Should I move to USA

A couple of things occur to me but the principal one is healthcare.
Could you afford it?
Could you afford to fly back to see any special friends?
What if your son and family move to a different part of the US?
You don’t say how old/mobile/fit you are. Would you be willing and able to drive there, thus maintaining a degree of independence?
Others may disagree with me but I have resisted pressure from our Ds since I was widowed to move nearer to them (I am at present halfway, 1 1/2 hours roughly in either direction) bMy thinking was that I am “me” here, not somebody’s mum or granny. I would hate for my life to revolve around them and much as I would love us all to live nearer each other, that’s not going to happen!
Do think of what you are giving up as well as what you are gaining. But ultimately it has to be your own decision.

Good advice Maw

Being practical your state pension will not increase and what about medical insurance?

Whether you want to or not you would spend a fair amount of time with them because you would not know anybody.

I have never had to make that choice but I would not do it as I am comfortable in my own home and have a pleasant social life.

It sounds as though you have a pleasant life where you live with your little cat enjoying the same home comforts!

I had two friends over 60 who wanted to move to the states and simply couldn't afford the health insurance which was mandatory.. Perhaps check that first...

I would suggest that you stay where you are if you are comfortable. Your son and possibly his wife may well be out at work all day and the children at school.

I think that most of us need our friends as well as our families.

I endorse everything Rosie'sMaw and Charleygirl have said.
From the sound of it, you are content in the life that you have now, so why risk leaving that behind in pursuit of that mythical "grass that's always greener".
I acknowledge that you may sometimes regret the absence of your son and his family but we bring up our children to be self reliant and independent people and then proudly send them off to make their way in the world as your son has done.
Thanks to WhatsApp and Zoom, you can still be closely involved in each other's lives if you want to be and, no doubt, there will be visits in both directions.
Stay where you know you're happy!
.

I personally wouldn’t move I’ve been in the past invited by my son and family in NZ but a) I don’t want to start a new life, mines far from perfect but it’s mine, and that’s so important b) I don’t think parents should move just to be near children in older age if they have a decent life where they are. I wouldn’t want to burden them and however much we think we won’t we will need to be helped
As others have said you ll need a bottomless purse for healthcare in US

A work colleague moved to the US to live with family. To begin with when they were relatively fit and healthy it was fine. They left many friends here in the UK and found it very difficult to integrate into a community in the US.

However they have now returned to the UK as they could no longer afford healthcare insurance/co payments/ medication.
Returning here has been pretty disastrous too as they have nowhere to live/not much money left to buy a property/ friends who are still alive have moved on etc etc.

Think very carefully before you make such a momentous decision.

I agree with RosiesMaw too. If I were you I would look at maybe staying with him for three months of the year and see how you like it. Is he worried that you are here alone, with no support structure?

I lived there for nearly three years for work and a lot depends on the part of the States you would be moving to as the states are each very different. I love travelling so was surprised how much I missed simple things like changing seasons and being able to walk about without driving everywhere.

I agree with BlueBelle I don't think the only reason to move should be proximity to your children, things can change very quickly. If your family had to move for whatever reason that would leave you high and dry.
I would consider the pros and cons very carefully Bunty I had the opportunity of moving to USA but it really wasn't for me.

Let's start with the very basics: do you have green card or US citizenship?

I think that you do get state pension increase in the USA Charleygirl.

stay where you are!

Ah, thanks Calendargirl. I thought I was 100% certain I was right but obviously wrong!

Scribbles

I endorse everything Rosie'sMaw and Charleygirl have said.
From the sound of it, you are content in the life that you have now, so why risk leaving that behind in pursuit of that mythical "grass that's always greener".
I acknowledge that you may sometimes regret the absence of your son and his family but we bring up our children to be self reliant and independent people and then proudly send them off to make their way in the world as your son has done.
Thanks to WhatsApp and Zoom, you can still be closely involved in each other's lives if you want to be and, no doubt, there will be visits in both directions.
Stay where you know you're happy!
.

I agree with these comments. Medical care is outrageously expensive and your State pension will be frozen at its present value whatever happens to inflation.

We have just done this. We move to join our daughter and her husband and our early two grandchildren. So if you want some advice then please PM me and I’ll be happy to offer it. We have had to jump some hurdles but everything, although time-consuming, is not as tedious, as you might think.

An old friend of DH’s died in 2001 - his wife had no living relatives here, had never been on a plane or held a passport.
Her first flight and only flight was to move to live with her only child, a daughter of 40 and her husband living in Melbourne, Australia.
Originally, she helped look after their dogs and horses, joined a choir and did some handicrafts at an OAP centre, as she’d done in Durham.

Now in her 90’s, she’s not in the best of health, but very thankful that she took the step to relocate.

*I think her DD had to accept legal responsibility for her, but nothing as complicated as moving to the USA would be.

I spent a year working in the USA (mid 40s) but all health aspects (including full medical insurance) were covered by the uni which employed me.

I was based in Nevada where people are pretty laid back. So far as making new friends I found that very easy because of how friendly and inclusive most Americans are compared with Brits. And of course I had a ready made social network via the university. There is a lot about American life and values which I admire and I would have been happy to work there for a few more years. However its not a country I would wish to retire to because of the high cost of health insurance. As other posters have warned this is likely to be your main problem.

How lovely that your son and family want you to live with them. I think it's a question of weighing up the pros and cons. Have you stayed with them before and got to know the area? Are you good at making new friends? Can you adapt to a different culture?
I uprooted myself from the UK and immigrated to Canada. I rented my house which boosts my income. I stayed with family initially and then bought an apartment close by. I don't drive here. Public transit works well for me along with an occasional cab. I felt like a fish out of water to begin with! It took me a couple of years to tune in to the different culture. I joined several groups and gradually made some good friends . I enjoy helping with CG and love seeing them grow up. I love living here. I return every 2 years to visit friends and family. Hope that helps.

Ooh, no! It's lovely that they've asked you, but it would be such an upheaval, and then there's the medical costs if you get ill.

Why not suggest that you go over there to visit them for an extended stay each year, maybe 6 weeks in the Winter to escape the cold here, depending on where they are in the USA?

I think I sounded more negative than I meant to. There are a hundred things for you to think about to make a move like that, and it's not clear from your post what you know about where you would live, or your family situation. Do you drive, will you be able to get about in America? Are the other family here in a position to support you if need be if you stay? Is it possible for you to have an extended visit to your son to get to know the area where he lives? How independent are you generally, and how independent would you have to be? Would you like living in your son's home?

I lived in the US for nearly 3 years, spending time in both California and New York (with a few lovely excursions along the way). I met lots of very wonderful people from all over the US who welcomed me into their homes and lives, some of whom are still friends. I had colleagues who moved their families out and were very happy and are still there. I would very happily go back and spend more time there but at the end of the day I found I missed too much that I love about home, which rather surprised me. I wouldn't let having to fill in forms put me off, even though I hate doing it, especially if you have family members who can help. Your son will probably be able to guide you through what you need to do anyway.

Sorry this is a bit long - I suppose I am trying to say in my very long-winded way that you should think through the pros and cons very carefully and talk to your son to help clarify what your future life might be like. Let him know your concerns too. Good luck.

Is he your only child OP?

Grantanow

Scribbles

I endorse everything Rosie'sMaw and Charleygirl have said.
From the sound of it, you are content in the life that you have now, so why risk leaving that behind in pursuit of that mythical "grass that's always greener".
I acknowledge that you may sometimes regret the absence of your son and his family but we bring up our children to be self reliant and independent people and then proudly send them off to make their way in the world as your son has done.
Thanks to WhatsApp and Zoom, you can still be closely involved in each other's lives if you want to be and, no doubt, there will be visits in both directions.
Stay where you know you're happy!
.

I agree with these comments. Medical care is outrageously expensive and your State pension will be frozen at its present value whatever happens to inflation.

The UK has a reciprocal arrangement with the USA, I think, so Bunty would get increases.

Oddly, this is not the case in Australia or New Zealand.