Let's talk dating apps with Lumen

Sign of the times I suppose but glad it came too late in my life and I don't have to make a choice whether to use or not.

I can't imagine ever using a dating site, after being privy to the experiences of a colleague a few years ago. She met up with a couple of real oddballs that she quickly got rid of, then thought she'd hit the jackpot with what seemed to be her dream man. The relationship was progressing well and they were planning on moving in together, when she realised that his main interest was her teenage children. It was an awful shock for her, but thank goodness she found out in time.

Sadly my partner is in a care home (only 62) so I’m single but not if you know what I mean. The whole idea of starting again when his dementia journey comes to an end fills me with horror. I can imagine ever going in a dating site or even dating again.

I haven't used dating apps recently but when I did I had a mixed response. Relying on photos can be misleading as some were obviously taken a long time ago! I have met a few nice men but have decided the best way to meet is through introduction or by joining something where there is a mutual interest. I'm presently dating a man I met through our mutual love of dancing.

many years ago i was talked into trying online dating, got bombarded with married men who were looking for a mistress, the classic, my wife says its ok, became the norm, they went in the delete bin, didnt seem to be anyone normal out there, i went on one date with a good looking man dark hair brown eyes, when i met him he confessed he sent a pic of his brother as he was better looking, date number 2 bitched all night about what everyone in the pub was wearing, i got sick of the what does she think she looks like in that dress, then asked his place or mine, i legged it out the back door and went home, luckily he didnt know where i lived, in a recent artical it said 9 out of 10 people lie on dating sites, yip, i met most of them, single now have been for last ten years and more than happy to be so,

This year I decided to to try online dating after being single for 7+ years.
I had used them in the past (POF) and met an ex via online dating.
I'm tech savvy, setting up was easy, posting a picture etc. I'm not great at talking about myself though so that bit was quite sparse....

I'm a young grandma (40s) and seemed to be attracting younger guys. Some were very nice to chat with, some clearly had one thing on their minds! I went on quite a few dates.
I still chat with a few via WhatsApp and see one or two casually. No boyfriend/partner to speak of.
I deleted the accounts (POF & BADOO) when I became bored of the same faces/smutty comments....

After coming out of a 30 year relationship & having had a short, bad marriage prior to this, I’m not interested in any kind of dating. If I was, not sure I’d go down the online route, for many of the reasons others have mentioned. It’s far too easy for men (some women too) who are on the narcissistic spectrum to target women on these sites. Fast approaching 60 (when did that happen?) & having never really lived on my own, I’m now relishing this. I no longer want to compromise (can’t stand pets/dogs & wouldn’t share my home with them), have a disability/long term health conditions. This could lead to prospective partners taking advantage, plus couldn’t face explaining it all to someone new?

I’ve tried a couple, my friend signed me up to me as she was convinced that I needed to meet a man. I must say they really are not for me! I used them for a few days and was quite horrified at the type of messages received and at the cheek of some of the men out there. I had rude messages, all sorts. Now I’m no prude, I can swear and enjoy banter with the best of them,,, but seriously, men expect women to be interested enough to go on a date with them after they’ve been so rude from the outset!?! I had one man who I had been chatting with on and off for a day. He seemed nice, funny, polite etc. Then he asked to me to meet him for a date the following day. I declined and said it was a bit quick and I would like to get to know him a bit better via message first. He told me I was leading him on and that “this is a dating site, not a chat room”! Have to say I was pretty shocked at that, is that what people do, meet up with strangers after only a few messages?! So I decided that dating apps definitely weren’t for me after all and haven’t used one again since!!

Never used them myself - no need as happily married - but I know lots of people who have found successful relationships/partners via dating apps. I think it's a good way of meeting a wider range of people than would be possible if you stuck to traditional ways of meeting. I think you have to be very selective in your choice of dating app though, and take safety measures when meeting up for the first time.

Not interested, but prior to finding my partner (in the real world) I met up with a few people that I first met online, not on dating sites but it was a similar situation in various ways, it helped me to work through a difficult period of my life, however in hindsight I realised it was very risky and I was careless, so I wouldn’t recommend it, perhaps double dating with a friend would not only be safer, but a more enjoyable option too.

Fortunately still married so not had cause to use them. Unfortunately, having heard many horror stories from friends - I think I'd be terrified!

After my last relationship ended I waited a while and then decided to use a dating app to find the usual companion, dinner date, possible holiday friend and so on that I thought was missing from my life. I felt a bit like Bridget Jones, everyone had a partner apart from me. I took a one month subscription and I lasted a sum total of 8 days. Most men are looking for younger women, that immediately catapults me into very ancient territory, some young men, younger than my son are looking for older women...why? Some men can’t be bothered taking a decent photo of themselves, this is telling me something. Some men want to talk about why their last relationship ended, set for a sparkling evening out then. At times I felt like like I was looking through mug shots, not a great or natural feeling. I very quickly came to the conclusion that for me it all felt a litttle too forced and I’d be better leaving my chance of true love to destiny. Isn’t that really the way it should be?

i'm very dubious about dating sites ,after all the photo might not be of them anyway. i remember being on plenty of fish. picked this nice man .or so i thought ,average guy brown hair medium build .who turns up a guy who looks nothing like his pic .a lot over weight. ok dont judge a book by the cover. took me out for supper.....hmmm. bought me wine. (i dont drink) he got angry.saying as he was paying i should drink it. ...i asked him whats with you telling lies.? about appearasnce he said if he had told me the truth i wouldnt have gone out with him. told him yes and i not staying here with a liar and walked out....i never been on a date where they tell the truth...so a dating site .no thankyou not anymore..

I have been happily married for 38 years so never used a dating app. One friend of my age successfully met a partner on one.

I've never tried a dating app but I don't see why not in the future.

I’ve not used dating apps myself- nervous of the safety of it- but my daughter has a couple of friends who have met their “ Mr Rights” on them.

I haven't used them but have several friends and family that have had success on some of them

It no any different to going out meeting people as long as your cautious, I don’t use them personally anymore, my daughter used a dating site & ending up marrying this year the perfect couple.
Ideal for professional people who are limited to going out as lint as your cautious no harm.
Mobile apps make many things easier I have used & found them easy, the photos I feel are younger photos posted so maybe over a few weeks of getting to know each other ask for photos or even a FaceTime, just never meet in private & let others know where you are meeting as extra precaution.
Happy dating never to old to fall in love or meter new people

I met both my current partner of 8 years and my last long-term partner via dating apps. We're I a single woman over 50 I would not want to meet men at pubs and clubs and consider dating apps to be a convenient way to initiate contact, indeed I have same age friends who are using them at the moment. As long as they are used safely (e.g. meeting in a public place, letting a friend know who you are meeting, where and when etc) I think they are a great way to meet people.

I've tried dating apps several times over the last 9 years. Because I have a fairly busy life, I struggle to find the time to spend on there and don't want to spend time on endless messages, I would rather meet face to face. Also, because I don't have a lot of time to spend on there, I tend to begrudge paying the fees and only use free ones.

Ah, I'm just glad I'm not in the market!

I see what you mean though.
Good luck to all you daters.

Oh boy wish I could show a few, here are some I saw -
Attempting to blow a kiss, making you look like a puffer fish
A computer cam photo while you are looking at the keyboard
A distorted selfie , that is common
A sexy photo that show too much flesh
And many more

The photo is your market place, sensibly dressed, well groomed, nice smile, two photos ideally, one head and shoulders, maybe a party shot, the other full length doing something interesting, travel, activity, even work if it’s your passion

Men look at the photo if it doesn’t appeal they move on without reading further

What's an awful photo?
All of mine are awful!
I can't believe I have the nerve to take a face like mine out in public when I see a picture of myself.

Male response here.
I did try a dating site for 2 months earlier this year and there was no problem arranging a date with ladies around 60, much easier than I expected and I dated 4 during that time. 3 did not go beyond the one date, the forth lasted 5 weeks when because of her family commitments it fizzled out.

Chatting to them about dating sites in general, they had all had some abusive messages, the other interesting thing they all had been single for a longish time, in one case 23yrs!. That aside many ladies post truly awful photos, if you do that it will encourage abusive messages. Since then I have been dating a local lady who I have known for some years as a friend, as we know each other’s background it has been easy to get on.

I don’t think most women who asked the right questions would have any problem avoiding bad experiences, if anyone sends improper messages block them straight away and choose a safe neutral venue for the first date.

I've not used one and would feel pretty uncomfortable doing so after a couple of friends who tried them had bad experiences. I have always been initially attracted to someone by "their spark" and general aura and I don't see how this would translate via an app. Call me old fashioned but they are not for me.