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AIBU

Exhausted after spending a day with my grandchildren

(95 Posts)
jaxs Sat 21-May-11 09:41:54

I must not be the only 65 year old who I might add is very fit and looks alot younger than my age and find a day with a 2 year old and a 12 year old so stressful with all the fighting to get the 12 year to do as he is told the 2 yeard old is great but on the go all the time Also my daughter has slipped two discs and is not able to do as much at the moment but I really dont want to go and help too much does that sound bad sorry but i love my grandchildren but at 65 and after bringing two up its my time now my daughter thinks i am getting old before my time i was meant to go away for three days with the three of them and cant go it will be hard work but am I the only one feeling bad about this

Bothiegran2013 Thu 25-Sep-14 21:28:26

My comment was in response to saga, but haven't got to grips with how this site works.

Bothiegran2013 Thu 25-Sep-14 21:26:08

I love this comment. We have a 9 mth old grandson whom we see fairly frequently despite parents living 100 miles away, but as he is now crawling......boy is it hard work. I'm not as fit or thin as I would like to be, (but getting there). This morning I woke up feeling I had been 10 rounds with Mohammed Ali???

elleda11 Thu 18-Sep-14 06:23:04

so so true i learnt my lesson with my first grandaughter and never forgiven my self she was 1 and a half and i took her to the park she had just started toddling and being miss independent would not let nanny keep hold of her reins and she fell i had to take her home with a bloody lip to her mums horror but after cleansing it was not too bad and healed next day but i still cringe with the thought of it could have been worse. 3rd granchild on now his mum tells me to stop being so protective let them be lol can i let them be? certainly when I'm in charge NO!

lauradale92 Tue 07-Jan-14 12:24:45

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

greenmossgiel Tue 05-Jul-11 21:24:02

Grandpa will tell the tale with no problems whatsoever, I'm sure, rhoda590! He'll have all the mums in his thrall as he explains how the little lad fell with such an enormous crash in front of your very eyes. Everyone will agree that these little accidents happen in an instant and that similar things have happened to them too! He'll comeback from 'mother and toddlers' feeling ticketty-boo and much better about the whole incident! smile

baggythecrust! Tue 05-Jul-11 21:01:32

Looking after children is work.

rhoda590 Tue 05-Jul-11 20:49:06

i loved that sage, really funny! I also think grandparents today do alot more than years ago, my nan was a great nan, she cooked and baked for us, she bathed us, one thing she didnt have to do tho is work, i am working and between work and the grandchildren , it its hard. I am also sure, like greenmossgiel i didnt worry as much about my children i did worry about illness but not falls etc!! I know how you felt greenmossgiel, i thought i was going to collapse myself when i heared his head hit the table. Thankfully he is fine but nanny is still in a state of shock!!!
My husband is off to mother and toddler tomorrow with him, he goes every week, mum doesnt like going and i am working. He will be sporting a black eye so i suppose grandpa will tell the tale.

greenmossgiel Tue 05-Jul-11 20:37:40

I really liked that one, saga! I only have a visit from my great-grandson for a couple of hours a week, and his mum's here with him, too. But, just like rhoda590, I was horrified when he fell yesterday in the kitchen. He's 13 months, and is very wiry. However, he fell and banged the back of his head on my stone floor. The fear I felt was terrible! It wasn't a bad fall and it wasn't from standing, but he really cried and the bump came up straight away. There were no ill-effects and he soon forgot about it, but my heart was in my mouth. I can't remember ever worrying like this when even my grandchildren were his age. (It must be MY age!) shock

saga Tue 05-Jul-11 20:09:28

My husband always jokes that he's seen the wonderful lights of Las Vegas and the bright lights of Blackpool but the lights that bring the most joy are the back
lights of our son's car going down the drive taking our grandchildren home!

harrigran Tue 05-Jul-11 19:12:16

I think the tiredness is not just from the physical exertion but from having to concentrate all the time. It gets worse rhoda590, you are only a spring chicken compared to some of us.

rhoda590 Tue 05-Jul-11 18:50:45

My husband and myself take a very active role in our grandchildrens lives, we try to give them as much attention as possible, in summer its outside, gardens parks beaches, in winter its games colouring,etc.
I am 51 , my husband is 58, has had a kidney transplant so has not had the best of healthy, we are exhuasted most of the time but i wouldnt be without them.
We took our grandson ( the others were different places) to a zoo park last week, i shadowed him all the time, if it wasnt me it was my husband, grandson is 2, we were both standing as close as could be too him when he fell of a big chair into a table and cracked his head.
The fear i felt was unreal, i felt so bad for him and felt guilty, after an ice pack and check up in hospital , he know sports a black eye.
I dont know why we feel so tired, is it the responsibilty , i dont know, i do know one thing , i wouldnt want to be without them. love them so much

harrigran Sun 26-Jun-11 23:44:24

We have been playing in the garden all afternoon with grandchildren, where do they get all the energy from ? I have hay fever and a headache from the sun but it was worth it.

pompa Sun 26-Jun-11 17:20:17

Shysal, know what you mean, we only have one 14 month old, we love to see him, but where did our energy go, sure we never flagged so quickly when our children were that age.

shysal Sun 26-Jun-11 17:06:43

Just got home after looking after 3 grandsons aged 7, 9 and 11 and their dog for 4 days. I am exhausted but had a wonderful time. It is great being home again, but I feel like crying because it is back to being alone. My daughter, husband and friends have been climbing Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon within 24 hours. They are far more tired than I am ! My parting shot was a confession that I had accidentally put a white school polo shirt in to wash with the red sweatshirts, hence it is now pink.

fallon8 Sat 25-Jun-11 22:55:30

Oh,no.its nature way of telling us we are not meant to have young childen.i have made it quite plain,i wont be providing free childcare,I have done all that 3 times already,your children, you look after them. I have friends who do, and they are exhausted, fed up and feel put upon and feel they have to run thier lives around their grandchildren, and now our schools break up next week and already they are muttering...no thanks!!!

greenmossgiel Mon 20-Jun-11 20:31:05

Good to meet you, Oxon70 - looking forward to reading more of your posts. I can definitely identify with the need for peace that you yearned for! smile

harrigran Mon 20-Jun-11 15:51:13

Welcome Blueanne smile

harrigran Mon 20-Jun-11 15:49:05

Welcome Oxon70 smile

Blueanne Mon 20-Jun-11 14:18:22

I am new to gransnet and so relieved to know that I am not the only one worrying about accidents, etc. Parents seem so laid back these days. I now have four grandchildren under 4 years old, all very far away from me - two of them abroad. I am nearing 68 and still working full time with a 12 hour working day because of a long commute. When I visit, I still do the early rise each morning to give the parents a break and arrive home shattered but I miss them constantly and remind myself that they grow up so fast I had better make the best of it now. On the other hand, I wouldn't like to be so near that I was constantly babysitting. However, my biggest fear is that I or my husband will eventually be unfit for the long journeys and we don't have a lot of room for parents and older children to stay when that day comes. The travel is also very expensive. For many years, I thought that I didn't mind not having grandchildren but now they are here, each one has taken over a big chunk of my heart and mind and I can't believe how happy they make me. I know that many of you are getting very tired more often than I am but you are also very lucky to seem them so often.

JessM Mon 20-Jun-11 13:27:10

Hello and welcome Oxon70. You have certainly been a hard working grandmother. Guessing you have a wealth of experience you can contribute to this site.

Let us know where you are on the "Where are you?" thread. smile

Oxon70 Mon 20-Jun-11 13:07:10

Hello all.
My first post and this is where my feelings resonate! I have had years (about 20) of being 'there' for my daughter's crises. Now at last things have calmed a bit. Seven years ago my partner died and I have mostly lived alone since.
Five years ago I moved to a small town 15 miles away, feeling that I needed peace and quiet. My youngest grandson (of four, eldest 22) is now 10 and much easier, so far, than the others were. He was here last weekend.

Then last Christmas Day I fell on the ice at my daughter's house and broke my wrist. Because I have been out of action, at last people are NOT assuming I will help!
If my eldest grandson's dog gets hurt, someone else is roped in for transport. If some one needs the A & E, there's a bus. I lose less things through borrowing!
This is sounding a bit selfish, but I needed quiet so much.Sometimes it's lonely, sometimes I need help. I am getting to know neighbours here, though. My wrist is not right yet and that is frustrating.
I have time to think and have been writing and researching family history.
And I sleep without earplugs for the first time in years.

greenmossgiel Sun 19-Jun-11 20:55:20

I can totally understand where you're coming from with all this, Magdalene. If you see the post I wrote way back on 30th May, you can see I worry myself sick about all the hazards that present themselves when my young great-grandson is here. I honestly didn't worry anything like that when my own were young - but then, I was younger too! These young lads are your daughter's responsibility, not yours, and you need to listen to your own body. You are very tired - why? Because you're having to do too much. If your daughter doesn't 'hear' what you're saying to her, perhaps you may need to reconsider how often you can look after them. Be strong. There's only ONE of you, and you're spreading yourself too thinly. Be kind to yourself. smile

magdalene Sun 19-Jun-11 17:42:36

Hello there - I have also just joined Gransnet and I am so relieved to hear about the difficulties that other Grans have - mainly the feeling of responsibility and exhaustion that descends. I have 2 grandsons who are 12 and 8 and argue constantly - I have looked after them a lot on my own since they were little as well as working full time and am 62 .. My daughter is unable to understand that I find it hard to have them both together particularly if I have them all weekend. I have even resorted to asking my ex husband to visit just to get another adult to be there for an hour or so. The whole family now think that I'm a neurotic worrier . I find it difficult to say no as I love them so much but sometimes it would be nice to get a thank you from any of them!

baggythecrust! Sun 12-Jun-11 10:51:41

I used to get into the playpen to feed baby no.2, otherwise no.1 was climbing all over us. No.1 got her feeds in peace and I felt it was only fair to let no.2 have the same. When no.3 came along, we had two playpens (one to protect my harp) and three gates (top and bottom of stairs and one across baby's room doorway). I think it all saved me a lot of bother and stress.

greenmossgiel Sat 11-Jun-11 21:01:37

Hello and welcome, busybutfun! In an earlier posting I'd mentioned how tired I felt after a visit from my one-year-old great-grandson. I think a playpen is a great idea - and agree wholeheartedly with the other grans who have been talking about it. I think I'll suggest it to my grand-daughter, and see if we can pick one up somewhere. She's a great wee mum, and might feel that she's 'imprisoning' him, but I think I'll show her some of these posts, and see what she thinks! smile