HildajenniJ - note janerowena and nellymosers comments about being in two different choirs - there ARE two (and more) different sorts of choirs. Thanks janerowena and nellymosers for your posts.
I feel your longing, HildajenniJ, and so I say, search for a choir and choir leader that suits you. I lived in a rural area in Wales when my children were growing up, and no hope of anything other than church music and serious choral society music, which I had grown up with. I love singing beautiful sacred music SOME of the time but I am a humanist so I can't hack it ALL of the time.
Then, wow, a new music teacher arrived at my daughters' rural comprehensive. He was an early Gareth Malone. He turned the school music scene upside down, while still respecting classical and church traditions. But still no chance, then, about 25 years ago, of a Gareth Malone type experience for me.
Now, though, I am in a large town and there are lots of opportunities and different styles of choirs spring up almost every month, it seems. New-style music teachers, choir leaders and choirs are co-existing with old-style choral societies, male voice choirs etc. All equally wonderful and we all meet up at festivals of song every year. I've been doing this for 5 years now, the first 6 months, were strange, challenging, but exciting.
I suggest you check out Gareth Malone online, and search locally online for a Gareth Malone type choir leader or community choir (if that's what would suit you) or any sort of choral group that might interest you - Country and Western, Georgian chanting, Gospel, Madrigal, whatever!
I know its difficult in rural areas - we used to say in deepest rural Wales, that if you can get three other people to come to a a meeting its a success. But you might be surprised. I heard recently that someone here advertised to start a choir in a local suburb (lots of new houses) and about 90 people turned up!
Go for it and let us know how you are progressing. Put a message in your local paper or any other local media, or talk to neighbours, friends, community workers, local councillors. There is support out there, you don't have to be a front line leader, just someone to start up a conversation, with the possibility of singing for pleasure (and we feel so good afterwards, I believe it might be something to do with endorphins?)