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cancer

(311 Posts)
etheltbags1 Tue 28-Apr-15 21:41:14

I have on many occasions asked for advice on these forums but this time it is really serious, my cancer is not responding to chemo and has not been killed in my lymph glands. Any advice how to cope with this situation, I don't feel ill or weak or ready to depart this life and will fight with all guns blazing but what can I say to myself in the small hours when I am scared.

Ana Tue 28-Apr-15 21:55:00

I'm so sorry the treatment you've had so far hasn't been totally successful, ethel. What does your oncologist recommend as further treatment?

Ana Tue 28-Apr-15 21:56:33

(as for the small hours...sad Have you been prescribed any sleeping pills/sedatives?)

etheltbags1 Tue 28-Apr-15 21:57:10

I can either have an op or just further chemo with a different drug. neither will give me a cure.sad

Soutra Tue 28-Apr-15 22:07:34

Your fighting spirit is to be commended etheltbags. Obviously I have no medical knowledge but your oncologist will I hope give you the best advice. Main thing is you are not going to roll over and let this b*st*rd illness win without a fight. Give it all you have got, even if a complete cure is out of the question, more time and quality of life is worth fighting for. Good luck and if the wee small hours are a lonely time, I am sure there will be Gransnetters ready to share those wakeful hours with you. flowers

Mishap Tue 28-Apr-15 22:32:25

How upsetting for you ethel.

It is good that you do not feel ill and have some fight in you.

I have a friend who has had cancer for about 7 years now and it is kept at bay by repeated bouts of chemo. They have said that it will never go away, but that the chemo should keep it at arm's length. She has an excellent quality of life I am glad to say.

I send you lots of strength during this decision-making time.

As to the wee small hours - I have an iPod Nano which is basically a very tiny iPOd and I bought two CDs that I have loaded on to it - one is of birdsong and the other of beach sounds. I do find them both very comforting at night if things are not going well.

janeainsworth Tue 28-Apr-15 22:47:54

Ethel I hope you can feel that your oncologist is giving enough time to you to discuss your options. Do you have a dedicated nurse who can help you to ask the right questions?

GrannyTwice Tue 28-Apr-15 23:27:25

Also, the specific cancer charities run help lines and provide excellent information - csn you get in touch with one of them? They really are amazing and I'm sure would give you real support and guidance of a very high quality

amarmai Tue 28-Apr-15 23:44:41

Music comforts me in the night ,Ethel. It's not hard to imagine being where you are ,Ethel. You are going to be in many hearts and minds - and also prayers. You are not alone and some of us are across the Atlantic and are on Gn while UK is mostly asleep.

loopylou Wed 29-Apr-15 06:51:13

Hello ethelbags, while a cure isn't on the books, in a previous thread you said that the tumour itself was shrinking, so has that changed too?
Have you had enough information to make a decision about surgery or different chemotherapy?
I'm sure the Bowel Cancer charity would be able to help you too.
Very much keeping everything crossed for you, flowers and ((hugs)) x

Falconbird Wed 29-Apr-15 07:21:27

Ethel - if they're still offering treatment that's a completely positive sign. flowers Keep strong. Glad you are feeling well in yourself.

bikergran Wed 29-Apr-15 08:11:32

Ethel I have no knowledge of treatment about cancer, but like OP have said , you sound like you have plenty of fight in you and at the moment you don't feel too bad, I'm sure others can offer more advice than me, but as for the hours when you cannot sleep, then maybe there are others hanging around on GN wanting to pass away a few hours, I myself almost got back up around midnight to switch back on, I prob would have done if I had an ipad sat next to the bed, instead of having to switch laptop back and and wait for that to boot up..maybe you could start an *can't sleep thread" ? may be worth a try, open topics etc.... bfn

Lona Wed 29-Apr-15 08:25:34

ethelt I would definitely ask for something to help you sleep. All those awful fears seem much worse during the night, and you need your rest to enable you to cope during the day.
Keep strong, xx flowers

AshTree Wed 29-Apr-15 09:38:02

I wish I had an answer for you ethel. Listening to gentle music or natural sounds, as others have suggested, may well help. But yes, you do need to ask for something to help you get through the night. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs - and lots of flowers

etheltbags1 Mon 04-May-15 23:39:26

thank you all for the messages, have been keeping busy this last week.
the doc has explained that its the lymph glands that are causing concern where the cancer has spread to. Am seeing another doc this week.
Sorry I don't feel like winding anyone up at the minute.wink but I might soon.
regards to you all

Coolgran65 Tue 05-May-15 01:24:47

ethelb I have no personal experience but could not just read and go. I find myself up and about most nights and if I have a worry it will be intensified many times in the wee small hours which can feel very lonely.

As others have said - Getting something to help you sleep may get you through the worst of the night. How do you feel about sleeping pills, some folks totally disapprove. Me... I take all the help I can get for sleep.

I am not a religious person but do believe in some sort of karma and positive thinking. My positive hopes for you are winging their way to you.
And I hope that it won't be long until your feisty self is back on the wind up !

Teetime Tue 05-May-15 09:19:37

ethel I'm so sorry you have had this news. As others hear have said your oncologist is the best person to advice but I did wonder if there any support groups , perhaps the Macmillan Team could help. Can you give them a call, they have a helpline?

whitewave Tue 05-May-15 09:23:06

ethel hang on in there. I have friends living with cancer - for which there is no cure but my best friend who is now in her 7th year with terminal cancer is planning a cruise to the South Sea Islands.

Mishap Tue 05-May-15 09:25:30

Looking forward to you winding us all up ethel! - and hope that the next stage of treatment will become clear soon. Good luck.

daffydil Tue 05-May-15 09:26:03

ethelb I have had breast cancer so the treatment may be different but in my case it had spread to the lymph glands in the neck. I had 20 sessions of radiotherapy and that did the trick. A friend of mine had it spread to more of her glands also to her bones. She is on low dose chemo taken orally and has been for some years. She just has a yearly check up and lives a normal life. So don't despair. Perhaps you could ask the oncologist what treatments are available and get as much information as you can. By the way my cancer was 20 years ago. We are all rooting for you.

magpie123 Tue 05-May-15 09:29:24

Sorry to hear about your problems Etheltbags1 I don't know which type of cancer you have but when I had a cancer scare I found www.jostrust.org.uk/forum really helpful, they also have a private forum for advance cancer sufferers, I found it very helpful and comforting to talk to other people with the same problems and fears.

Best wishes

etheltbags1 Tue 05-May-15 22:31:46

been reading your messages and I am more positive, thought people who have long term chemo were terminally ill and on the verge of dying, my cancer has not spread, as yet to any major organs but may do. I think as yet Im quite lucky compared to some of the examples I am reading about and some people I see in the hospital.
magpie I have colon cancer and sorry about the pun but colon cancer is shit !!!!!!angry

etheltbags1 Tue 05-May-15 22:33:12

btw I wont wind anyone up on this subject its too serious. sad

Bogoff Tue 05-May-15 23:20:38

Ethelbags, I find it impossible to know how you can cope, as I cannot imagine myself in your situation. I suffer with depression and often lay awake worrying about things that are in fact trivial, but my mind won't rest. I listen to music on my MP3 player, distracts my thoughts and I usually drop off. flowers

Deedaa Wed 06-May-15 20:20:15

Nowadays quite a few cancers are being looked at as chronic illnesses that won't go away but can be kept under control with chemotherapy. >y DH is still here 5years after he was told 6 to 12 months. It sounds as if you're a long way from the Last Chance Saloon but I know it is horrible in the small hours when everything gets magnified and the night seems endless. Would talking to a therapist help? They might be able to cope with the worries.