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The Invisible Woman Q&A - style and beauty

(70 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 02-Apr-14 09:02:41

Until she outed herself last month, Helen Walmsley-Johnson was perhaps best known as the Invisible Woman from The Guardian's fashion columns Vintage Years. As the intro to the column says: "Women of a certain age often feel ignored by the fashion world. Our blogger, the Invisible Woman, may have many years behind her. but she isn't ready to hang up her style sense just yet. Each week she'll be writing about clothing, body image and getting older."

Which is exactly what she has been doing so successfully, for the last two and a half years.

Now we are absolutely delighted that Helen has agreed to do an exclusive Q&A for Gransnet - so here is your chance to ask her about all of the above and more. Fashion, style, skincare, hair, jewellery, cleavage, stereotypes, mutton dressed as lamb... Get your questions in before Weds 16 April and the answers will be up on the site shortly after.

sherish Sat 05-Apr-14 19:49:09

Maggiemaybe, I'm the same. A holiday wardrobe is really beyond me. Whatever I take on holiday never seems right. I don't feel like other people look. They seem to look smart casual effortlessly. I would welcome any tips off successful holiday dressers. I too worked in suits and smart clothes and never had any trouble.

annodomini Sat 05-Apr-14 20:17:48

Doesn't it depend on where you spend your holiday? Mine has recently been in caravan sites where anything goes. A maxi dress or skirt is good for evenings no matter where you are, especially if there are mosquitoes around. Lightweight cover-ups are a must if you are sun-sensitive.

lujaha Sun 06-Apr-14 14:58:56

Two problems for me. Shoes - I cannot wear ballets although I love them as I have arthritis in my left foot and need support in the form of a strap. I don't like trainers they look ugly and are uncomfortable, no heels as I just fall over !Please don't suggest granny shoes with velcro. There must be something else. Also do you think a maxi dress will do for a greek wedding but where to find one with short sleeves. I am 16-18 depending on make. 5'7" with tummy.
Help. Thank you.

Ceesnan Sun 06-Apr-14 15:00:45

Phoenix In answer to your question about Tshirts - Matalan have some nice ones with scoop neck and 3/4 length sleeves for £6 each. Don't know if there is a store close to you though?

Nelliemoser Sun 06-Apr-14 15:34:10

I have not been to Matalan for clothes for a while but it used to seem that tops and tee shirts were made of a cheap cotton which always shrank badly, leaving you with a thick cotton top that was very short.

I had not had this with most other stores products.

19smp59 Sun 06-Apr-14 22:34:29

I have problems with shoes due to arthritis etc and have really struggled to find comfortable shoes. Hotter are not the old-fashioned shoes they used to be and I've had some really comfy brogues, loafers and walking shoes. As for sandals I've just bought a pair from Cos that have a lot of cushioning which is what I need and Salt Walter Sandals are supposed to be really comfy. I've just bought a pair in red and can't wait for the sun to come out now!

Circa1948 Thu 10-Apr-14 17:13:50

I also was concerned that black was the most prominent shade in my wardrobe, (
also difficult to find what I am looking for first thing in the morning as the black is slightly overwhelming when I open the wardrobe door). However, I saw Marianne Faithful on TV last week and she was wearing a black trouser suit with a black polo neck jumper, she looked fabulous. Need I say more?

jackiekiel Thu 10-Apr-14 18:16:10

For affordable skincare, I can recommend a big tube of Aloe Vera gel from the health food shop. I use it as an all-over moisturiser, face too, and it sinks in invisibly. A large bag of Epsom Salts from the chemist is an effective substitute for bath salts and very relaxing. If you want it scented, put in a few drops of your favourite essential oil.
On the fashion front, can anyone recommend clothes that don't make one look like a pensioned-off hippy, a ship in full sail or an air hostess. There's a dearth of fashion for the mature women that is smart, neat, colourful, flattering and camouflaging. I like Oscar and Yacco Maricard but they're expensive and look better on tall women.

Granny1London Thu 10-Apr-14 18:29:08

I am a size 20/22 and find getting dresses impossible.If they fit they are inevitably too short.
I prefer natural fabrics as i still overheat!
any suggestions welcomed.

19smp59 Sun 13-Apr-14 01:25:36

Circa1948 you have convinced me! I seem to buy black more and more and keep buying black jeans as well! I think I'm trying to avoid the 'mother of the bride' look!

Deedaa Sun 13-Apr-14 21:37:53

I didn't even do mother of the bride at my daughter' wedding! Her best friend wore a nice floral pastel mother of the bride outfit and I wore a long dress in a striking jungle print.

binky Mon 14-Apr-14 11:02:58

I am early 50s, a size 12-14 (half a stone to lose but reasonably happy with my shape) and have a question about jeans. I used to always go for boot leg, but as I have lost weight they don't seem to suit me so much. Plus they don't seem very fashionable. I was encouraged to try and pair of "skinny" jeans (not the super skinny ones you can't get your feet out of I hasten to add) and to my surprise they were a lot more flattering than anything I had already. But my question is - am I too old for this cut?

wysteria Mon 14-Apr-14 11:07:19

Hello Helen. I have a large bust (34FF) but am slim ish (with an emphasis on the ish) elsewhere apart from my tummy. I struggle to buy fitted tops because what fits elsewhere doesn't do up on my boobs. And if I go for floaty it can make me look bigger than I am elsewhere. What's the solution? I am of the opinion if you've got it, flaunt it. But then things that cling to my bust (fine) tend to cling to my tummy too (not so fine)

libertybodice Mon 14-Apr-14 11:20:40

Like •wysteria* I also have a largish bust. In the past I have alway sbeen happy to wear fairly low cut necklines (totally agree - why not flaunt it!) but as I get older I'm less sure about doing so. Partly because I don't want to look like Bet Lynch. Partly because the skin on my chest is not as perfect as it once was sad

But high necklines just make me look like I have a pillow down my top so there must be a happy medium. And I am hoping you can tell me what it is!

mags62 Mon 14-Apr-14 11:40:03

I have experimented with fake tans in the past (only on my legs which never seem to go brown like the rest of me) and never with any success. Is there a foolproof way of doing it without looking like a tiger or getting it on bedding and clothes? Is there one that doesn't reek to high heavens? Or is there another way to make my bare legs look ok for baring in summer? (knee length skirts or cropped trousers mainly)

gwendo Mon 14-Apr-14 12:00:04

Like many other people on here my area of issue is my tummy. I tend to hide it with longer tops etc but with occasionwear etc it is more tricky and I resort to control knickers. I find them impossible to get on and off (appreciate that they need to be tight to hold you in) and do worry after reading stories about what they do to your inner organs (are those stories true? I don't know but suspect there may be some truth at least) So I would like to find a brand which isn't going to cause damage but is going to do the trick and ideally ones which are not too impossible to put on/take off. I have come to grief with the ones that have "holes" for you to pee through without removing and would rather not go there again smile

barbarab Mon 14-Apr-14 13:00:13

Bingo wings! How to get rid of please? And in the mean time how to disguise (specially in summer). Thank you

marbles Mon 14-Apr-14 13:58:23

I also have a summer question - namely swimwear. My shape isn't too bad but (like everyone else it seems) I am not happy with my tummy and that's quite hard to disguise when you are in a swimsuit. I haven't found ones with tummy control panels particularly helpful and prefer dark or plain costumes rather than loud patterns. Would tankinis or bikinis be any better?

cheshiresmile25 Mon 14-Apr-14 14:59:25

Hi Helen,

I really like all the smock tops in the shops at the moment. Perfect for warm spring and summer days. But are they perfect for a 60 year old Grandma? I loved wearing them in the 70s, so should I not wear them a second time around?!

Thanks for any advice.

LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 22-Apr-14 14:03:12

The Invisible Woman, aka Helen Walmsley-Johnson (sounds a bit more personal!), has been busy putting paid to all your style dilemmas - see below for her personal nuggets of wisdom...

HelenWalmsleyJohnson Tue 22-Apr-14 14:10:07

Valbeasixties

Hi Helen,
I am a newly retired Head Teacher on a pension so need to be economical when buying clothes, even though I love doing so. I tend to resort to browsing at TKMaxx as so many shops which sell clothes for my age group are very expensive. I want modern clothes which are cut for a 'more mature' figure. Per Una seems to have become predictable and more suited for the 'older retired'. I have not yet explored any of the online retailers which are especially geared for 50+ women. Help!
Val

Browsing TKMaxx is a good place to start but as you say, you do have to invest time and shoe leather. The stock varies according to store location and the same is true of charity shops so it’s worth travelling a bit to try somewhere new. Have you tried eBay? Daunting amount of things to go through but you quickly get to recognise what’s good and what’s not. Online shopping is a good way of getting round the sales without wearing yourself out. And don’t limit yourself to places that “specialize” in older women, look at ASOS, Topshop, Hobbs, Jaeger. Look at Net-a-Porter, My Wardrobe, Selfridges and Gray & Osbourn, not to buy but to research the kind of thing you like. The cut of clothes for a more mature figure (and we do change shape) is an issue manufacturers need to address but until they do it’s a case of tracking down the labels that work for your shape and taste.

HelenWalmsleyJohnson Tue 22-Apr-14 14:11:29

cyberjack

Hi Invisible Woman! I love your column in the Guardian and I follow your hilarious progress on Twitter.
My philosophy is to keep on the move as much as possible (no one can focus up on the sagging bits then if one is just a blur) and to look after my skin as best I can. What is your advice about moisturizer...? I give up sometimes as there are so many. I end up always buying No 7 (ever since that Horizon programme).

Hello - and thank you! I think it’s not so much which moisturiser but what goes with it, as in diet, lifestyle and to a certain extent genes. I’d have no hesitation recommending the No. 7 Protect & Perfect (despite the ghastly ‘ta-dah!’ tagline). I’m very fond of the Caudalie range when I’m in funds and they’re very good with little taster samples - samples are so useful for testing on your skin and they’re also good for travelling. At the moment I’m definitely NOT in funds and I’m washing my face with Simple moisturising facial wash (never soap) and using Johnson’s baby oil on my face and around the eyes, which works for me and costs very little.

HelenWalmsleyJohnson Tue 22-Apr-14 14:16:32

Kathcan1

It's a confidence trick, we all like to think we're a size smaller than we actually are. Sizing has always differed between brands but some companies have got very mean with their material, there are garments are poorly tailored and poorly fitting they need exposing.

I agree. I asked this question in my Guardian column the other week, and also the way manufacturers size clothing has changed substantially over the last 40 years and what would have been Size 12 in 1975 is now more like a Size 8 by today's grading, which in turn means there is little consistency between retailers. A good idea for a Gransnet feature perhaps? If it's a recommendation you're after I don't think you can go wrong with Toast for good quality basics that will last or, if you don't want to spend a lot the Zara Basics range is a good one.

HelenWalmsleyJohnson Tue 22-Apr-14 14:20:14

KatyK

Hello Helen

I am in my 60s and have totally 'lost it' when it comes to clothes. Like most women, I used to know what suited me and was usually really happy with what I wore when I was younger. I am only slightly overweight (in the tummy area) but I am 5ft 6ins so I don't look too bad weight wise. Nothing I buy seems right. I will buy an item and be quite happy with it but when I actually wear it I look in a mirror or see a photograph and think 'what were you thinking'. I love skinny jeans and shirts but can never find the right ones. Any ideas/tricks for getting my sense of style back?

Oh Katy, I remember feeling like this! I felt as though I was living in someone else's skin and didn't feel like myself at all. If you can face it, it's worth taking a friend (one you can trust) - or go on your own if you feel robust enough to deal with assistants - and go on a window-shopping spree.

If you find a sympathetic assistant, ask their advice. Don't buy anything, and don't let anyone pressure you to, just try things on that you perhaps hadn't considered before. At the end of your expedition you'll only remember the things you really liked. It's a case of discovering what works for you now and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by what does. Don't give up - it will come back.

HelenWalmsleyJohnson Tue 22-Apr-14 14:23:06

Allegra

Just to ingratiate myself first, I much enjoy your Guardian column/blog and your tweets.
My question is about footwear. Do you have any views on the naffness/acceptability of trainers as part of a daily 'uniform'?
I ask because I am in a pickle with my ankle, which is taking ages to recover from wrecked tendons suffered six long, dreary, immobilised months ago. The only comfortable footwear is my erstwhile running shoes, obviously not currently in use for their original purpose. They are trouble-free to wear, whereas anything else more structured or with the slightest height gives me a bad time and I suffer afterwards.
Something of a trainer-ish tendency might do the trick, but do you have any thoughts on what?
(PS We're talking low-budget, inevitably . . .)
Very many thanks.

Hello Allegra. I'm paying the price for years of dancing and sympathise. I'm very much for trainers if I'm walking anywhere, or a good pair of leather brogues - the softer, deconstructed sort that All Saints do (or used to). At pushing 60 I've got lazy in the summer and stick with black patent toe-post Birkenstocks with lovely red painted toenails - goes with everything, still looks smart and they last for years. Sue Kreitzman (Fabulous Fashionistas) wears Crocs all the time, which works for her because she wears them with wit and humour. I can't stand the things but I like them on Sue. I still wear heels but not all day and I've always got a pair of Birkies to change into. Finally, this is the year of the flat and with so many styles to choose from I think I'm going to be stocking up – perhaps you should too!