Group holidays and money: who really pays?

As an aside I once went on holiday with a friend. Both of us had two children each. She was intent on splitting every thing exactly down to the last penny and her constant running total was irritating. The absolute limit came when we packed up to go home. She took the washing up sponge, wiped all round the sink, then the toilet, then cut it in half and offered me my share!

I am so excited as we are going on our first whole family holiday, since the bairns were wee, in October. We had a home made Christmas last year and the money we saved has paid for an all inclusive week in Malta. As it is all inclusive it will just be extras that have to be paid for, things like scuba diving and whoever does them can pay for that. I fully intend to spend the time by the pool with my book and granddaughter while the rest do the adventuring!

DH and I take our 3 DGC on a caravan holiday at least twice a year plus a few weekend breaks where possible. I have never asked for (or indeed been offered) any kind of contribution from their parents. DH and I pay for everything including food, entertainment and spending money.

Several years ago when my mum was in better health , DH and I used to take her and dad with us on our annual holiday. We split almost everything in half. Food, outings, car hire etc. The only thing that bugged me was that we often wanted to do different things but we were the only drivers and mum being in a wheelchair it wasn't really possible.
I remember once going to the local tavern for lunch and getting plastered a bit tiddly, falling into a deep sleep at about 5pm. My mum and dad had been hammering the apartment door down all night waiting to be "took out" for their evening meal (DH and I were dead to the world) and my parents didn't have the common sense/confidence/call it what you will, to just do something on their own without us. I think that might have been the beginning of the end of our holidays with them.

I also remember a time (I'm on a role now) that DH and my dad went for a walk along the beach. At dinner, DH told mum and I that they had met a Cypriot air hostess on the beach and had chatted to her for almost an hour about Cyprus. My (very jealous) mum went into a mega huff and banned my dad from any more walks with DH !

MaryXYX- we also use our timeshare to exchange, and guests we take always assume we have it for free (eg not aware of yearly maintenance costs and exchange fee...) - but never had the heart to tell them;)

Depends so much on the situation. We've organised 50+ group holidays over the years for students, friends, families and a mixture of all- including skiing holidays. With large groups, we've always gone for all inclusive option and everyone pays their own costs, depending on need (for skiing for instance, some make their own way by car, others fly + transfer, some need lessons, some need to hire skis, boards and or boots, etc, and some do not ski but come for the scenery and company). With close family, again, that depends. If someone in the family is going through a bad patch, their cost is taken by others, if we have a windfall or for v special occasions (like OH's 70th next year) - we will pay for all- but others will make sure to chip in with special meals out or in other ways.

When we go with another couple, we take it in turn to pay for meals and petrol, and keep receipts, and make a quick tally at the end to make sure there is no great disparity. Sometimes we have a kitty where we each put £100 and use this for all expenses and put more in when necessary. It all works out in the end.

For guests here at home, as we live abroad- we have a 1 - 2 - 3 rule which everybody likes and adheres to- we cook the first night, we go out and go Dutch the second, they cook the 3rd, and so on, more or less. It's brilliant as we all muck in and there is no resentment or embarrassment re being a slave to guests or a burden.

Just come back from a week in France with elderly father. We each put 100 euros in a kitty for incidental expenses. I paid for everything on a card, most meals in the evenings, accommodation petrol etc and the ferry. At the end we divided all expenses by three, but dad insisted he would pay over a third of the accommodation bill as hotels charge the same for a double room with one person in it as they do for two people.

We try to have a short break each year with our two DC and their families . It now totals 10 of us plus an old Labrador who has to be included ,and we are finding it harder to find suitable accomodation at a price we can manage as it now has to be in the dreaded extortionate school holidays .My DH and I now are both retired and cannot afford to pay for all now. Both our DC and families are struggling with living costs and would not be able to afford to pay their way and have their own holidays as well, so I think it will be just "Day's Out " in the future !

This will be Year 5 of our whole family 1 week on Barra holidays. We will spilt the costs as we have always done - hire of cottage split equally 3 ways between DH & Me, DD+2DGC, DD+SIL+1DGC. We pay for our car on the ferry and DDs pay for 1 car + the extra passengers. Kitty covers shopping, swimming pool, petrol and meals out. Folk take their own favourite tipple or 'must have' food with them. Never a cross word between us.

I suppose it's like everything else , the 'rules' need to be sorted before you go. Then, if someone wants to treat the others they can do. It's all about communication.

We went away with seven other members of DH's family once - all adults. There was no sharing of costs involved though - I dread to think what chaos would have ensued if there had been! They couldn't agree about anything for ten whole days! When our grandson was pre-school, we would pay for a cottage and invite DD and co along to share it. Now, with costs prohibitive during the school holidays, if we go with them we will split the cost of the accommodation and share some food costs. It usually works out okay. Next year, as it is a special year for us, we have already booked and paid for a large house by the sea so that both our children and their respective families can have a week away with us. This has, of necessity, had to be in the school holidays. I expect we will share some costs and I hope that such arrangements will be on an amicable basis! With my two, you never know!

Nice to see several new (?) names posting.

If we're going away with friends it usually works out 50-50 and fair all round.

If going away with family somehow we seem to end up out of pocket! Soft touches I suppose, but we don't really mind.

We holidayed in a large group when the children were young and in their teens. We paid our own car/ferry/camping fees, if we hired a house we split the cost according to the number of people in each family. We had a very efficient kitty system for buying food and shared cooking/clearing up equally. The children are long grown and gone but many of the same group of adults meet up twice a year, sometimes for a week, but always for long weekends - same rules apply.

Spidergran's point about the difference in alcohol consumption was addressed years ago, we have a sliding scale, agreed by everyone. I'm in category 3, the lowest as I only have one glass a wine - others are in category 1, I'll say nothing about their enjoyment levels

We used to holiday with friends and share accomodation etc half each but as they drank excessively and I don't drink at all and husband every little, we decided meals out we would pay our own bills..then one night they had 3 expensive bottles of wine added to our bill by mistake which we paid in the packed restaurant to avoid embarrassment. Outside when we asked for reimbursement they laughed it off as just one of those holiday things and refused to cough up . Needless to say we no longer choose them as holiday companions!

Just been away with our family, (5 children, spouses and 5 GC all under 4), we paid the deposit and totally for the children's rooms. They then paid the cost for their room. We get first choice of bedroom! Shopping costs were
split equally. We went out twice with the couples with no children, that was split equally, DH and I babysat for all 5 DGC one night, and all of us went out one night, the other three nights we all mucked in to create lovely in-villa meals. Alcohol was equally split, we all like a drink!, They all paid their airfares etc but I paid up front early to get cheaper costs. They paid us what they owed when they chose, and for some when we got to the villa. So we had no exchange rates to pay.
In the past when we have rented large houses in the UK, we have paid for the house, but all the food is then split between the 'children'. Each couple (except us) cooked their signature dish one night, we have a takeaway one night and a catered meal one night. We go out on our own one night. As do the other couples in pairs or alone, so not everyone is in on 6 nights. Works a treat! Whilst some could afford to pay towards the accommodation, some would find it a stretch. We just love having all of them together with plenty of bathrooms and usually two lounges/ games room. The grandchildren are getting to know one another well too, that is important for all of us. They then all go on another holiday together, as do we (several times). We are just enjoying it while we can.

Thanks Grannyactivist for pointing out list of acronyms. I usually try and work them out. Notice from the list that the in laws don't usually get a dear or a darling. Shame.

I have a timeshare on a canal boat and I take a few friends for a week in the Summer. I don't expect any contribution towards the ongoing "maintenance" fees. I'm likely to use my car and provide transport too.

The costs of the week are the £100 to £150 for fuel and "more maintenance" plus food for self catering and the odd pub visit and meal. I hope the other members will share these costs, but one of the regulars is on disability, and another is recovering from a stay in hospital and has no income. Two less regulars are on long term sick benefit. I do pick 'em don't I!

Scroll to top of the page and the furthest box on the right, 'acronyms', will tell you all you need to know yggdrasil.

Where is your list of abbreviations? Most of those posts were totally incomprehensible to one who doesn't know the jargon.

We've had a couple of holidays with one child & family, we paid our flights & all other expenses were shared equally. Housekeeping money in a separate purse, it all worked out fine.

Other child was once invited to join friend's family holiday, that family consisted of only child, two parents & aunt and uncle.

We were presented with an itemised bill in advance which included our child's share of villa hire, car hire, projected fuel costs and estimated food bill. In addition they suggested an amount of spending money to include eating out and any entertainment. What they had done was reduce the cost for all of the adults in the party.

They are still friends but it left a sour taste.

When we returned the invitation the following year all we asked for was the cost of the flight.

Nowt so queer as folk!

We often go with DD, DSIL and DGC. Half the cost of the Gite, each pay for own car crossing. We used to take it in turns to pay for meals out, but after my DH retired, we agreed to pay for our own meals. Still share the shopping though. Its come full circle really. When we first went, and they were just starting out, we paid most, now they pay most because they're both earning.

If we book a house for a family holiday then we pay for it but DC have to get themselves there whether it is by road/ferry or plane.
We pay for meals out and day to day groceries but activities for GC are paid for by their parents.
The kind of holiday homes we rent are never cheap and I wouldn't expect contributions from others.
We have been on holiday with DS and family and he has paid for the house because it was his choice of venue.

I go on holiday with a combination of my family and friends.
The big stuff is always paid for evenly across the board.
The little stuff, such as taxis etc, is paid by one person. And next time/day, the next person pays etc. And it normally evens out near enough by the end of the break.
re the financial situation of everyone. We dont always accurate ly know each others' financial situation, so it is assumed that if you are going, you are aware of the financial costs, and dont go if you cannot afford it.

I go on holidays with my daughters and some of the grandchildren we each pay our way for flights and hotel and we take turns with meals and outings it works for us.

Years ago when the DC were small we went on holiday with friends twice. Both times we shared a house in France and went by ferry. We each paid for our car and shared the cost of the house. We had a kitty for food and split meals out ? We never argued and had a good time. I have since been for a weekend away with them on my own since I divorced and we split everything in the hotel two thirds and a third, took it in turns buying coffee etc out and we went in their car and I paid the petrol for the return journey, no arguments again, lovely weekend. I now go for a weeks holiday renting a house again in France with both daughters, partners and grandchildren. We all pay for part of the holiday, tally it up at the end and it's adjusted when we get home, everyone pays a fair share. No arguments lovely holiday. It can be done just have to take the right people. Just arranging holiday for second year with close friend. We pay half each and take it in turn to buy extras like coffee and lunch out, taxi to pick up point etc, it all works out in the end. I love going with all the different people.

Sometimes we rent a largish cottage or house and invite family along - as its our invite we pay and they usually bring some food and drinks and pay for the odd coffee and cake while we are out. DH is always first at the bar when it comes to paying - nice man.