Is this all there is?

Who cares , it is worth it ten times over .

Before you can blink an eye . it is March , we will have been to b"ham to see "nips"

then Easter which is early next year , March 31.

So the lovely merry go round carries on .

Joy to us all .

The only problem that I have found with lovely winter sun is arriving back to a grey, cold, damp England in February...

ISthis, why do you think we are off to Mauritius in February ?

Lovely , lovely winter sun , bring it on , oh yes !

[Sunshine , sunshine]

And transported back deedaa or the flight and airport would undo all the good!

Two weeks in Italy would be even better Somewhere towards the south where it's nice and warm. I've never been quite as cold as in Florence one October; I'd taken summery clothes and it was very chilly, in fact nearly freezing. Some of Italy is quite mountainous and, this time of year, brrrrr.

So let's all head South, like swallows!

Oh wouldn't it be great? Just a week in Italy would set me up for the winter - especially if I could be instantly transported there without all the airport horror

I think I've seen a doctor about various things more over the past 10 months than over the past 10 years! But they won't prescribe a 2 week holiday in the Canary Islands which is, imo, what I need!

crimson, I assume you've had some blood tests to rule out any cause other than age (!!) for your tiredness?

Do you not get very tired? I was fine till I hit 60 but then, for the past year all I seem to do is work and sleep. Can't believe how different I feel from, say when I was 59. But I do have an early start 4 mornings a week and am on my feet all morning; next week I'll have to be up on all 5 days as well. I'm fed up that I don't seem to have the time or energy to do things that I want to any more.

Like jeni at 68 I'm still working part-time, and not just for 'pin-money either. I need the extra money on top of my pensions. Luckily I enjoy it very much, I think it keeps me in the loop with the rest of the world. There are several of other oldies, we are the reliable, hard working ones. The rest of the time I see friends, garden, read,shop, visit family in London, go for walks etc etc. I'm quite often on my own but that's ok, I like my own company.

I think boredom is a complete lack of interest in whatever it is that one is doing (or not doing). Ennui is the feeling of dissatisfaction brought about by boredom. I bet that doesn't help at all.

It is very hard when one is betrayed by one's own body. I don't suppose that helps either.

elegran

I people ask you what you are doing (I think that was when you say that you are "doing nothing") then say that you are convalescing. That is nothing more than the truth. If you had had a serious illness, you would need time to recover. A bereavement is no different.

Why do you call what you do 'nothing', jendurham? That is just doing yourself down and feeding negativity. Doing what you choose to do, what you can cope with at present, recovering (if that's what it is) from what you had to do in the past, is not nothing. Hope you feel better soon .

Somebody who worked for me said that she and her husband were walking through town with their two young children and said "Is this all there is?"
Then they met a Jehovah's Witness.
Be careful what you wish for.

As you will probably know from other posts, I had been a carer for my husband for 15 years, until he died last January.
When people ask me what I am doing I say nothing.
I think I need time to do nothing and relax, read books, use the computer a bit, go for the odd walk when the weather's okay.
I do a lot of family history, but somehow that does not seem to count as doing something for some people. I also campaign about the NHS but again that does not count.
Maybe I should study genealogy on the OU. Then it would sound more important. Maybe I will eventually, but at the moment doing nothing is okay for me.

Hi everyone, new to this but had been an avid reader for some time . Retired early five years ago at 57 and felt very much like "is this all there is "? Was fine for about six weeks, bit like an extended holiday, but then wondered why l wasn't at work.
lt has taken me a long time to get used to it, did a bit of volunteering, joined a fitness group (didn't last long ) and then decided on an openings course with the OU. Took a bit to get used to the way they teach these days but enjoyed it and got a pass.
It seemed to give me a boost that l was still capable to learn something completely different (it was in Psychology ) and while l don't want to continue l am more content with things.

isthis i feel the same .i have gc all aged from 12 up to 26 so they dont need me as much as they did .am trying to find groups to join .but dont realy no what i want im 64 and was married 44 yrs xx

Hello janey - very frustrating for you - my advice would be to build your own life and go with the flow with the DD on the grounds that you do not want to be alienated from the GC. Sometimes we have to be pragmatic and accept what is less than ideal. Let her dictate her terms, but have your own life too. There is an element of this in most adult child/parent relationships when there are GC involved. C'est la vie.

I have the thought "is this all there is?" very much in my mind at present as I am laid up and on crutches. It is weeks since I was able to leave the house (OH has PD and cannot manage wheelchair and we live in a very hilly place; and family have been ill/pregnant so unable to help). Yesterday I just got really fed up with it - sitting in the same room in the same chair with my OH's progammes blasting out on the TV so I can't concentrate on anything else. Don't want to waste oil heating an other room where I could escape to.

I cannot wait to get rid of the plaster/crutches and be able to drive and get out and about again - and I certainly will not be thinking "is this all there is?" but rejoicing in the freedom to what I wish.

Hello Everyone, I just joined today and already having read quite a few of the letters that my experiences and feelings are not exclsively mine. THANK GOODNESS. Having said that I feel for anyone who suufers deeply upsetting times for any reason, such awaste of time and emotional energy that could be put to better use. "is this all there is" has rung a loud bell today as has the numerous letters about being rejected by children. My daughter has always had a difficult reationship with me. I put it this way as thats how it is. I have agonised over the years wondering about my mothering skills and have spent many hours talking to my husband(not her father) about it. Also asked friiends who have known me a long time for thier honesty about the situation. Dont want to bore everyone to the point of not reading this so wont go on ad infinitum, but just to give you an example was last year she told me to "p..s off back to (here we had moved from in august last year to be near to our two grandchildren). This was after a very bad falling out with her in laws who she and partner and GC had been living with for a year. Yesterday she said that I make her feel like shes let me down as a daughter when I cleaned one of the GDs boots as they were dirty. Too numerous other events/comments to wrote. At the moment things arent too bad but thats because the relationship is being steered by my daughter and if thats the only way then so be it. It never the less hurts like heck some days and as she is an only child makes me wonder where I went wrong. I didnt spoil her but did work full time out of necesity and remarried when she was eleven. Sorry to go on but feeling a bit like a squire peg in a round whole because of the move and also having a lot of "is this all ther is" moments!!!!

I think you are grieving for the loss of your once fit healthy body - I'm an ex-aerobics teacher and having recovered from cervical cancer (2009) I’ve had to have two hip replacements (same hip long story) and due to osteoarthritis a left knee replacement. I used to jazz dance and was pretty good many years ago. I have got back into a beginner’s jazz dance class but get frustrated that I can’t do the moves the way I want to. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with not being able to do the stuff I used to do. However, I’ve found alternatives and I use a walking pole whenever I go walking and I won’t be too proud to use a walking stick if it keeps me mobile in the future. I would check out your local aqua aerobics class as that will not upset the knee as it’s none weight bearing and can be great fun. good luck and I hope this makes you look at things a little differently.

Each to his own, I say. I love being retired.My OH hated it and has returned to a very demanding job, 5 days a week in London. I wouldn't manage a day! I think some people embrace leisure and some people need to work.

Exactly whenim64. I too mainly worked in the public sector and subsequently in arts outreach. I beleive I was ewll-thought-of in bot those roles and am proud of my achievements, but in no way do I feel that there is no point in what I do now. I feel for the most part content - there are aspects of life now (mainky health-related) that I am not happy with - but the freedom to write, think, create, be a part of a community, enjoy friends and family is fine by me.

Well said whenim64. More and more I try to live in the present moment. It came to me today also that I read somewhere that 'if one has a why to live for one can cope with almost any how!'

Ooh I think I resemble this definition isthis. After a career in the public sector, I was warned I would be bored, get depressed, want to come back etc etc. Instead, I find that I revel in opportunities to do nothing, and identify myself in relation to family and friends, rather than the role title I was proud of at work. All of the leisure time activities you list suit me down to the ground. I don't hear myself saying 'I should do such and such anywhere near as often as I used to.' I feel quite carefree, and whilst being realistic about this being temporary or sporadic, I am content for this to be all there is