Unsafe to drive?

I recently had this conversation with my father-in-law who accepts that at some stage he won't be able to continue driving for safety reasons. There is one area locally where driving, even with full faculties, is a bit of a nightmare and my father-in-law has this as his litmus test. When he can no longer drive there and feel confident he will stop driving - he says!!!!

I stopped my H driving when we got to the point where he was not able to go anywhere without me to direct him. I simply told him that was the time. He was not happy but the rest of the family were. I appreciate you can't do that with a friend.

It is very difficult. I can no longer and will not drive in dusk and when it is dark. I also try not to drive on unfamiliar roads because of my macular degeneration. I use my car for convenience, supermarket shopping, GP, dentist etc. I am well aware that my driving days are numbered and already I am already working out bus routes to eg get to GP, dentist etc. when the time comes.

Could you have a chat, with him included, how each of you will cope when you can no longer drive? If he is so reliant he may have to move house.

MM. Difficult subject but needs addressing before there's an accident which could injure innocent other road users.
Is there anyone who could have a more serious chat with him? We have driving instructors here who assess folks to see if they're fit to continue driving-would he consider that?
Discuss with him how he can manage without a car eg community transport etc. You will all feel terrible if there's an accident and you had done nothing.

You're right and I think as a group we must make a plan. Thank you

He lives in an area with good bus routes and we car share too so I think the conversation is imminent. Thank you

I do hope he can accept our thoughts as friends. We were so grateful when his car failed MOT but then he got it on the road again.

How many of us know when to stop? Not many I guess.

I decided when I reached 70 that I had had enough, I never enjoyed driving, but it was a necessity when our son first moved to boarding school. My husband always took over the driving, and was always reliable and could negotiate anywhere. Recently though he prefers me to go with him, and we only go locally to areas he knows, and he admits he has lost his confidence to drive to places which are strange. His macular degeneration in one eye was controlled, but I think it will only be a matter of time before he no longer drives, which will be a shame,because he hates walking and we have to walk to the bus. Sometimes I think perhaps I should have carried on driving, but I was forever cautious and felt I was a danger on the road. I am sure life without the car will be difficult, but we shall have to manage somehow.

I think this an extremely difficult thing to address, but we all have a moral responsibility to society. Perhaps this thought can help a decision? Have you thought of a group outing using bus passes so the gentleman can see how easy it is then pay for taxis without having the coast of a car? Difficult ......

The Institute for Advanced Motorists does an assessment test for older drivers. It takes about an hour and is conducted on roads you are familiar with

iamroadsmart.com/courses/mature-driver-assessment

Give him a gift voucher for it or dare him to do it.

If you read the DVLA guidelines dementia itself does not preclude one from driving, although eventually it will. But, diagnosed dementia must be notified. So just not knowing where you are going is not necessarily a problem. Without my "Jane" I would never find anywhere.

This is so hard- but you must find a way to talk to him. Or ask to see his GP and have a chat with him or her- and they will make an excuse to send him an appointment for a check-up, and find a way to bring this up.

I am so so sorry Charleygirl- and I am fully aware that you may be upset with me- but your comment really does worry me. Not driving at night is an easy choice- but if your macular degenaration makes you feel uncomfortable to drive on non-familiar roads- but truly really, you should NOT be driving. Even on a familiar road, a child might come from nowhere and cross, or an animal and make you swerve, or something in the road, etc. Has your doctor not told you you have to inform the DVLC? If you drive and have an accident, and your macular degenaration is known in your medical records- and have an accident.... doesn't bear thinking about. I am really sorry.

You can't just 'have a chat' with a friend's GP, granjura!

Oh yes you can.

granjura the DVLA is very well aware of my condition. My consultant said I can drive, it is my decision to only drive locally. Why would I not see a child or an animal on a familiar road? It is not your place to tell me that I should not be driving. I do not wish to have an argument about it so this is all I am saying.

Quite, Charleygirl.
If a child or animal runs out in front of you without warning, it makes no difference whether you have some macular deneration or perfect 20/20 vision.
A woman and two children ran across the A66 - a dual carriageway - right in front of me once.
By the grace of God I didn't hit them, but my car left black tyre marks along the road. It was the most frightening experience I have ever had.
I had perfect vision at the time.

This is such a good idea for so many people and I shall consider it when I lose confidence. Maybe losing confidence is an indication that one is doubting ones skills? Regarding my good friend, one of us is going to speak kindly but firmly today advising him of lots of options as advised by Gransnet members.
Thanks all, and I shall continue monitoring the feedback, it's so useful.

My Mil has just given up she lost confidence after having cataracts done but the point she made was by the time she saved money on insurance mot tax petrol and of course the sale of the car she had a tidy sum to put by in her taxi bank every one happy especially my DH, yes giving up can be a pain but at some point you have to be realistic

Yes, middleagespread, the time for 'joking' is over.
I hope your friend can realise the dangers of continuing to drive and will understand that he is not able to do it safely, nowadays.

So sorry jane and Charleygirl- but macular degeneration means you have blind spots- and if a child runs into the road- it can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE- truly.

I take absolutely no pleasure in saying this, really. I can so well imagine how much I'd absolutely hate to give up driving. My mum waited a bit too long when she suffered from macular degenaration- she ended up off the road and into a garage- no harm done to anyone- but she knew she just had to give up.

It really depends on degree of damage, but not wating to drive at dusk or on unfamiliar road indicates a lack of confidence and awareness of the problem which will, at some point, indicate that a line has been crossed:

How can having macular degeneration
affect my driving?

Macular degeneration can distort your central vision and can lead to loss of sharp vision. Macular degeneration also can make it difficult to see road signs, traffic, and people walking, and may affect your ability to drive safely.

Can I still drive with a macular degeneration?

If your eye care expert has told you that you have macular degeneration, there are certain things that you should know and do to stay a safe driver.

People experience the visual effects of macular degeneration in different ways. In the early stages of macular degeneration, you may only have small central areas of vision loss or distortion that may not affect your driving. In fact, you may not even notice any change in your eyesight. As macular degeneration progresses, it may become harder for you to see clearly. This may make you worry about your vision and make it harder to drive safely.

The DVLA will fine people who drive once macular degenaration is causing symptoms £1000- and of course insurance including liability to 3rd parties will be void. So not to be taken lightly. And as said, I take no pleasure in insisting on this point, at all.

I forgot to mention Granjura that my insurance company for the car is more than happy. As said before you are in no position to tell me to get off the road. I have no idea where you found out that the DVLA fine people when AMD is causing symptoms. I have been tested by the DVLA, not that it is any of your business.

Of course Charelygirl- I do NOT know the extent of your symptoms at all. But your comments about not wanting to drive at dusk and on unfamiliar road is exactly what my mother said and did, for too long. We knew, but no-one dared challenge her with it.

We were fortunate that her accident, although it wrote the car off, didn't injur her or others. Your own comments indicate that you know your vision is impaired- otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it. I sincerely hope you are having tests regularly to assess the degree of black spots- and will know when the time has come. Is all I am saying- as your comments are a real indication of impairment. I so hope you will be able to drive as long as you safely can- ande wish you all the very best. But driving and being aware things are 'not quite right' - is for me a total no. I can't drive at the moment because of my knee replacement and we live in a rural area- so I am fully aware of how inconvenient and upsetting it can be to have to give up- I can assure you.

The info re fine is from the DVLA website.

It's actually from the www.gov.uk site:

Macular degeneration and driving

You can be fined up to £1,000 if you don’t tell DVLA about a medical condition that affects your driving. You may be prosecuted if you’re involved in an accident as a result.
Car or motorcycle licence
If macular degeneration only affects one eye

You don’t need to tell DVLA if you’re still able to meet the ‘visual standards for driving’.
If macular degeneration affects both eyes

You must tell DVLA if macular degeneration affects both your eyes. Fill in form V1 and send it to DVLA. The address is on the form.

A driver was recently jailed for killing a pedestrian when affected by macular degenaration and declared unfit to drive- but continued to do so.