to desperately want them to stay here?

Thank you for all your comments and support. No nothing is decided yet so there is still hope! What I am finding so difficult is the realisation that the relationship I have with my grandson will never be the same if they go. He is too young to be able to hold skype conversations (2 years 9 months) and "Nana" will just become someone far away who he has a link with that he doesn't understand. The new baby will never know us properly as grandparents.
I know my daughter realises all this and will think carefully. I am just overwhelmed by the feelings this situation has created. My husband is adamant that we should be totally objective and supportive - which of course we should; but it's going to be hard not to be honest and open with her too.
I will go on the long distance thread too - thank you.

No advice Ambergold but thinking of you, I know how I would feel in your situation, it doesn't bare thinking about.

How awful, especially having to hide your feelings [Eleanor Rigby syndrome]. However, the only people I know of my age that have done really well are those that moved around and sometimes worked abroad and, in the current climate you have to think of the future. I've often said to my daughter they may have to consider something like that one day, and not to rule it out as we did. Having said that, if they did my world, too, would fall apart. At least, AmberGold [as with so many subjects raised on this forum] you can talk to people who understand how you feel and empathise totally with you.

Your success as a parent is that they are free to choose - your tragedy is the distance. Your success is that you are so loved, and that will never travel too far away. You will go visit, they will come visit. Not the same in any way but good for them.

of course you are not being unreasonable!

On the "grandparenting" section there is a thread about long distance grandparenting you might find some good ideas, and support, there.
Chin up.

AmberGold - no advice as such, just wanted to say I can understand your feelings. All my family, brother, sister plus their families moved to Australia. I was the only one left here and, yes, it is devastating. In the days when they went it wasn't so easy to keep in touch either. I also have one daughter who lives abroard and another who lives in this country but a long way away - only one lives near us. I would say get yourself on to Skype and set aside times when you will call each other. Get a box and put in little things for the children - it doesn't have to be anything big - which you can either send or just show them when you call. Start a savings account and promise yourself a visit.
There is also Facebook etc.
I speak to my sister at least once a fortnight and we still have a close relationship although I've only seen her once in 48 years.
Don't expect the pain to just go away, but you will get used to it and learn to live with it. I am not one for bottling things up either but it depends on what sort of a person you are - my mother never showed her feelings although she was heartbroken, especially when my brother went. Tell them you wish them the very best but you will be upset when they go, I expect they will be just as upset. Is it going to be a permanent move?
Remember the world is a smaller place now.
We will all be thinking of you. xxxxxxx

How I feel for you. The words "we are emigrating" are words I dread hearing from my DDs. Like the others, I can not offer any advice, but can only truly empathise with you. Please take care x

Ambergold- your post brought tears to my eyes...I could not bear to think of how I would be if my eldest daughter chose to move abroad with my GS...I would be like you.. totally devastated... I really cant give you any advise sorry. I do hope other Grans have some experience of this and can offer you some support. thinking of you xx

Keep to the thought that he is going for a final interview and not everything
is set in stone at the moment,I am sure your DD is aware of the impact
that the move will have on you but if it goes ahead you will have to be strong
for yourself and for your DD,look forward to long stays with them,as travel
is so cheap now and try and be positive,I know how you feel as my DD went
to live abroad when DGs where 1+2yrs old,and to make matters worse for you
your DS and his Afgan tour is making you feel low,my DS went to Irag +Afgan
and then volunteered to do another tour as they where short of medic's,so
I understand your turmoil,am thinking of you and sending love + hugs

Ambergold...how devastating for you. I cannot imagine one of our daughters moving so far away (one of them nearly went to NZ..but they changed their minds).
It must be agony not wanting to tell them how you feel (although I'm sure your daughter will know in her heart).......yet letting them get on with their lives.

No advice ..just want you to know I am thinking about you xxxx