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Bowel movements (you have been warned!)

(230 Posts)
phoenix Tue 26-Apr-16 20:23:55

Now, we all do it, even Her Maj & George Clooney (doesn't do anything for me, so feel free to substitute a name of your choice)

Well, I've been having a bit of a problem lately.blush.

Normal thing, feel the need to go, take oneself off to the appropriate location, remove or adjust the relevant clothing, and assume the position. Please note I have taken no reading matter or anything else to help pass the time,as usually I can be in and out pretty swiftly.

However recently the procedure described above has not been entirely successful.confused

It all starts OK,but then it all kinds of grinds to a halt. I suppose the best way to describe it is that things get sort of "stuck".

When this happens I have tried various techniques.
1) Wriggle. This involves wriggling (obviously) accompanied by a sort of side to side shuffle.
2) Putting the feet higher than the floor, can be achieved by using a handy pack of toilet rolls (preferably 9 rolls or more)
3) Grasping the ankles in each hand and pulling backwards (I can't do a diagram, probably just as well)
4)Eye popping straining, accompanied by various noises and/or swearing, depending on who might hear.

So, as someone who has previously been at almost Olympic level for speed and effiency, what on earth has gone wrong?

glassortwo Tue 26-Apr-16 20:26:12

Think you need weetabix for breakfast grin

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:26:44

I think it's an ageing thing. (sorry!) Food doesn't go through so quickly and so the poo gets dry and hard.

(discuss anything me)

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:27:13

Chocolate is good. Actually, anything sweet.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:28:04

I often wonder how things go for the Queen in that department.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Apr-16 20:28:19

Well, not often!

glassortwo Tue 26-Apr-16 20:29:23

Coffee works for keeping things shuffling along wink

phoenix Tue 26-Apr-16 20:33:02

jings grin It's not actually dry & hard, just my bottom seems to decide to pause halfway through the process!

Falconbird Tue 26-Apr-16 20:49:06

I find coughing helps a lot, pushes things through and stops straining. grin

Tizliz Tue 26-Apr-16 20:59:23

Prunes, they are really nice and do work. Just don't have too many to start you have to find the right level. Tescos are good

Nannyjay68 Tue 26-Apr-16 21:07:50

Rock back and forward,I find that helps speed things up.

Regalo Tue 26-Apr-16 21:23:59

Sorry Phoeix...can't respond for laughing!!
Seriously though, same problem here...used to be jet propelled but now.......!

aggie Tue 26-Apr-16 21:32:07

You need more "roughage " and more fluids as you get older , maybe take a book in and relax , not War and Peace , something lighter smile

Jane10 Tue 26-Apr-16 21:34:29

Drink more? Oranges are pretty helpful too. I once had a very oblique discussion with a doctor when I was pregnant - he asked 'do the trains pass through the station or do they remain stuck on the platform'!

Crafting Tue 26-Apr-16 21:47:32

Phoenix same problem here. You might have a rectocele (look it up). Poo gets sort of trapped in a pocket and needs a bit more oomph to get it out. Do NOT do any of the things you mentioned above (I've done them too...except for the loo roll thing). Straining makes it worse. Do not get constipated. You need more liquid and more fibre. Lots of Rasins (recommended by colorectal surgeon) and bran. As mentioned before coffee can help stimulate things but more liquid is a must. I can't believe I'm talking about this on GN blush but I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made. Unlike having a baby... Do not push!!! You have been warned. Carry on straining and your insides may become your outsides.......sad

Charleygirl Tue 26-Apr-16 21:54:34

As others have said, more fibre and liquids. You cannot be eating your 5 a day.

Envious Tue 26-Apr-16 22:08:10

I agree with crafting possible rectocele but I don't mean to be looking for trouble! I'm a nurse and we both are speaking from experience!

phoenix Tue 26-Apr-16 22:14:18

Thanks for the responses all! Just to reiterate, not constipated, just a slight (!) problem with "going".

I've always been " regular " , cup of tea first thing, then a cup of coffee after my shower, then bingo! Off to the loo and job done!

Only lately had the "stuck" problem blush

Elegran Tue 26-Apr-16 22:34:23

If it is only lately then perhaps you should see the GP to investigate what is different now.

Nelliemoser Tue 26-Apr-16 22:45:17

Coffee is thought to not be so good as it acts as a diuretic rather than hydrating your insides.
Those ready to eat dried figs work but you must take enough liquid with you meals.
Also take notice of medical advice and see your doctor if there is a change in bowel habit.
My mum had terrible problems with constipation, but I have generally been OK.

I did get into trouble when taking strong pain killers after I had my frayed arm tendons repaired.

Granny23 Tue 26-Apr-16 22:49:22

I think I have developed a bend or change in direction halfway along the passage way. Procedure now is to sit towards the front of the toilet seat, lean forward and puuuuush, take in a deep breath, lean back and puuuuuuuush. Repeat as necessary. Works for me. blush

Crafting Tue 26-Apr-16 22:56:35

Phoenix I wasn't constipated either but had exactly the same problem as you and no amount of wriggling or shuffling would shift it!! You don't need to be constipated to have a rectocele (as usual age and gravity take their toll on our bits). I am not saying you have one but whatever the problem, constipated or not....rasins, roughage and liquid is really worth a try.

harrigran Tue 26-Apr-16 23:00:06

If you have not had this before and you are concerned seek medical advice. I had an episode like this whilst I was on holiday in August and went on to have a condition that required treatment, it was probably a symptom but I did not realise at first.

Crafting Tue 26-Apr-16 23:05:02

Yup Granny23 done that too and it does work for a while. Pushing and straining is bad for you believe me. Squatting is supposed to be the best position. Not tried it myself..I'd never be able to get up again.

Crafting Tue 26-Apr-16 23:24:39

Ok Phoenix you have the collective GN answer to your problems. Whip up a smoothie of weetabix, chocolate, prunes, oranges, dried figs, rasins and bran. Slug it down with loads of coffee then head off to the loo whilst coughing violently and sit there rocking away whilst reading War and Peace.....if all that doesn't work, phone the Queen for advice ????

P.S. You might need that 9 pack of toilet rolls if you try this grin