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Pedants' corner

Offendees

(112 Posts)
Elegran Sat 01-Aug-15 15:18:46

Is it just me or has there been a change lately in "being offended" ? It has always seemed to me that you were offended if someone implied that you had some defect or other. If they said it about someone else, but your own part in the fault wasn't included, you could be very annoyed about it, but you were not offended. That was reserved for a personal slight to you. That is, the offense had been committed against the person offended.

Now people get offended on other people's behalf even when the person referred to doesn't see anything at all to take offence at. Surely it is highly presumptive and interfering to get into a tizz when no insult was meant and none taken? Rather like making someone else's decisions for them - "Does he take sugar?"

soontobe Sat 01-Aug-15 15:37:03

* even when the person referred to doesn't see anything at all to take offence at.*

Says who though?

You cant speak on behalf of a group of people you neither know and who have got better things to do right at this moment in time.

You also cannot 100% vouch for someones' inner thoughts generally, either, when it comes to the person who may be doing the insulting.

So people have to do what they think is best. And watch out for other people to the best of their ability.

You cant conclude that no insult was meant and none taken, unless you are the one doing the possible insulting, and you know the people who may have been insulted.

trisher Sat 01-Aug-15 16:09:32

It is of course lazy use of the English language. I am offended by something that is said to, or about,me. I find offensive any other remarks.

AshTree Sat 01-Aug-15 16:38:55

Exactly trisher, couldn't put it better smile

Elegran Sat 01-Aug-15 23:22:07

You put it succintly, trisher

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 07:54:10

You are exactly right Elegran, we can only feel offended by remarks to ourselves and not words or actions to others.The new cult of being offended
Is PC gone barmy.It seems to confer some kind of sainthood on those people who feel offended by this, that and the other, they are sensitive souls who 'feel' the pain of others.Totally ridiculous .

soontobe Sun 02-Aug-15 08:23:34

Wow

Feeling empathy is now being saintlike.
And a person who feels empathy is now sensitive.

And it is not hard to spot that those who think like this are very pro the conservative way of thinking.

It is opening my eyes I have to say.

Gracesgran Sun 02-Aug-15 08:58:26

I don't see the problem. The word was not used on the pedants thread but a discussion thread. Of course there are many ways to use it, e.g., I, personally, found the word offensive and I was also offended that the leader of my country, who acts on my behalf, used it when speaking for the country.

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 09:00:39

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 09:01:50

Other people have their opinions, you you, Soontobe just try and stir all the time, pathetic.

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 09:03:24

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

soontobe Sun 02-Aug-15 09:13:41

I apologise for pointing them in the direction of this thread.

But since this forum is so small, and your comments on this thread were highly relevant to what you were writing on the other one, I didnt think that it would matter.

Obviously it does to you, so I am sorry for doing that, and will try to remember not to do it again.

soontobe Sun 02-Aug-15 09:17:40

I post a great deal on this forum.
Whether people think I stir all the time well I think they need to look at all my posts each and every day.

I understand that you are annoyed though, and I once again apologise for pointing them to this thread and its comment.

whitewave Sun 02-Aug-15 09:20:51

The good mannered thing now is to accept the apology and close the door on a rather embarrassing and puerile spat

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 09:21:50

Sorry, but can't believe a word of anything you write Soontobe, so don't bother with any apologies.

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 09:23:23

Keep your nose out Whitewave, nothing to do with you.

whitewave Sun 02-Aug-15 09:23:45

grin

Gracesgran Sun 02-Aug-15 09:24:02

Soon - I don't think you have anything to apologise for. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

rosesarered Sun 02-Aug-15 09:27:37

I will leave you to it.Enjoy.

whitewave Sun 02-Aug-15 09:30:59

Well done rose smile We can all now get back to adulthood.

Anniebach Sun 02-Aug-15 09:31:11

Is it not for the moderators to decide what threads are acceptable ?

trisher Sun 02-Aug-15 09:49:38

People's levels of tolerance differ and we all have things we find unacceptable. Personally I find most off-colour jokes offensive, but a limited use of 4 letter words is acceptable. Others differ I know. What I do about this is up to me. Sometimes if something is very offensive I do speak out, other times I will simply remove myself from the situation. It isn't a question of empathy simply of one's personal standards.

soontobe Sun 02-Aug-15 09:52:05

But the level of empathy is a standard. A huge great big one.

Elegran Sun 02-Aug-15 10:32:52

There is no need to get all aeriated about empathy. That is well-covered elsewhere.

This thread is under the "Pedants" umbrella, and is about the apparently changed "meaning" of "offended" from meaning "That definitely hurt ME!" to "There is a faint chance that it could have hurt SOMEONE who puts an unusual interpretation on it"

mcem Sun 02-Aug-15 11:12:14

In what way is 'the level of empathy a standard'? And what do you mean by 'a huge great big one'.
I genuinely do not understand this post.