family fallout

I would have sent a birthday card with a message hope to see you soon. However not knowing all the details it is difficult to advise but you say you don’t know how to put it right so assuming you want to, do make contact sooner rather than later. Estranged relationships are no fun.

Isn't it a bit extreme not to send a card? There must be a very deep rift in your relationship for you to do this.

Not knowing the details of what was said it is difficult to see, as an outsider, what could have led up to this.

I rowed with my mother, shortly before her birthday, a long time ago. Nevertheless I did sent a card but it never reached her and she refused to believe I had sent one. This, of course, made the rift even wider and more difficult to repair.

I do think it was a bit extreme to NOT bother to send a birthday card……..it might have been an olive branch to eventually get you all talking again, even if the rift couldn’t be repaired completely.
Without the facts, it is difficult to advise on how you can move forward OP but I do think you’ve missed a chance over the missed birthday card…..perhaps you’re not that bothered about building bridges 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes even sending cards doesn’t work. I worked with an older lady who completely lost contact with her daughter and grandchildren through no fault of her own.

She sent her daughter cards and money on her birthday and Christmas and also to the 3 grandchildren. She did this for 15 years. None of them ever replied or thanked her and her daughter turned the grandchildren against her and her husband.

I saw her not long before she died and she was desperately upset. Predictably the daughter finally made it to her death bed because she knew there would be money involved.

Really sorry for you all.

Just send a message "Hope you've had a lovely day".
Please do at least acknowledge it!

Message her to say happy birthday now

I still send cards after fifteen years, when she moves I won’t know where she is so won’t be able to, that will break my heart all over again. I hope I go before that happens,

Whatever had happened I would never have ignored or not acknowledge her birthday
Why not pop one through her door tonight or send it first thing Monday morning Maybe she ll think it’s been held up in the post

Falling out over money? That is really sad...

I'm sorry to hear this; it is so upsetting when family does not get along. I would send a text or email wishing your GD a happy birthday without mentioning anything else. Give everyone time to cool off and perhaps try reaching out next week.

I've learnt that money causes huge rows in the family .
It's happened in my once close and happy family and in the families of several other people that I know.
Everything is hunky dory as long as you are a bank -but there's no need to repay the "loan ."

I have taken on board all the comments, feeling like she's the one who ought to make the first move, and all the stubborn things going through my mind[were all stubborn in our family]
I messaged GD, and she was thrilled to come down and see us soon. What a boon to have you all . Hopefully, when my daughter gets the money from her fathers will she will speak again as well.

I messaged GD, and she was thrilled to come down and see us soon.

How lovely is that!
Well done coral
🥰

Sorted.

Well that's wonderful news Coral2.
Enjoy your GD's visit. Hope the situation is soon resolved with your daughter.

coral2

I have taken on board all the comments, feeling like she's the one who ought to make the first move, and all the stubborn things going through my mind[were all stubborn in our family]
I messaged GD, and she was thrilled to come down and see us soon. What a boon to have you all . Hopefully, when my daughter gets the money from her fathers will she will speak again as well.

Oh good.