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Paying my way - advice please!

(27 Posts)
Greatnan Fri 27-Jul-12 21:22:58

The only way that I can see to deal with it is by being totally honest. Make it clear before you go out for a meal that you will only be paying your own share. They will soon get used to it. As long as you go on forking out, they will let you.

vegasmags Fri 27-Jul-12 21:06:02

I would really welcome GNs views on my situation, which I'm sure isn't unique. I have been married twice, but for most of my adult life was a single parent (ie skint). I am now retired, on a modest income which does not meet my expenditure, but I do have savings on which I draw to supplement my income. I own my own house, which I anticipate selling in the fullness of time, so that I can downshift.

I am 64, and I have decided (rightly or wrongly) to enjoy life while I can, and choose to live modestly nay frugally so that I can travel and enjoy hobbies whilst I still have my health and strength.

My problem is that some of my family and friends seem to think I am much more well off than I am. For instance, I had a holiday to India last year with my beloved daughter. We did it on the cheap apart from a posh hotel to which she treated us. My son then thought this meant I could afford to lend him £8000 interest free to buy a new car for his wife.

I am tired of going out for meals eg with the family of my daughter's boyfriend to be met with that phrase - shall we split the bill? To which I feel like saying NO - there are 4 of you and 2 of us.

When I was working, I enjoyed being generous, but now that I am retired and wanting to spend money on myself, I feel there is some resentment about this. I hate to plead poverty and have always prided myself on paying my way. Any ideas on how to deal with this? I really would be most grateful