A one sided conversation.

It's maddening! Three of us were at coffee recently and the talker talked virtually non-stop for nearly an hour. All anecdotal and low-level detail. We couldn't stop her as she started again despite new interesting (!) ventures from us.

She sometimes says 'I talk too much!' so she knows. Is it that she doesn't care? I'm wondering if it's insecurity in her case or needing to be the centre of attention? The result is we don't feel inclined to put ourselves through it too often. Sad.

An acquaintance of mine will pick up on one particular thing and then talk about it for half an hour! Eg a handbag!Perhaps that’s a skill!

I have a very old friend who can sometime talk non stop on the phone On one occasion I must have nodded off as I suddenly heard this voice say “ are you still there “. She then proceeded to tell me that she must have a very soporific voice as another friend started to snore when on the phone. I just have to plan my calls to ensure I have plenty of time. I must add she is also very supportive

Whatever you think of her someone will think the same of you, no ones perfect

Retread

People like that talk at you, rather than have a conversation.

A natural reaction is to avoid them, but that doesn't solve the problem! I read somewhere that a way to stop them is to interrupt them politely but use their name as in "Rita, I think ... " and keep doing that.

It reminded me of a woman that has popped up in various singing groups in our area, she doesn't sing, she bellows, complete with avcompanying hand gestures, and no one wants to sit next to her. I'm amazed she doesn't get the message. She will often say something like "I trained in theatre so I project my voice". She's a bit Florence Foster Jenkins ...

Haha In our choir, ( I’ve temporarily left but will return after the summer) there is a woman in our soprano section who does exactly the same!!

I know I tend to talk too much- something another person has said will trigger me to tell a story about a similar thing that has happened to me.
I don’t want to hog the conversation so I put a tiny bandage on a finger to remind me to shut up!! It works.

Taichinan, and others who are struggling with hearing loss, please, if you haven't done this recently, get a new hearing aid check-up.

It may just be that some adjustments are required to get you back in the conversation. Fingers crossed.


My father (who wore hearing aids before i was born) used to say that deafness was socially debilitating and he wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Some people just don't understand how it affects your whole life.

Sorry, I jumped in there before reading the whole thread and I now see that others have also mentioned the problems of deafness and isolation/loneliness. I'm also aware that sometimes I don't realise that someone hasn't actually finished speaking. It's a minefield out there!!

I was just saying to someone the other day that I feared I was losing the art of conversation! I am very deaf, almost totally one side but with a little more hearing on the other. Someone says something and it then takes a while for me to interpret the jumble of sound into words. By then, if it's a general conversation, things have moved on. It's easier in a quiet room, one-to-one, but even then I struggle a bit. Deafness is very isolating. Also, some people live alone and may have little chance to chat - when they do, they get a bit carried away. Don't be too hard on us!

I’m afraid I’m running out of patience for people like this. In another life I would like to record their ‘conversation’ and play it back to them and see it was a monologue. Someone I sat next to at a pub lunch recently talked me through his house sale. It took 50 minutes and he didn’t pause for breath 🥱

FriedGreenTomatoes2

That said, some people can just talk a glass eye to sleep.

Or the hind legs off a donkey. As my mother used to say.

TyneAngel

I have a neighbour who, every time we meet, runs through her health problems from dandruff down to bunions, with a great deal else in between.....It's like being pinned to a wall....

😲😂

Conversation is like a ball, it should be tossed lightly from one person to another.

Not directed at anyone in particular but in general.
With these sorts of things, I think it is also a good idea to double-check our own behaviour.
I learnt a lesson during Brexit. I know, and knew at the time, I was talking about it too much and for far too long just because I felt so strongly about it.
I feel we have to watch out for our own 'hobby-horses', but I know there are people about like the OP describes. I suspect that meeting might be her only social event of the week so she wants to get it all out while she has a chance.
Loneliness is a pandemic in older people.

I have a neighbour who, every time we meet, runs through her health problems from dandruff down to bunions, with a great deal else in between.....It's like being pinned to a wall....

I used to work with a woman like that. Very friendly and sociable but no social filters whatsoever. It was like working with a tannoy that you cant turn off. I used to go to sit in the loo for a bit of peace. Worse still most of the conversations were about her personal life, her travels or her pets.

I would say something like "Hey Lucy I need to finish this report. Can we talk later at break time?"

Five minutes later she would begin again. The line manager did noting to stop it and one time I even got blamed along with her for being disruptive. Of course when someone speaks to you and keeps repeating your name you more or less have to answer.

Eventually I corned the line manager and told her to deal with it or move me to another office. I ended up in a larger, busier and much noisier office but was able to filter the noise out because it was not directed at me.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

That said, some people can just talk a glass eye to sleep.

Orlin was just telling me about a chap he met recently in hospital who would tell anyone who’d listen all the gory details of his surgical operations, the pain, the current diet forced upon him but didn’t allow anyone to get a word in.
Orlin said the other men in the ward were bored stiff.
FGT I pinched your comment about the glass eye and nearly put Orlin back in hospital he laughed so much.

I've a friend like that. I love her to bits but she's very tiring.
She sometimes recognises she's not taken breath and will say," I will just tell you this then you can tell me your news " .
If that ever happens I find my " turn " is very short as I am not inclined to share every single last detail of my kids and grandkids lives !
In recent years I really think undiagnosed neuro diversity is at the heart of the problem ( her social skills have never been good and she tends to alienate a lot of people).
Realising this has helped a lot and I find I am more patient.

AuntieE I think what you say is really helpful and kind. I remember once when travelling meeting a backpacker who said he'd been on his own for three weeks and had not spoken to anyone - and off he went talking non stop. I understood why, which helped.
I think AuntieE the friend who explained clearly that the speaker needed to allow others space was both kind and brave. She helped create a happier way for you to connect with others and she spoke without blame and with kindness. If we do not judge but do aim to understand it can make a big difference to other people, and also as a by product, we feel more at ease with ourselves. Kindness to another somehow makes us both happier.

What a good and brave friend to have been so honest AuntieE.
My sister talks over the top of me and it is upsetting. I think she is trying to show interest in the conversation and joining in, but it is offputting and annoys me so much. I am the younger sister at 77 so of course she knows best!

I think a talking stick which you have to be holding to speak would be the answer!

I imagine we all know people like the woman OP describes, and to be honest, a lot of those of us who live alone have often discovered to our consternation that we tend to talk non-stop whenever we find ourselves in company.

I have certainly had to reign myself in very strictly to break this bad habit.

It might help if you try saying to the non-stop talker, when she pauses to draw breath: "Now, you have told me what is going on in your life, I wonder if you could give me some advice? " And plunge straight in to whatever is going on in your life.

If she does not take the hint, you have two choices, either move away, or be as direct as one of my oldest friends was, when she drew me aside, and said straight out, "You are talking incessantly about your affairs and never taking the time to ask those you talk to, how they are."

That made me realise how rude I was actually being.

So familiar, no wearing, so common...luckily I have at least one friend who knows how to "play tennis" and my sister is good as well...but social groups and clubs? I go to meetups reluctantly and really do not like those where you are sitting because it feels like a prison when the ones close by do not know how to converse . I do get up and make some excuse. It feels awkward, but I wonder if they even notice???

We have a lady in our social group who is just the same. Her family, her ailments, her new purchases, her menus….non-stop.
Nobody wants to sit with her and it is almost a bunfight to nab a seat on a different table. She never says she is short of friends, she is totally oblivious of her own unpopularity.

kircubbin2000 oh dear that's not nice.
I chat to both men and women ag my gym.

I admit I'm not interested in football but recently (last 3 weeks or so) have had casual but interesting interesting conversations about travel, healthcre, older parents, apprenticeships and dogs- today I've been talking about balance devices and the benefits of a "private" guide at museums and archaeological sites.

I'm sorry you find that your gym is different.
Do you have a member's area?

NotSpaghetti

What are the men like, jeanie99 regarding conversation?
Maybe try chatting with them?

I have found in groups of men I'm often ignored or the conversation switches suddenly when a more interesting man starts to talk football.I used to have coffee with a group at the gym and as soon as a new man joined I was forgotten.
Also found it strange one day when my friends son joined the group his dad ignored me and didn't introduce me.