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moving home

(12 Posts)
granessie Wed 25-May-16 15:42:12

I am living in a retirement block for over 4 years in the south of Scotland. My family of three sons are scattered in the UK but on good terms. My middle son is encouraging me to move to the far North of Scotland to be near him and his family and my other 2 sons support him. I am mid seventies and lived in the north for many years but nor in this city. I am happy in my home town but aware of the bigger picture in the future. I am looking for shared ideas in my dilemma.

tiredoldwoman Wed 25-May-16 15:53:15

I think it's really lovely that your family want you near . Maybe write down lists of pros and cons to clarify your thoughts ? How exciting !

tiredoldwoman Wed 25-May-16 15:53:28

I think it's really lovely that your family want you near . Maybe write down lists of pros and cons to clarify your thoughts ? How exciting !

annsixty Wed 25-May-16 16:22:31

If you have few friends and not much of a social life where you are I should consider it. On the other hand if you have,I would ask yourself how many times a week would you expect to see family. Do you expect to become part of your life. Are you a joiner of clubs etc,it is hard to make friends in later life.
I wish you well in your decision making.

annsixty Wed 25-May-16 16:23:27

That should be their life!!

Luckylegs9 Wed 25-May-16 17:29:15

I think you have to ask yourself what a move would offer you. Will you have clubs you can join, are doctors and hospitals and public transport nearby? Have you friends and a good social life where you are? To move just to be near one son might not be the best idea, if he is out at workall day. He might have a young family to consider, which would mean you not see a lot of him. No one knows the future and it is importZnt to enjoy the now.

M0nica Wed 25-May-16 19:19:11

Can you be sure your DS's can guarantee to live in the area you move to for the rest of your life? Many a person has moved to be near their family, only to find that for unexpected reasons the family suddenly has to move away; redundancy, promotion, medical reasons, needs of other family members etc can always change the situation. Be careful.

granessie Thu 26-May-16 09:32:59

like minds and all that, your point is on the pro's column. I have done a lot of background on the proposal and am now very unsettled, hence the request for help. thanks

granessie Thu 26-May-16 09:34:31

that was to tiredoldwoman! I thought it would just slot in beside each comment.

granessie Thu 26-May-16 09:53:33

thanks for all suggestions etc. I now know I am right to continue to write down all the points and then sometime soon I am sure what's meant won't go by me.smile

Cathy04 Thu 26-May-16 19:35:28

Just a couple of thoughts. Firstly, have you discussed this with you DIL. What does she think, honestly.

Would you be moving near to them for help and support.

We moved to be near to our daughter. Things have not turned out as we expected.

Wendysue Fri 27-May-16 12:17:56

Granessie, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice here. One question - do your DSs want you to move so that one of them can be near you as you get older, in case you have health issues that they need to attend to? Not pleasant to think about and I may seem irrelevant if you're in good health now. But, IMO, it's something to consider. Would you rather stay near your current doctors, if any, or be near DS, if, among other things, of course, you were to ever become seriously ill?

Also, is the climate further north any different than where you are now? Better or worse? (I'm from the States and was only in your beautiful country once, years ago and, unfortunately, very briefly, so I don't know much about the climate and so on.)