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Toilet training a 3 year old

(101 Posts)
numberplease Sun 22-Jan-12 23:15:13

I, and my son and DIL, urgently need some advice on toilet training my 3 and a half year old grandson. We`ve followed all the advice from the health visitor and the nursery, all to no avail. He`s so bright and intelligent in every other way but this, so if he could only crack it, things would be brilliant. He`s quite happy to sit on the toilet, but never does anything, then a few minutes later he comes and says "all wet again", or "dirty boy" if he`s done number 2. We`ve followed advice and put him in proper underpants instead of trainer pants, and we take him to the toilet every half hour, but DIL`s washbasket is still full of underpants and trousers, plus I`m also washing several pairs a day when he`s here, which is every day Mon to Fri. I never had thios problem with my kids, so just don`t know what to do next!

Ariadne Sun 16-Feb-14 14:02:13

Digression! Talking of scratchy paper, do people still use Izal? My German friend called it "greaseproof paper" and she did not understand it at all. And some people had Izal and soft paper in their loos..

Rerun to topic - my MiL was a great believer in holding tiny babies over a potty. Apparently DH was trained by 18 months. Or she was!

Lona Sun 16-Feb-14 14:00:00

Yes, and ours was right at the bottom of a long garden,which was scary in the dark when I was little!

JessM Sun 16-Feb-14 13:39:52

Outside loos with scratchy newspaper (and spiders) were enough to give anyone constipation.

soop Sun 16-Feb-14 13:24:47

harrigran Aw! I can picture the bottom shuffle. Wee Man used to do the Commando crawl. grin

harrigran Sun 16-Feb-14 13:22:14

I held DD over potty from 6 weeks and never had dirty nappies except for odd tummy bug. She was completely trained at 15 months.
My younger sister was out of nappies at 11 months and all the terry nappies were made into little briefs. She wasn't walking, she used to bottom shuffle and I can still picture her. She was the last child, my elder sister being 16 years older and I was more than ten years older so I think mother wanted it all over and done with as quickly as possible grin

soop Sun 16-Feb-14 12:50:16

Aka YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aka Sun 16-Feb-14 12:30:41

With cut up newspaper too?

soop Sun 16-Feb-14 12:23:06

Aka the loo was outdoors. It was exceedingly draughty...grin

Deedaa Fri 14-Feb-14 20:53:14

My mother had the original edition of Doctor Spock and he advised potty training from 9 months. He also admitted that at that age it was probably the mother being trained and not the baby!

Aka Thu 13-Feb-14 14:22:45

Ah you must have ad running water soop and an indoor loo. Posh folks did.

margaretm74 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:02:44

DGS somehow removed his nappy when he was very small but just able to move around; it was full of number 2. DD1 had a very dirty baby, cot and bedclothes to clean up.

soop Thu 13-Feb-14 13:52:08

Aka...and it was rumoured that I not only did all those things but I also washed my hands before climbing back into my cot. We were made of stern stuff in "them days..."

soop Thu 13-Feb-14 13:30:03

grin

Aka Thu 13-Feb-14 12:53:18

According to family myth I was climbing out of my cot at 9 months, taking my nappy off, using the potty and climbing back in again!

As if hmm

margaretm74 Thu 13-Feb-14 11:59:48

Apparently I was clean and dry day and night at 15 months and hope I stay that way. Unfortunately do have a similar problem to granny23, and come to think of it, DM recommended the running tap when I started to potty train DD1

JessM Thu 13-Feb-14 11:28:01

It was the fashion 60-70 years ago wasn't it mishap I remember first MIL telling me that is how she had trained her 3 !

Mishap Thu 13-Feb-14 10:55:33

My mother held my little sister over the pot after every feed from birth - not sure when she became fully potty-trained.

Dear GS, at age about 2 and a half, had a wee accident in a garden centre whilst standing at the top of a ramp - the wee trickled merrily downhill in a yellow stream! We beat a hasty retreat!

Aka Thu 13-Feb-14 09:31:07

At home I agree there's everything to be said for leaving both sexes naked from the waist down. In fact now you mention it Jess it was the norm in 'our day' to see little ones semi naked in the house. Probably saved on terries and certainly helped early training.

margaretm74 Thu 13-Feb-14 09:31:02

We are now looking after GD2 a day a week and I thought it would be good to take her to a local music group. I am going to have to check the locality of the loos first though as potty training will be starting soon.

JessM Thu 13-Feb-14 09:20:38

oh the joy of accidents in public places. DGS pooed his pants in a museum. Had to try to clean him up in the ladies. Too big and too messy to use the baby changing mat! The pants went straight in the bin for surgical waste. You can't go out without spares.
yes the disposables are far too cosy. Not at all like having a cold wet nappy on.
At home there is something to be said for leaving little boys naked from the waist down when trying to train and having a potty to hand. Needs someone watching them though, who can rugby tackle the potty and catch the wee in mid stream and then say GOOD BOY!!!

Aka Thu 13-Feb-14 09:13:37

Deedaa the checkout would be a nightmare!

I have a theory (but it's only my own opinion) that if you can start potty training before the terrible 2s set it it's much easier. My DD was dry and clean at 16 months and her brother at 18 months.

Granny23 Thu 13-Feb-14 02:15:44

Oh Gillybob please not the 'running tap'. It was my DM's method of choice and has left me with a lifelong, instant urge to go whenever I hear running water. Absolute torture in a long queue for the toilet and a major hazard when visiting Garden Centres or show gardens with water features.

pinkprincess Thu 13-Feb-14 00:51:44

I agree about disposable nappies and late toilet training.
The terry nappies we used must have been very uncomfortable when soaking wet, imagine walking round with a wet towel between your legs!.
My DS2 as soon as he started walking would try and remove his nappy as soon as it got wet and was completly toilet trained before he was two.My DS1 took a bit longer, he was toilet trained by two and a half because his brother was due to be born then and I could not stand the thought of having to wash and dry two lots of nappies when the new baby came so I spent the last weeks of pregnancy making sure he was trained.
The disposables are far too absorbent, my DGC seemed to take longer.
My mother had five children and boasted that she had us all out of nappies by 18 months. She would state that I was toilet trained at one year, she must of followed me round with a potty all day, or had one strapped to my behind.I can even remember her ''holding out''as she called it on my yoinger siblings when new born babies.She would support them on her knee sat on a tiny potty after every feed.They would eventually perform then a clean nappy was put on.She said that it was never too early to get a baby used to a potty!.

Deedaa Wed 12-Feb-14 22:13:35

Yes you get so fixated on getting out of nappies that you don't realise what it will be like going out with someone who MUST go NOW! I particularly remember the supermarket queues. After waiting behind 4 or 5 people with full trolleys you would be almost at the check out when the demand would come. How lucky do you feel? Will you have time to pay for your shopping or should you make a dash for the loo now? Sadly, waiting is usually a mistake!

Aka Tue 11-Feb-14 23:10:37

In some ways the next stage is the hardest. Not the going out nappyless, more the asking to go when there's no facilities close by.

I remember the oldest GS, almost potty trained, when visiting Warwick Castle, deciding he just had to go. Dashing up a hill carrying him, through the courtyard, out through the portcullis, down the moat bridge, up another hill, through the gift shop .....only to find a long queue at the ladies. So into the gents, past the urinals (excuse us please, sorry you've wet your shoes) and onto the loo with seconds to spare.

GD (2) rewarded with time on the iPad, that's what she loves.