Son's Marriage

Well, the one thing you must do is make yourself look as gorgeous as you possibly can. Start saving for the most expensive, and most flattering, outfit that you can find. On the day make sure your hair is looking good and put on the best makeup you can do. And get some nice high-ish heeled shoes. Doesn't matter if that means a slight stagger Perhaps they had better be reasonably comfortable, but you can charity shop them after the day. Spare no expense.

You need to shine!

Go girl!

If you are really going to be panic stricken in such a way that it spoils your day, go to the doc's and ask for a couple of tranquilisers to see you through.

Congratulations Lin1959 I'm sure you will be fine on the day. Make sure you are looking great in a splendid new outfit (as groom's mother it might be a courtesy to check what colour mother of the bride will be wearing before you go shopping). As regards the ex most families go through this at some point. Just concentrate on the happy couple and your side of the family, be polite to the ex's but you don't have to spend lots of time with them. I'm sure you can have a quiet word early on about the seating arrangements so you are not thrown together, everyone will understand.

Stand tall and smile, smile, smile! Since you like trousers and tops, go for a fabulous coat or jacket over smart trousers or plain dress (for coats /jackets, try East or Hobbs, or if you can afford it, Beatrice von Tresckow. You may be lucky and find them hardly worn on Ebay). Otherwise, everything as above. And congratulations!

I agree, get out there in as posh an outfit as you can bear, whatever it may be (as long as you feel good in it) and smile all day - for your son. I too am dreading the day when DD and partner tie the knot, I keep on trying to persuade them to disappear to the Seychelles or something and tell me when it's over!

It's only a few hours but the most important thing, don't forget, your son wants his Mum there. Please don't allow anyone to intimidate you and spoil this special day for you and your son.

Look online for ideas for an outfit, congratulations and enjoy the day.

Most towns have a frock exchange where you can pick up a fab frock and often the bits like bags, hats, shoes to go with it for a fraction of the original price. Some people only wear expensive outfits a couple of times and these shops put the outfits out for sale, on a sale or return basis. Also, the owners of these shops are usually great and friendly and will help you to put together an outfit. With that done,arrange a hairdresser to give you a consultation, get your nails done and then stride forth and enjoy the wedding!

I always wear trousers and had three boys getting married within 18 months.

For the first I wore chocolate brown silky type soft wide trousers with top and ankle length floaty coat that was sort of see through... 3 matching pieces.
Feather fascinator, home made.

For the second it was a plum/aubergine coloured ankle length silky chiffony dress with lowish V and ankle length chiffony coat... 2 matching pieces.
Bought matching hat in the shop.

For the third, plain black ankle length silk shift dress with a striking oyster coloured silk jacket. The fascinator was out of M & S.

On each occasion I got satin shoes with a lowish heel and had them dyed a perfect colour match.

I was like you..... always in trousers. So went for trousers or ankle length dress to stay comfortable.
This also meant I could stop worrying about killer heels.

Be comfy, be stunning, have gel nails done, the works. And then get the shoulders back and smile.

Go for it, Lin!

Lin; I had a wedding to go to this summer that drove me near to cracking up point.Although it wasn't a family wedding my ex and his new girlfriend were going, so I wanted to look good. Like you I'm a jeans and t shirt person [I also have mutant feet and struggle with shoes]. I bought an obscene amount of clothes for it [most of which will probably never be worn] but ended up wearing one of the last dresses I did buy, some sandals from Clarkes that didn't hurt my feet, a little black shrug and a fascinator that I bought from a charity shop, again at the last minute [it was new though] even though I'd bought several hats/fascinators from other places. At the end of the day my ex's girlfriend didn't go anyway and the wedding was incredibly informal and I shouldn't have worried at all. However, what I did end up wearing was what I felt comfortable in so your starting point is what you'll be happy wearing. When my daughter got married a few years ago she persuaded me to buy a Hobbs suit which I loved and I changed into hippie chique for the evening do. There are loads of these second hand designer shops around and the good thing is that you can go in and try lots of different styles on to get a feel for what you like. Can I give a mention for Hotter shoes; on the off chance that I might get to wear my new dresses for other occasions I've bought three pairs of their 'Donna' shoes in black leather, green suede and burgundy suede. They are incredibly comfortable and I'm pretty sure I can walk in them [I usually wear trainers] albeit not very far.

Don't be afraid of those posh looking ladies in big department stores ( I was, but out of desperation I said yes when one asked ' can I help you Madame?" I was sick of weeks and weeks of trailing hopelessly around blue water) she was wonderful. She picked out a couple of outfits and realising my reluctance about letting anyone see me she was very discreet and kind and Picked out the perfect outfit. She even advised on the colour of my handbag and shoes. I just wished I'd asked sooner. On the day act your socks off like your trying for a best actress Oscar award. You'll be so proud of your son dressed up looking so handsome you'll beam. Smile sweetly at the ex and his family. Give em the royal wave. If your forced to speak to them keep it short and excuse yourself quickly with a " oh do excuse me I must go and speak with ............" Congratulation on being a mother of the groom it'll be fab. Honest

I've searched online - there are plenty of "Mother of the bride" trousers suits or pants suits (on US sites) so these can give you some ideas - dressy tunic/coat with matching/coordinating trousers.

Also can you go with a cousin or someone so you have moral support.

Try a personal shopper at somewhere like Debenhams for your outfit. You may be surprised by the ex-family. I dreaded seeing them at DD wedding but they made a beeline for me because they do not like my ex-DH new woman

Just to recap on the post I done 18 months ago, the wedding is now 6 weeks away, I have lost over 2 stone in weight, bought myself a fab outfit and a pair of killer heels (which I have to practise walking in lol), tried it all on yesterday to make sure it all fits and no alterations are needed and to my dismay I cant get the shoes on due to swollen feet and ankles, looks as though a trip to the docs and get a course of those nasty water tablets sigh

Well done, there's nothing like a bit of pressure to inspire us. I so hope you, mother of the groom, have the most wonderful day.

Just remember Lin that you don't owe your ex anything. He is your ex for a reason and she is now stuck with him! Sort out your feet, enjoy every second and dance the night away, preferably with lots of different men, that'll show him! Good luck and congrats. X

It's your son's big day!! I think you should definitely be there for him. Don't think so much , it's just a matter of few hours.

What ashmi says!

The best way is to get dressed look at yourself, feel superb. Leave the house and then completely forget how you look and concentrate on enjoying every second. Laugh and love a lot!

All the above plus, take another pair of shoes with you. I did that at all DD's weddings and when the fancy ones became too much, slipped on the back up pair!