = fine. If it isn't then you do you on your bit and she does her on her bit.

The council provides a lot more than lights and rubbish collection which you could/probably do benefit from!
Roadside Verges being cut (visibility for cars)
Library services
Parks for recreation (not just play areas) dog walking, picnic benches
Adult social care
Beach cleaning (if you live by the sea)
The list goes on 🙄

I had elderly neighbours. I cut theirs and my front and back grass, took out and put back the bins. They never gave me anything but always said thank you when I saw them.

The poster shares a front garden with her neighbour and was doing a kindness. I am in agreement with stopping doing it as her neighbour has no manners. Its very selfish living in a house with a shared front garden and neglecting it, she would be better living in a flat.

Simple, don't cut her grass. Why the dickens do you feel the need to tell the nation?

Jess20

If the neighbour isn't a keen gardener she might not even have noticed you've cut the grass! Personally, I'd not intrude on a neighbour's space without their consent. Having said that, my neighbours know they can come through my garden anytime as I have side access and they don't but we have aggreed that. Intruding on a neighbour's space is not something you can take for granted and there is a real worry about the possibility of someone trying to gain ownership of part of your land if it goes unchallenged. If you were my neighbour and did this I'd have a chat to you about it, make sure your intentions were good, and I'd be really pleased to have such lovely neighbours and try and return the favour.

That is very much a thing to bear in mind too - she may be just hoping you'll stop doing it - in case you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Because you've not spoken about it - then how is she to know?

I think you have genuinely thought you were doing her a favour - but she may be wondering how to tell you to stop doing it...as she finds it threatening to her ownership of her garden.

As for other poster - who has a communal garden for various different flats (and that sounds like it really is a communal garden) - I'd be absolutely livid with the man who is trying to impose his views on everyone and even using poison where he thinks he will (aka "weedkiller"). I've screamed very firmly at a neighbour using poison near my food-producing garden...

If the neighbour isn't a keen gardener she might not even have noticed you've cut the grass! Personally, I'd not intrude on a neighbour's space without their consent. Having said that, my neighbours know they can come through my garden anytime as I have side access and they don't but we have aggreed that. Intruding on a neighbour's space is not something you can take for granted and there is a real worry about the possibility of someone trying to gain ownership of part of your land if it goes unchallenged. If you were my neighbour and did this I'd have a chat to you about it, make sure your intentions were good, and I'd be really pleased to have such lovely neighbours and try and return the favour.

Kind enough not finding enough *

I'm so lucky to have lovely next door neighbours,ours has an open lawn across the front,and we just take it in turns. We don't keep count or anything,and it works out quite fairly. They are finding enough to do the first cut of the year too if its a bit longer as they have a more powerful mower than mine,I can't manage a bigger one

Stop doing it !

ArthurAskey ...but would uou choose to have it "under control" at all?

Yeh but if you kept it under control that wouldn’t even necessary.