How self centered of them and how sad for you at an emotional time when you would like to feel loved and cared about and to be at the centre of their thoughts and concerns when you and they are parting.
As for your sons upbringing in your home, adult children do not always reproduce what they have had in their own home. Sometimes they go against it and the woman will always be the biggest influence in what happens in a home.
You are probably very efficient and well organized. This work can be taken for granted but also people may not like to interfere.
When I look back, my husband and I were two such as your son and his wife are now. In my parents home, in my aunt and uncle's, in his grandparents. I am ashamed now. We were spoiled and selfish. Also they were very efficient people and we were pretty useless. But I am making no excuses. However I loved them all dearly and they loved us.
In a way, that they behave so badly shows how at home your son and daughter in law feel, what confidence they have in your love. That they can take it for granted. Of course it is very wrong of them. And such a shame for you. But I believe your own good sense and the real love I feel have for each other will help you to transcend your very reasonable hurt at this time. It will at least be a relief to get your house back and perhaps help you feel less sad when they go.. Best wishes and good luck.
