Gransnet forums

Relationships

Sister ghosting me as she owes me money

(10 Posts)
Notjustaprettyface Wed 04-Mar-26 18:52:08

You may have read my post 2 weeks ago or so in which I was saying that my sister doesn’t seem to want to pay me back the £10000 I lent her last week .
I followed your advice and sent her texts which were not aggressive but just asking if we could talk . I also reminded her that I need the money because of the care home fees for my husband.
She hasn’t replied to my texts and I don’t even think she has read them
I have also tried to phone her several times but she doesn’t pick up .
I have a dreadful feeling that she is doing this to simply avoid the issue and maybe she hopes that she will escape paying back .
So I don’t know what to do , we don’t live in the same country so I can’t just go round and have it out with her .
I could send her an email but she probably wouldn’t read it
What does one do in such a situation?
Would be grateful for your insight .

NotSpaghetti Wed 04-Mar-26 18:57:29

Sadly I think this is lost to you.
If you get anything back I'd treat it as a bonus.

flowers

Oreo Wed 04-Mar-26 18:59:00

What NotSpaghetti says.
Don’t lend money again.

M0nica Wed 04-Mar-26 19:04:20

I concur. This money is not going to be repaid.

Sadly, as well as losing the money, you will have lost a sister as well.

LOUISA1523 Wed 04-Mar-26 19:08:02

She won't pay you back....accept that and move in

LemonJam Wed 04-Mar-26 19:49:44

Highly unlikely you will get the money back as advised in previous post. Hope you really didn’t loan your sister a further £10000 “last week”!?

Your sister has chosen to ignore your calls and texts. Accept the financial loss and your sister cutting contact and focus on your life and loved ones in this country.

NotAGran55 Wed 04-Mar-26 20:57:59

Too late for you unfortunately, but as a principle never lend money (or anything) that you aren’t prepared to lose.

Notjustaprettyface Thu 05-Mar-26 17:10:58

Thank you everyone
I definitely will not lend any money to ANYONE anymore
I hope that my sister will realise the error of her ways and pay me back
However, I know deep down that even in this hopeful scenario, the relationship will never be the same again

valdavi Thu 05-Mar-26 18:15:06

I am well known for being persistent, but sometimes it really does pay off.
Write it off in your head, so it doesn't bother you unduly, BUT I would keep emailing / ringing every month (alternate) just saying you want to talk. If you can talk, given that you need the money for carehome fees for someone that presumably she knows & has been part of her family for ages, she may send you some, and that might be enough for bygones to be bygones and you still have a sister.
It's a big amount to put down to experience and, as someone who's never had a sister, hang on to them if you can.

Hithere Thu 05-Mar-26 18:54:14

Another option is to sue her to recover that money- if you want to go that route

The most realistic one?
Consider any loans lost and say no next time.