Sex and relationships webchat with Trudy Hannington

Fantasies are nice. Some of the best orgasms can happen in your head.

I shouldn't think so, it may be for a person outside the relationship's benefit.

Well, I can only say, Kiora, that I feel exactly the same way as you. Can I also say that Granny 23's questions are very good and just about sum up every possible problem/query. I've often wondered, with regards to Viagra, Cialis etc, if the doctors that prescribe it consult with the mens wive/partners before they do a prescription.

Following on from those very sensible suggestions - what if an OH is too shy to go to the doctor to ask for Viagra? I have heard that there are all sorts of dodgy substitutes out there.

I read somewhere that there are only sexual problems in a relationship if one person in the couple is unhappy with the way things are. Which may seem obvious, but many people think they have a problem purely because so many other people think they ought to be having more sex. All those magazine surveys have a lot to answer for, and how do we know people are telling the truth? The surveys I used to read in magazines (now given them up, too many adverts) all showed that sex lives slowed down hugely when people are only in their 40s. Older couples may part company and find a new partner, but then the desire once more settles down very quickly into affection, often after only a year or so. Some people have a very high sex drive, others do not, and it's really a bit of a lottery as to who you end up with, isn't it.

To say nothing of all the illnesses and ailments, stresses and tiredness, worry about ageing bodies and impotence. Boredom with the same old sexual routine but not wanting to hurt your partner's feelings.

Besides - I have been to a few dinner parties lately where there have been a mixture of older and us slightly younger couples. One of my friends is in her 50s, like me, and given to wearing low-cut tops and has a very flirtatious manner. Rather than being charmed by her, as all men seemed to be only a few years ago, the older ones in their mid 60s and above looked plain scared!

Good for all of you who think you know all there is to know by the time you get to our age! Some of us may have questions to be answered. Kiora wonders if she is in the minority in not feeling like sex because she probably doesn't want to go round asking all, her friends !! You never know when you might meet a G netter in the flesh, and be embarrassed that they know your darkest secret about the leather, chains and whips in your wardrobe.

I have had a real giggle reading theses. I think jings should have her own radio/ TV show. I am going to ask a question though. If you ever meet me promise you'll forget I've asked this. Right up until my mid 50's I really was interested in sex. I could even be known to look at attractive men in the street. But it's gone. The whole thing. I never think or feel like sex. I'm so disinterested that I don't even miss it. Actually on some level I think it's freeing. I can now have a banter with men without worrying that they think I might be coming on to them or indeed they might be coming on to me. I have on occasions wondered if I should do anything about it but I just can't be arsed bothered. The thought of gels and creams is really off putting. Now my husband does somtimes ask why and I do tell him. I think he would like me to show an interest occasionally but accepts that we are happier now than ever. I'm much easier to live with than my old hormone crazed self. I don't think I've asked a question really I'm just wondering is this more common than I think or am I odd?

Was that deliberate Granny23?

pubic interest Granny23

I feel a bit sorry for Trudy. How is she going to cope with you all?

Woman's health clinics might give advice.

Oh, I think kitty is interested. Definitely.

I agree with Kitty for the same reasons. I am not really interested either.

It's good that there is someone who can offer advice.
When my father in law got married again in his 60s, he and his new wife had sexual problems and she turned to me for help - no way! Too personal.
I rang Social Services and asked "do you have anyone who can give sexual advice to the elderly?" and there was a suppressed giggle, and answer "No, sorry!"

scrub that! sorry.

#noseycow

O M G ! Have you got both Kitty?

I can answer D - no! An open mind and a sense of humour help!

Sorry

Nothing offensive there Granny23. All perfectly good questions. #respect

and I will keep my mouth shut about 'setting the balls rolling'

Is no-body going to ask any questions? Is everyone too shy? Or perhaps no one has a problem? Perhaps I could set the balls rolling with a few sample questions, purely in the pubic interest, of course - I am admitting to nothing.

A. What to do if HE is still very keen and SHE has lost all interest?

B. What to do if SHE is still very keen and HE has lost all interest?

C. Is Viagra ever the answer?

D. Does a permanent catheter or vaginal atrophy mean - THIS IS THE END?

E. Can you explain why some couples who have been together 30/40/50 years cannot discuss matters sexual with each other?

F. What to do if the mind is willing but the flesh is weak?

G. If you lose your partner in later life do you just have to come to terms with celibacy?

Just trying to be practical here - hope no-one is offended

Very funny about the defibrillators and vibrators.
Reminded me of a conversation when 6 of us lady friends of many years standing we're having a catch up night out.
We agreed -tongue in cheek - that should one of us pop our clogs, one of the others should check the bedside drawers and remove anything that we'd prefer our DC weren't aware of, in particular if it involves batteries.

My sentiments entirely Galen

BTW 6pm is a late night for me. I go to bed at 7.30 when I am working.

I would get a much less polite comment Janerowena if a goal was scored while I was in front of the TV, dressed or undressed.

I know the feeling. I always knew that even if I stripped off and knelt down naked in front of the tv, I would just get a 'Why are you doing that? You will get cold!'.

I've never managed to compete with Match of the Day.

Should I take to wearing a football strip to bed?

Yep! Make a change from dishing the advice out on here.

Roll up folks! A real life agony Aunt!