My daughter in law is inept and useless as a mum.

Nanban The whole post was so over-the-top and vitriolic that no-one believed it was genuine, and "Modesty" had never posted anything, before or after this one. She did not return to the "discussion" she started.

I think everyone is justified in assuming that it was a wind-up. If it was not, she could have started a different thread with a more moderate approach. She did not.

Oh dear, I've just caught up with this uproar. I completely understand where Modesty is coming from - there was a mother climbing down from the top deck of the bus with a 2-year old stuck to her breast - double yuk. She wouldn't dream of walking about town bare-breasted ordinarily. I don't want to be subjected to nudity when I go to the pub, out to lunch, on a bus! What happened to good old modesty, and mystique being much more interesting than goose pimpled over large lumps of flesh on display.

However, it doesn't make her a bad parent or any of those other things - just uncomfortably different. And the baby will grow up inevitably and unglue itself.

Modesty deserved a fair hearing and I hope she hasn't been frightened off altogether.

I thought we had retired this thread. PLEASE can we put it to bed for good?

TROLL ALERT

Do not feed trolls. If you ignore them they slink away.


How is that for a hazard sign?
Repeat at intervals if needed.

Think we may have been deluded by a provocative post?

Who are you shouting at luna, there is nobody here ?

Oh....and so, are we to believe that all mums are PERFECT???

That there are no inept and useless mothers?
That we may not comment on that???

What a load of codswallop!

SIDE?

Is this the school playground?
Are we all expected to take SIDES???

I am incensed at your behaviour towards another memeber of gransnet...she is entitled to her say without people ganging up against her...

You are entitled to disagree..but not to mock or verbally abuse!

As far as I am aware that constitutes bullying!
I would expect that in Mumsnet but not HERE!

And NO I will NOT be "taking sides"!

whoooooooops didnt see the " CariGransnet " post soz.! ..my lips are sealed..

hmm!! if the "daughter in law" was "my daughter" I would be very hurt and upset that her mother in law called her inept and useles as a mum.....my daughters ex partner called her this and many other things at the time...not very nice and some things we should keep to ourselves even if we do "think " them...I would just let them get on with things their way and try to enjoy your grandchild....

"Modesty is the lowest of the virtues, and is a real confession of the deficiency it indicates. He who undervalues himself is justly undervalued by others".

Problem is, CariGransnet, new members coming across it get wound up (as Modesty intended) and post before they realise they are on a hiding to nothing.

Is there some way this thread can be broken?

Ignore Modesty's booby trap, have you noticed that this is her only post?

! good grief. i had routine, of a sort with my 4 children, but breast fed on demand, played with them a lot, and yes my house was 'untidy' but then i hate housework! can always find better things to do :] so think you better leave your son and dil to get on with it and just bite your tongue.

Your daughter in law sounds like a lovely Mother to me!

Frankly if my mother in law had let my child scream i wouldn't be letting her look after him again.

Hello all
Did Modesty throw in that dreadful post to stir the forum? Some folks hate it when things work well,as this forum does, hence the large wooden spoon. I, for one dont believe a word of it and suggest that she is a one time user and an all time stalker and stirrer. Come on someone close this post, enough now!
Love and hugs

Ok Modesty, out yourself, I think you were definately winding us up, and it looks like you succeeded. So come on -'fess up whoever you are!

Modesty
I cannot help thinking you are winding us up ??!

No one could be as judgemental and as unreasonable as you appear to be !

I disagree with my daughter on lots of ways she brings her children up - Lack of routine, lack of consequences, too many treats etc etc,.. but they are her children and she has to do things the way she feels right. Despite the fact we disagree - her children are lovely.

There is nothing you can do to change her,.. Why should she change to get your approval ?? If I were you,.. I would work on changing yourself, before you lose your grandchildren,.. and your son.

Have you thought about putting him up the chimney or down the mine? I agree, I could be bothered with breast feeding all hours of the day and night until the child goes to school,but even so...

Why is that Modesty appears to have gone AWOL? Is it because she has nothing better to do than wind us up with a sob story and then sit back and titter as we go spinning around in ever-decreasing circles? Come on Modesty - be considerate...are you a real person - or what?

Sounds like your dil is a fantastic mother, to call her useless and inept because she does not agree with your style of parenting is and not very nice of you. At the end of the day your gs is your son and dil child not yours, so its up to them how they parent him. I personally could not stand dd being in the same room as me as a baby as every little noice and shuffle would wake her up, she slept better in her own room, but its not up to you to decide. You have to help your dil not drive her away like that.

Just read through this thread. A few laughs on the way.
But in Modesty's defence if the little scrap is used to his mum breast feeding him off to sleep every night, he's going to cry when she takes those magic boobies out for the evening isn't he. Not a nice babysitting gig.
I suspect that try as we might we are not going to tempt you back to this thread though Modesty.
It has been a great bonding exercise for everyone else though hasn't it?

I'm afraidf Modesty you should bite your tongue on this. Each parent has their own way raising their children. As mentioned by others as long as they are fed, clean and happy that is all that matters. As for changing her that is totally out of order, she has the right to bring up HER child as she sees fit.