Downsizing

Sorry, for the few word errors, I really must start reading back what I write before I post.

Been some time since I first posted. I have read all your comments and have made a list of what I would and wouldn't like in my new home. However, I have had health problems, quite out of the blue. My normal busy life crammed with activities and looking after house and garden has been on hold. I found myself despairing of getting fit enough to cope, would I get my fitness back. The last few months have taught me several things, that everyone you know after the initial illness, soon gets back to their busy lives. Getting people in to do the jobs I usually did, was problematic to say the least, I had to lower my standards quite a lot. I realized I now would not be able to manage here if I gave problems again, for I am now able to get around much easier and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I do not want to live with all elderly people, so haveto think along the lines of something more manageable, I wish I had done this when first widowed but was in pieces somewhat fir some time. It has taught me, my family are busy with their own families and there for real emergencies, but really it's all down to me. So now I am back to looking with ernest, even wondering if I should sell up and rent whilst looking.

Well, I'm only downsizing to the end of the garden but I do wish DH would learn how to do as he's told compromise.

My wife and I are both in our 70' s we live in a4 bed chalet type and we are going to downsize and are finding it difficult to find the right place we have made a list of our requirments but know we will have to ompromise allong the way .

Funny old thread this. It must be psychic! DH and I have just had a heated row discussion about a skip!!

I'm de-cluttering like crazy and there's a LOT. He thinks we don't need one - I say we DO. He doesn't drive. I've already sent two van loads of stuff down to our local EMMAUS. They are my saviours! DH would be quite happy to sit on his backside while I make endless trips in the car to the recycling centre to get rid of the stuff that EMMAUS can't sell.

In his dreams

I downsized a month before my 60th birthday from a good-sized 4-bed suburban house with a long garden to a 2-bed end terrace in a large and friendly village which now calls itself a small town, not far from Manchester and its suburbs. When I planned to move, DS1 came and helped me to fill three skips and, after 15 years, is about to return and de-clutter because, as he knows, I am an inveterate hoarder. I can rely on him to be ruthless!

We downsized 8 years ago today coincidentally. There was indeed the plethora of documentation needed that Falcon and Petra mentioned, and as we were selling off (separately) a large parcel of land for a proposed housing development that only added to the fun.

I doubt we will move again. If the garden gets too much then I'll fence off the majority and 'Give Nature a Home'.

But just on the off chance, learning by experience, I gave a big, fire-proof box, and every last certificate and receipt for work done on the house simply gets bunged in there.

That's so true Petra. I was exhausted by the demands of the Estate Agent. I had to find proof of word worm treatment going back years plus proof of other work done on the house. I had to do some of the photocopying as well. He asked me repeatedly about Japanese Knot Weed and never gave me a minutes peace.

The Solicitor was also constantly on my mobile asking me for information he should have had on file. I spent hours talking to him about things I think he should have dealt with on his own to be honest.

I had to pay a structural engineer to do a survey on the back of the house because there were some cracks in it and to also examine the Leylandi trees in case the roots had got into the drains.

I was advised to clear out the attic, which I did and it all cost money.

The last time I moved (some 20 plus years ago) I did have my OH to help me but times have certainly changed from then, when we just sold it to someone and lowered the price a bit to accommodate any work that needed to be done.

I last moved 13 months ago. I have moved 7 times in the last 35 years (one move abroad )
For those of you that haven't moved for many years you will see a big difference in the legal process. It's so time consuming / petty/ frustrating.
IE, when was your double glazing put in, do you have the certificate for that, same with your extension / loft conversion. Exactly what are you leaving, down to the plants in the garden. We were asked 4 times if we had Japanese knot weed, we lived on the second floor of the building.
And for those of you that have a lease, start sorting it now. We had 80 odd years to go on ours and we were told that it wasn't long enough. We got a good deal on ours (£8,000) to extend to 100 years.

I'm a bit mixed. We live in a house which was always too small with family and visitors. Now it's just about right but it's aging. The central heating when installed I was told it would see me out but British Gas are determined to undermine my confidence. Like wise the garden, absolutely gorgeous spring and summer, even autumn but DH always refuses my suggestion of a gardener every week . I have help in the house but I always have had mainly because we both worked from home part time and DH has never helped while working. He does a lot more now. DH says he doesn't want DD2 to be responsible for us although she already has POA. In place. I would love to live near her, in a biggish flat, on a top floor with lift and pick up the DGSs for tea every night, then for her to pick them up after work and take them home. Bliss I would see three of my favourite people .

Sounds excellent Twice. We found early/mid 60s a good time to move as we were active enough to join clubs etc and make new friends. In our case we didn't move far enough to loose old friends either. The best of both worlds.

Good plan twice! It should work out very well for you.

I am 62 currently renting a 3 bed semi and still working full time. I am on my own as recently divorced. It's not a problem at the moment as the landlord has dealt very promptly with 2 problems which arose regarding house maintenance and I drive . I have just put a deposit down on a flat to be near my girls which will be ready in approx 15 months time, I have bought it just at the off plan stage and it is on the same housing development the girls live in, I will be only about 100 yards from them in distance. If I decide to give up my car at some point there is a bus service into the nearest town for shops, banks, and GP at the bottom of the road. I have lived in my area all my life but am not worried about relocating I know some of the area from regular visiting and of course I have the advantage of being so near my daughters and grandchildren and they are very supportive of me and looking forward to me being here so I am very lucky. I intend to still do some part- time work when I get here as I will only have a modest pension and my state pension can't be claimed until I am 64 . I am already in the position that I've only kept the things I really wanted when I divorced and have bought new furniture which will also fit into the flat. I see this as a very positive move for me and I'm sure I can make some new friends. My old friends know my plans I'll continue to visit them and they me.

This is a subject very close to my heart as I had to move when I was widowed 3 years ago. At 68 I thought about retirement flats but since then I've heard that they can be quite lonely (although safe if one is taken ill) because the residents are inclined to form cliques. Also I didn't feel quite old enough for that option although I know people of my age who have done it.

In the end I settled for an apartment near my middle son. It's really nice and easy to maintain. I'm easily the oldest person in the block but I've started to talk to some of the other residents, some renters, some owners.

It's on the ground floor and really close to shops, a library, a doctor etc.,
I don't have a garden but there is some open space at the back with shrubs etc., and there is a lovely park 10mins walk away.

From the point of view of maintenance - I have had a flood in the bathroom and and a leaky shower drain, but compared to my old house which was Victorian - it hasn't been a real problem.

I might well move again in a few years time but Luckylegs9 go with your heart. I knew within minutes that my flat was the best place for me and nearly a year later I still feel quite content

merlotgran 2 hours away is a very long way if/when daily visits or emergency visits are required which they might well be as time goes on. Don't just think of yourselves here. I'm speaking as one who has been the D and DiL and had to make these visits. I was very glad my M and MiL were fairly close. Don't just hope for the best and that neighbours will want the responsibility that you just might become. I sincerely hope you won't but just want to highlight a different thing to think about when downsizing. Don't wait for a crisis.

I am 67 this year and am considering downsizing. my husband wants to retire soon, and to buy a house which is virtually isolated. He is looking at houses deep in the countryside as he want lots of privacy. He is a naturist. I like it here where I live now and am not keen on moving. All the upset of moving will be hard for me as I am somewhat disabled with arthritis. Also, when I worked, I wore quite expensive clothes and have two wardrobes full of them. I don't use many of them now but don't know what to do with them. I have given many to a charity, but feel that the ones I still have are very good and it grieves me to just give them away. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do with them? I have been reading this thread with great interest as I am hoping that it will help me to make a decision as to what to do next. Any and all suggestions will be very welcome. I do agree with the writer who is not sure about management fees or site owners fees in home parks and sheltered accommodation. They can be a bit unpredictable in terms of price hikes.

I would stay put, pk. You can't put too high a value on good friends and neighbours. As you say, your grandchildren will grow up and leave home and your child might decide to move.

Do you have plenty of room for them to visit?

Two hours is not very far away.

You'll make new friends. We've certainly been lucky with our neighbours. Your DD will surely help with initial socialising. Actually most people are nice, we only tend to hear the bad stories as they are the 'newsworthy' ones. In the end its up to you. A friendly approach goes a long way. Its an adventure starting up a new life. Go for it!

Our only child lives in Oxfordshire and want us to move to be near them before we get too old. I love our house and neighbours and all the friends we have made over the years. My husband is keen to move whilst I'm more reluctant. The distance between Essex and Oxfordshire is 2 hrs by car on a good day.

We don't mind downsizing and did some research. We love the villages but they only have one or two shops. We put our house on the market but never got a buyer offering the price we wanted. Then due to health reasons had to shelf moving for a while.

The question I ask everyone. Is it wise to move so far from where you have lived for 40 years to somewhere new. Will it be easier to make friends, etc.
Grandchildren are getting older and will fly the nest one day. Will our only child decide to move somewhere else. They say wherever they go we go.

By the way we are in our mid 60's and is good health.

Do it while you're fit and strong. That way it'll be your choice rather than a necessity and with less time to think about it. Unfortunately I know of too many people who left it just too late. Don't be left in a large old house which is expensive to maintain and heat and at the mercy of 'carers'. Make informed choices now. I'm so glad we did. We are very happy in our flat (with lift!). Don't leave it accidentally too late is all I'm saying.

I realised when I retired that downsizing would be something I would have to face in the future .I'm on my own in a 3 bed Victorian semi with a good size garden and my only son lives abroad.
This post has really helped me understand the problems as none of my friends really understand what a big decision this is. At 64 I'm fit and healthy so not ready for a move yet but the time will come when this is too much to manage but what next?
I am very good at procrastination and will probably leave it too long but I am cheered that 70 seems to be the age to do it ,whoopee 6 years before the dreaded decision day.

It took us two years to 'de-clutter'! We moved from an extended four bedroom family home on the outskirts of Norwich. The cost of keeping up a large house with rooms largely unused and keeping on top of the gardening was becoming a drain. We loved the house and the garden even more but, although we were in a suburb we needed to go by car to the shops, doctor etc. and many friends were moving - or dying off so we decided to move while we were still active enough to build up a new social life.

it also took two years to narrow down where we wanted to live taking into account distance from friends/family/pastimes as well as local amenities. It came down to three market towns further out from Norwich. We are now within easy walking distance of everything we need and rarely go into Norwich - or even have to face large supermarket shops very often. It did take a bit of re-acclimatisation and several times in the first few months I found myself heading home in the wrong direction!

I can recommend life in a market town but apparently it's very popular as I read not long ago that house prices average 30% higher! We certainly gained no extra money by our move but running costs on a smaller house and shopping locally has greatly reduced our monthly bills. There's a lot to consider before a move but I don't regret it for a moment.

We have decided to downsize ,started the process 12 months ago and are now awaiting a completion date on a move to a delightful but much smaller bungalow.I have been decluttering for months which has been great very cathartic and mostly I feel positive just a little terrified. I have such memories of this family home of 40 years which we built and extended to accommodate our growing family,but time moves on and they all have homes of their own and releasing some cash and having the prospect t of less maintenance seems like the best way forward.wish me luck I just hope it all goes through now.

We are in our late 60s and downsized recently.Like any move it was stressful but the end result has been marvellous. First, in the process we got rid of loads of stuff we didn't need and passed it on to other people who did want it - using charity shops, freecycle, and personal contacts, and the dustbin. The new house is smaller but in a much better condition than our previous 1880s home.
About finding a new home you have to tackle the quest seriously and i'd recommend that you get a good local agent to handle your sale and tell the agent that unless he/she can find a new home for you, you won't be moving.
Someone else here suggested you make a list of criteria for the new place and I agree you should do that and rank the criteria in order of importance. What matters to you - nice kitchen, so many bedrooms, large living room, a garden or whatever?
If you are on your own you do need help - find a younger friend who will act as a sounding board, look at your shortlisted homes, help you to get rid of stuff. But if you do that, and you pick the right person, then do listen to what they have to say.
Your point about moving while still in charge is very important. You are still able to make the decisions.
Something I'd suggest is telling the agent and the buyer and your solicitor that you will need more than the usual four weeks between exchange of contracts and completion. That's a very short time and you will have a lot more to do than a person who is upsizing in vigorous middle age!
Good luck. When you've moved you'll say "What a relief - I should have done it ten years ago."

I can really see the problem with a one bedroom flat nanakate. Even on your own, with no outside space, garage or shed I would think a second bedroom would make a big difference.

One of my friends has looked at Park Homes and some of them look delightful. My worry with them is they have a bad reputation for their leases. I have often wondered if, as they can be built quickly, they could help with both our housing and ageing problem.