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rubbish presents

(47 Posts)
sonearsofar Sun 26-Aug-12 17:23:08

after starting a recent thread about my mum, I'm afraid I'm having another moan..I'm not really this negative in real life, it's just that I need to hear what others think.
Is anybody else's husband rubbish at buying presents, and is it worthwhile saying anything about it? This year, the day before my birthday, my husband trawled our local (tiny) town and got me some bath bombs (which I don't like - I'm sure I've told him), a vile-smelling scented candle. He's already got me a book of postcards (i.e. you tear the pictures out of the book and use them as postcards). I feel upset that he couldn't think of something nicer (it didn't help that 2 of my 3 children totally forgot as well). He's always been rubbish at getting presents and I can't understand why he doesn't make more of an effort.

AlisonMA Mon 27-Aug-12 10:28:50

You have all made me realise how lucky I am! When we first met I used to be given a record by someone he liked and on my 21st we went to a show he liked. I decided that this would have to change and it did.

Now I always ask the family to give me a list of things they would like as they all have their own homes and tastes. They give me a big list so that they will get a surprise. They ask me for a list too. We name what we want but try not to be too specific unless it is a book or something which has to be so. DH reminds them when Mothering Sunday is coming up and I remind them of Father's Day and his birthday.

For special occassions, birthdays with a 0 or significant anniversaries he takes me to my favourite antique jewellery shop and lets me choose what I want.

Sometimes he gets it a little bit wrong but usually he does OK.

It is his birthday in a few days and he has chosen a camera but I have also bought him a few surprises.

Stansgran Mon 27-Aug-12 15:41:30

I am still laughing at the picture of Marelli on Xmas day. makes my opened bottle of Grand marnier for a birthday many years ago(but not forgotten) seem sensible. There is a crazy gift shop in Allenheads where I saw a very pretty brooch and I announced that it would make a perfect birthday present. DH rushed in and bought it (I hope)

jeni Mon 27-Aug-12 16:00:36

My husband used to go next door! She was an antique jewellry seller and knew my taste! Mt triple pearl string came from her

goldengirl Mon 27-Aug-12 18:05:27

I tell DH exactly what I want - usually books - but I would like a surprise from time to time. The trouble is that when he has given me a surprise it really is a surprise because it's something I don't like! Poor chap, can't win! But eleven out of ten for trying from time to time.

Ella46 Mon 27-Aug-12 18:15:51

My first husband always bought me exciting presents, diamond rings, fur coat,beautiful underwear and sumptuous dressing gowns, but it didn't make him a better husband!

Second husband bought me lovely gifts too, very thoughtful, but used my money as he didn't have any!

GrannyHaggis Mon 27-Aug-12 18:28:18

The frying pan one Christmas went down a bomb I can tell you...I've never let him forget it! He nearly had it over his head!Thought I'd sorted this year's B'day present when I hinted I needed a new pedometer! Simple you may think, he got me this GPS thing to wear on my arm which is just so complicated, I'm scared to press any of the buttons in case I can't find my way back to beginning! He does mean well bless him, but it's now easier to take him shopping and point out several things I'd like so he has a choice and I know I'm going to be happy and love what he buys me. He bought a pair of NYD jeans for me at Christmas. I tried several pairs on, he decided which ones I looked best in and then I disappeared while he bought them!

peaches41 Mon 27-Aug-12 20:30:32

When I had my first child I asked my husband to bring me in some clothes to the hospital as I would be coming home.

He turned up with a bag containing a black strapless cocktail dress and high heels.

annodomini Mon 27-Aug-12 21:12:00

After I'd had DS2, ex-H brought me some new make-up - right colours and all! I am sure it was because I looked really awful.

tanith Mon 27-Aug-12 21:52:49

We usually tell each other what we'd like for a birthday or christmas present, last year I got a new phone and a kindle and he got a new camera and something else .. help I can't sometimes we both agree we really don't want anything, or buy a joint pressie like a day out or a short break, it works for us I am impossible to buy for as I'm just so picky.. or if we are on holiday and I see a nice piece of silver jewellery he'll buy it for me ..

jeni Mon 27-Aug-12 21:53:52

When I lost a baby due to ruptured ectopic! My DH turned up to get me out of hospital with a maternity dress and wondered why I was upset? Hr though it would be comfortable over my stitches, bless himsmile

Marelli Mon 27-Aug-12 22:46:52

Oh, peaches41! I did laugh at your post! grin Bless him!

MiceElf Tue 28-Aug-12 14:49:18

Absolutely the very best present was a kitten. She died two years ago age 24, her daughter is still with me, she's 20 and I dread the day when she will go the great mouse hunt in the sky.

Worst present was a pair of brandy glasses. I don't drink brandy.

dorsetpennt Wed 29-Aug-12 09:16:59

My ex-husband always bought me 'something useful' which meant something for the household. After that I got my gay friend Dick to go shopping with him and ended up with some really nice things.
My well-off grandmother had an even better off sister who was [this is my grandfather's phrase so excuse me] as tight as a mouse's arse. One Xmas she sent my grandmother a tortoiseshell comb in a gold case with the initial 'G'' in diamente on it. My grandmother's initial was 'E' but my aunt's daughter's initial was 'G'. She sent my GF a ten shilling note. This happened every year and we always looked forward to see what she would give that year.

FlicketyB Sun 02-Sep-12 16:35:30

To avoid the present problem in our family everybody is expected to send a list of things the would like to receive to me and I share the info round and tick items off. There is no guarantee they will get whats on the list and people are free to buy other things if they are convinced they would be well received.

However even this isnt fail-safe. My much loved and much missed MiL could always be guarenteed to go off at a tangent whatever was done or said. We agree one year that she would knit my then 5 year old son a sweater. We had extensive discussions about style and colour and it was agreed that it would be in dull gold and have an envelope neck. Come the day the sweater was complete and MiL arrived with it. She had knitted a V necked sweater in day glo orange with hat, scarf and gloves to match. In the stunned silence that followed, DS, then a quiet retiring child, rose to the occasion thanked her politely and put the sweater on. When ever she visited thereafter he would dutifully put it on, on the one proviso that he did not have to leave the house wearing it. The rest of the time the sweater with all its extras remained buried in a drawer and was not passed down to DD

goldengirl Sun 02-Sep-12 16:40:09

Surprise, Surprise! My DH bought me a Kindle for my birthday and I didn't even ask for it. I'm dead chuffed grin

whenim64 Sun 02-Sep-12 16:44:26

Enjoy goldengirl. There's lots of free books out there and the Amazon Kindle deal of the day is often worth having.

cazz19 Thu 11-Oct-12 16:41:58

my birthday today, another let down, not from the kids ,just the husband ,talk about rubbish presents he bought me a home phone , great you may say , might be for some , but im deaf, great ,id like to put it where the sun does not shine and to top it off he cancelled the meal because he didnt want to spend the money. because my 14 year old daughter was home ill, now i really know why i separated from him last year, such is life i guess men never learn that it is nicer to say it with flowers than to get it totally wrong

Ana Thu 11-Oct-12 16:55:31

Oh dear! Still, at least he bought you something! hmm
Have some flowers from me anyway - Happy Birthday! smile

cazz19 Thu 11-Oct-12 17:00:56

thanks every one, iv decided to give him a present , so just think i might give him a first aid kit ,he never know when he might need it lol

angiebaby Thu 11-Oct-12 18:48:45

SO NEARSOFAR,,,,,,, RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU DO,......a week before your big day go out and buy yourself a lovely present or presents....get some gift wrap and a card to my darling wife, get a box of chocolates if yo like them,,,or perfume,,,book yourself a hairdo for the day and meet up with a girlfreind and have lunch together, give him the present and wrap and card and say there you are dear,i have saved you the trouble of going out and getting me something,,,,,well i saw this and this is what i want, i had to get it because it was in the sale,,,big fib ) an d you might have missed it if i had waited,,,,,thensay,,,can you get me some flowers on the day that would be lovely, as far as the others forgetting,,buy.them a calender at christmas and write on it on your birthday date,,,mums birthday my husband before we were married bought me lovely presents,,,,,,but as he has got older,,,i get some crap ones,,,i always say buy me a craft magazine and a bunch of flowers thats all i want, i save all my nice birthday cards and put them up every year, makes my family think and feel guilty, lol

angiebaby Thu 11-Oct-12 19:31:18 have all made me roar with laughter.....great. some men have no idaeh,,,so they need a little help,,,,,,,give them this list.......weekend in paris, weekend in rome, get your nails done, a hair appointment.......perfume one you like,......a pedicure.... a manicure, tea at the ritz london . tell him to look on line, a theathre ticket,,,you tell him which one, a flower arranging day course. a cupcake baking course, a pamper day,,,,,a chocolate course somewhere,,,,, a mystery coach tour,,,,, day trip to london. trip to the v and a museum...great in there and lovely resteraunt. free to get in, trip to althorpe dianes home when it is open,,,,trip to kensington palace with lunch in the orangery. ride on eurostar to lille shopping. or if he is really romantic he can buy you a star.hows that,best of luck, for my husbands birthday one year i surprised him with all his mates from the cricket club,,,i took him down to the club pretending there was a cricket meeting,,,,,,while he was in the meeting in a closed door office i went mad and decorated it with balloons, they cut short the meeting because i told them there was a fire, !!!!! you should have seen his face,,,,it was a picture, then i gave him a ride in a tiger moth plane another year that was great too, his birthday is november and today he told me he has ordered his present,,,,£2,800.00 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!an aircraft simulator,,,,,,,bloomin norah,,,!!!!!!!!!! now im sceeming what can i have ha ha