A four line poem

Got no time
Run out of rhyme
Shades of grey
Nothing to say

Busy all week
Housework won't keep
Ironing to do
How about you

Friday at last
Week goes so fast
Time to unwind
Leave work behind

Sit with a drink
Some time to think
Jot down a verse
It could be worse ......we'll probably not actually

Ain't seen no pomes the last few days
What's happened to us all?
Are we busy with those shades of greys?
Trying to do it all?

I put my nipple tassles on,
Are my boobs hanging lower?
I decided to twirl a bit,
And cleaned the blooming floor!

This is not 4 lines, and not mine, but it made us both laugh.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!

I am the toilet fairy
There's one in every house
Whose job it is to change the roll
As quiet as a mouse.

No-one sees her do it
They never think to ask.
Who is the mysterious person
That undertakes this task?

Or do they think it's magic
When the new roll just appears?
I worry I'm invisible
And this justifies my fears.

The fairy does the cleaning.
The fairy cleans the loo.
The fairy does the washing.
And the ironing too.

She picks up all the bits and bobs
And clothes strewn on the floor.
She puts away the dressing gown
That's hanging on the door.

She cooks up tasty dinners (mostly)
And washes up the pots
And when they were all babies
She wiped their little bots.

But don't think I'm complaining
It never is a strain
In fact I quite enjoy it
Hmm...have I gone insane?

I have a hub like that I cry,
who leaves his clothes upon the floor,
to pick them up, he says
is a ruddy chore.

What chores, he says?
Well, mine's a G & T!
For to pick his smelly socks up
Requires a new CV.

Do you know what a wardrobe is? I asked DH today.
Of course I do, was his reply, what a silly thing to say.
Then why oh why have I just found these garments on the bed
A coat, a scarf, a shirt, some socks and that daft hat you stick on your head?

Today I had a burger
Made with veg and nuts
It was very tasty,
But it stuck inside my guts.

I'm sure it'll be away quite soon
For it was full of fibre
So if I were in Rome right now,
it would join the river Tiber!

Or if I were in gay Paree
it would join the Seine
And bob away towards the coast
with a gay Paree distain.

Or again, in Hung-a ree
It would join the Danube
I could capture its escape
And post it all on Youtube

Fear not, our robin friend is safe,
If in the warehouse he will stay
They 'ticed him in there yesterday
Let's hope he flies away.

That's totally appalling
To shoot our little friend
Waitrose is supposed to be caring
No more to there I'll wend

Waitrose robin is in danger
For outside he will not go
Someone is coming with a gun
To shoot him dead, oh no!

Today we tried something new
It's called cauliflower rice
It works just like the real thing
In fact it's rather nice.

We had it with a Korma
And it soaked up all the sauce
So the next time that we have it
I'll make extra sauce, of course.

A robin has made his home
In our local Waitrose store
He leaves his little calling card
Upon the shiny floor.

He flies around the warehouse
And roosts upon the beams
He doesn't want to go outside
Or that is how it seems.

The standard is really very high
You put my poems to shame
I'll have to try much harder
To make them scan the same.

vampire the poems you pen here
Really are the best
Reading them gives such cheer
Along with all the rest

I've got a spiralizer
It's really lots of fun
You turn and turn the handle
Til all the veg is gone

It turns out veggie pasta
To use instead of duram wheat
You put it in a frying pan
To give it a little heat

You serve with whichever sauce
You like you would normally
And eat it anyway you like
Formally or informally.

But the calories very low
Compared to the real thing
In fact they're so very low
It's enough to make you sing.

Normally a pasta dish
Is 800 calories or more
But vegs are low calories
So the number goes through the floor

I really love my pasta
Even more than bread
But I like veggie pasta
Cos weight I'm trying to shed.

It wasn't that we're lazy
Or simply being lax
We were watching Call the Midwife
And Last Tango in Halifax

Goodness me, it's all gone quiet
No Sabbath poems to be seen
Guess that's better than a riot
Let's hope Monday brings a wheen.

Poor wee chappie, vampirequeen
A bum boil is not cool
Hope he feels much better soon
And gets back to his school.

DH's medication makes him go all hot
He asks me 'is it warm in here?' I say 'not it's not'
He sneaks into the hallway and turns the thermo down
And says to me 'well if you're cold put on your dressing gown'

DS is in hospital
And feeling rather glum
Cos he can't sit properly
Due to a boil upon his bum

The put him under yesterday
And cut it open wide
Then poked about around it
And cleaned it out inside

Why asleep you ask me
Well he's only six years old
And he didn't really understand
The things that he was told

So they put him to sleep
Before they did the op
So he wouldn't be frightened
When they gave his boil the chop.

They'll let him out tomorrow
When they're sure that he's OK
But no school for a few days
At home he's got to stay

Cos of that he's heartbroken
He really loves his school
100% attendance
Is his normal rule.

Indoors again.
Because of the rain.
I really don't mind.
Relax and unwind.

I'm struggling with the dusting
It's taking me all day
I keep wishing for a Genie
To take it all away!

I have to admit failure
I've put my heating on
I really hate to do it
It costs a ruddy ton.

Looking all round Gransnet
Cheers me up no end
I forget the cold and wet
And read about my friend(s).