To think we are out own worst enemies

Get well soon, Butternut.

Butter How lovely to hear from you. You are a star. We are all rooting for you...so...carry on being postive and know that we want you up and running as soon as...((hugs)) and

Having suffered real trauma and tragedy in the last eight years, I cannot get seriously worked up about comments made by strangers on a forum.
Mild irritation is the strongest emotion invoked by hostile or incorrect posts. I get embarrassed by excessive sentimentality and find it hard to join in the kissy-kissy type of posts, no matter how much sympathy I feel.

Over the years I've noticed in the workplace that those people who think they are good at their jobs and never make mistakes are the exact opposite, and people like me, with a tendency to put ourselves down at every opportunity are, again, the complete opposite. I realised this many years ago when I used to take over a shift from someone who was supremely confident; I kept getting into trouble over small mistakes so started checking the work that I took over from her and, yes, there it was; she was the one making mistakes. However, I've also realised that my lack of confidence rubs off on people, both the peole I work with and the people I work for. If you say you're brilliant, people actually believe that you are. Alas, some of us have noses that grow if we try to do that ...

..I work with 'peoles'? No wonder I have no confidence.....

jeni No spawn here at the moment must confess I haven't really looked at the far end of the pond, I may go on an adventure next week-end if the weather stays OK was more worried about you slipping and going head first down steps.

Yes, Crimson, If you keep telling people you are marvelous they start to believe you and don't notice all the mistakes. We've all met people like that, and we all know the others too - the ones who keep their mouths shut and their eyes and ears open and get on with the real work.

Unfortunately it is the hot air balloons who get the promotions, and go on to make even bigger mistakes as they get higher up the tree.

Tricky balance to be struck here - if you are always putting yourself down, others will take you at your own valuation and not take any notice of what you think, but if you are over-confident, others may find you thoroughly irritating.

Sometimes, I want my opinions to be taken very seriously, and sometimes I am totally flippant. So no idea what the answer is.

The sun is shining here and the garden is showing signs of growth, lovely. But no frog spawn.

Buds on hydrangea though! Roses coming into leaf, cammellias blooming!
Spring is here at last
Dreary winters past
Now the heavens are ringing
With the birds own singing
All the world is glad
Why should we be sad
Why should we be sad
Remember singing that at school, don't where it came from. But the blasted tune is now going to stay in my head!

That tends to happen to me with Phil Collins songs [eg You Can't Hurry Love]. Drives me bonkers.....Very rarely with songs that I actually like .

butter how long are you going to be incarcerated for? One thing about hospitals is the food! Particularly if you want to slim!

Butty, glad to hear from you. Hope all is going well with the hole in the head!

Just been out checking on the frogspawn that dd reported a few days ago. There's a lot. It looked a bit funny because there was a thin film of ice over it.

If you sometimes joke about your incompetences (and, let's face it, we all have some) and sometimes make your pride in your work shine out, you'll probably get a decent level of both and be taken for a balanced person, which is what most of us are. The rant was about a bit of harmless tension-breaking fun and caused unnecessary upset. That's why I objected to it. It's OK to be silly sometimes!

I am mainly with Absentgran on this topic, having spent my whole life, as a small, cute, plump person, striving to be taken seriously as a competent, clever, insightful human being. As a retired person, I have finally been accorded some respect as the 'wise woman' whose advice is sought before decisions are made, who proof reads and points out faux pas, who comes up with facesaving solutions to tricky dilemmas. Unfortunatley, this new found trust in my abilities by others, has co-incided with a loss of confidence within myself, as I find it much harder to be clear thinking and decisive. I also carry the stigma of having a Mental Health disorder. But that is all beside the point.

I have no objection to anyone declaring that they are as mad as a box of frogs, if that is the personna they wish to present, but I do object to the 'We are all......... ' usage. Perhaps I could suggest that as a compromise, Gransnetters who wish to use such phrases should add a disclaimer e.g ' We are all quite mad on here with the exception of Absentgran, Granny 23 (and anyone else who cares to add there name to the list!)

butternut - "hole in the head" - I've obviously missed something. Why do you have a hole, are you feeling OK. Sounds nasty

thanks all.

hope to be home thurs. fri.

food grim.

nice poem jeni

Are you on glasses weigh in? If so you'll have a head start!

I am fairly new to this site but don't have any strong feeling either way but if people are going to make flipant comments maybe they should own it, I rather than we.

absent wondered if you were having a bad day from what I have read so far your comments always appear measured and sensitive. I sort of understand where you are coming from, if we don't take ourselves seriously we cannot expect others to. On the other hand flippant remarks can release tension and are often just funny.

baggy no frogspawn in the pond yet but lots of frog activity. There is a danger of our frog population being wiped out this year because a very active heron who keeps calling for breakfast.

Ah perhaps that's why I have no frog spawn. The heron? If bags has got it in Scotland, then surely I should have it down in the sw.

Hey everyone, I just had a crosspatch splutter about a recurring kind of posting that I found puerile and irritating in the same way that I find adolescents saying "Wot am I like?" tiresome. I didn't mean to cause World War III. I love the postings on gransnet and I love the humour, wisdom and kindness. I was just being a bit spitty because something had irritated me but I did point that having got all that off my chest, I was cool.

Bags This had nothing to do with my confidence and I think maybe you should chill. I'm so sorry that I have made your cross.

Butternut Thinking of you.

Granny23 I love the disclaimer. "We are all as mad as a box of frogs except Granny 23 and absentgrana, who is a miserable rat bag with no sense of humour."

Thanks for the update, absent. I was cross on someone else's behalf. I've always found you sensible and sensitive. I'm sorry it upsets you so much when some of us are frivolously flippant (you have mentioned it before). I really think it serves a useful purpose sometimes and that it had done so this morning. I'm not cross now and I hope people will carry on being frivolous and flippant when they feel like it. I don't think it does any harm at all and isn't the same as talking oneself down.

You have just reminded me of another very irritating phrase found on forums: A humour bypass. Said whenever you take exception to something really insulting that is disguised as a joke.

butter thinking of you and hope you will be home soon, take care

Hi bags I wasn't massively upset, just a bit spitty. I'm glad you're not cross – you are certainly one of the posters whose intelligent comments and opinions I love to read and value very highly. Frivolous and flippant are good, but tiresome and irritating aren't. We all have slightly different pictures. Btw I wasn't poking nastily into the ribs of any other specific gransnetter, just making a general comment.

Instead of throwing a wobbly, maybe I should have just sat crossed legged, thought of pink teddy bears and breathed deeply. I just typed gin in those square brackets – that might have worked too but it was a bit early in the day.