Giving things away. Things with meaning.

I cannot part with just a couple of my mother’s jewellery items, they are far too precious but sadly too delicate to wear. The costume jewellery was despatched some years ago along with several, non- working watches. There’s no tea sets but there is a couple of pieces of glass wear that have been loaned out and treasured over the decades and thankfully always came back intact. The AC often still ask to borrow them too for a specific occasion.

My family are horrified at the prospect of being on the receiving end of some of the family 'treasures'.

I have compiled a small file for each of them with a potted history of our family going back to the 1600's and copies of family photographs. They all have a few small items as keepsakes.

The problem comes with the huge old-fashioned tea sets, decorative plates and glassware. They don't like them so don't want them.

One of my DIL's said she loved the tea set. She adores anything vintage, so there's a label on it for her when I go. As for everything else it has gone, bit by bit to charity shops in the classy parts of East Surrey. Someone else may enjoy them and the money will go to charity.

I suppose the article was really talking about placing our history in the hands of someone else.

I think this is different to having/choosing a memento of someone.

My daughter who chose The manicure set had previously been given a bangle that was significant to my mother-in-law.
It was placed in her safe keeping.

I have very few things I'd want to place but lots of things I hope my children might use and enjoy.

When ny husband died in 2021 I asked all three of my daughters if there was something in my house they would like to keep in remembrance they all chose a couple of things that reminded them of him. When my time comes, they will have a whole house to chose from, although I am trying to declutter as much as I can and also hoping to downsize at some point, if I can build up the enthusiasm before its too late.

I have definitely started on the decluttering.
Firstly just stuff personal to me and no one else, if I don’t need it it goes to recycle or charity.
Anything of value will be kept for now, at least. I may want to give those things to members of my immediate family when the time comes.
Anything else is immaterial. My daughter has already told me to get rid of stuff because she doesn’t want the job of doing it !
When my own mother died I just took stuff that I had bought for her, tbf thats pretty much all that was left anyway by the time my sister had gone through everything.

I really loved my mother and she adored me
So l do try to hold on to stuff she bought for me or l bought for her.

Don't have that much really and just small things. But would never give them away. Very precious 💞.

When my mother-in-law died last year my youngest daughter (late 30s) wanted her manicure set.
They always did nails together and in the last five or six years my lovely daughter did her grandmother's nails for her.

I inherited a lot of stuff from my mother and grandmother. When I say I am going to get rid of it, offspring says pass it by them first in case they want to keep it!

Yes thank you adulthood has been easier and certainly since my parents died, I have had 6 years of calm since my narcissistic mother died.

I had always prayed for a few years of peace and I am thankfully enjoying them.

The article has really made me think, I am going to ask the children what they would like.

No. I can see that.
And I feel for those with very unhappy childhoods.
It is a real privilege, and life enhancing, to be well loved as a child.

I do hope that you found real love as an adult Sago.

It’s an interesting article, despite not being in the least bit sentimental regarding objects I fully understand why someone would start to distribute their cherished belongings.

I had an unhappy childhood, I have nothing of my Fathers and one thing of my Mothers, it was a necklace her Father bought her, I kept it for my Grandfathers sake not my Mothers.

My husband who had a very different childhood is very sentimental, I was lucky enough to inherit some of my MIL’s jewellery and my husband has many of their belongings, FIL’s Cavalry boots from 1940 sit in their beautiful wooden trees in our hallway and I love them.

Thing is I don’t think our children feel the same, I don’t want to burden; them with “stuff”.