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To expect ward staff to be treated politely?

(42 Posts)
grannyactivist Sun 25-Nov-12 21:55:22

I am genuinely really horrified at the manner in which staff were spoken to by parents on the children's unit. If a child in my class had spoken to me in the way I heard staff being spoken to I would have been shocked, but the casual rudeness and bad manners I encountered left me almost speechless. shock
Honestly, the staff, including non-medical staff were outstanding in every way. It's a very busy unit, but the nursing staff were very 'present' and accessible. No question was too trivial and every child and parent seemed to me to be very well looked after. So I am dumbfounded at the sheer level of rudeness staff encountered as a matter of course. My nursing daughter has often complained that many patients and their relatives are rude and ill mannered, but I hadn't even begun to imagine the scale of the problem. Most of the nurses and doctors commented, not only on my grandson's good manners (which I might have expected, he is only two after all), but also on how polite my daughter is! At dinner one couple referred scathingly to my daughter as, 'the Princess', because she had thanked one of the specialist nurses for her time.

If you're a nursing granny and have to put up with this on a daily basis I salute you!

JessM Tue 27-Nov-12 08:13:25

Of course kitty.
I'm sure (I know) teachers and call centre staff bear the brunt of much rudeness as well.
I guess the other side of the coin is that people (customers and relatives) are not always at their best when stressed, worried, scared even, and in a very alien environment where they don't understand 'the rules'.
I have a pretty good understanding of the medical world but still find being a relative in hospital very challenging, however brilliant the staff. And however brilliant the staff are, they are on their own turf. (not excusing them, just speculating)

kittylester Tue 27-Nov-12 07:16:49

On the subject of the OP, no matter how professional the staff are, they are more likely to be 'nicer' to people who are polite to them so, surely, it is much better not to be rude.

kittylester Mon 26-Nov-12 21:41:59

Massive (((hugs))) Elegran and Barrow

Ella46 Mon 26-Nov-12 17:01:02

Elegran and Barrow I don't have the words either but I'm sending (((Hugs))) flowers

Stansgran Mon 26-Nov-12 16:26:25

It is heartbreaking to hear these stories as I know so many wonderful nurses and equally people who went into nursing through lack of choice for careers in the 50s/60s. But I do rememeber A&E in one hospital in South Liverpool where the door was like a stable door and hammering on it produced a policeman with an alsatian -an early form of triage-very successful too

Elegran Mon 26-Nov-12 14:44:20

I am putting it behind me. At first I was angry, then guilty at allowing it to happen - in a way he was my patient, as I was the one who was there 24/7, the carers and visiting GPs and nurses, wonderful as they were, were only briefly there each day. But I have come to realise that I was tired and in need of support that day, so I can't hold myself to blame.

Thank goodness for the family. They came up trumps - and are still doing so.

Marelli Mon 26-Nov-12 14:38:04

Barrow and Elegran flowers. I do remember you speaking of this during the days following your husband's death, Elegran. I can never understand how anyone who is in the 'caring' profession can treat a person with such a lack of gentleness.......
You needed to be treated with gentleness as well as your dear husband, and those women failed to do that. sad

bikergran Mon 26-Nov-12 14:24:16

Elegran and Barrow that is very sad for you all..

absentgrana Mon 26-Nov-12 14:19:48

Elegran and Barrow It has long been my belief that everyone dies alone, no matter how many people are present in the room. What is far more important is that you were there for those you loved when they were alive and needed you.

moomin Mon 26-Nov-12 14:19:10

Elegran and Barrow like Soop I find I can't find the right words, but Nanadog's quotation is so beautiful (((hugs))) and flowers to you both

nightowl Mon 26-Nov-12 14:12:18

Elegran and Barrow you did everything you could for your loved ones. They knew that you loved them and you were there when they needed you. Be kind to yourselves flowers flowers

They are very beautiful words Nanadog

Bags Mon 26-Nov-12 13:57:51

Elegran and Barrow. Don't feel guilty. You could not foresee the future and none of what happened is your fault. flowers

soop Mon 26-Nov-12 13:51:09

Nanadog Such beautiful words. smile

Nanadog Mon 26-Nov-12 13:35:59

Elegran and Barrow flowers

William Shakespeare
"Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break."

Elegran Mon 26-Nov-12 13:02:21

This is where Gransnet is so wonderful. I have spoken of that evening to only a few people.

There is a bit, I think in Wordsworth, about "thoughts that do lie too deep for tears"

Elegran Mon 26-Nov-12 13:00:32

barrow If only we could rerun a few things and change them!

janeainsworth Mon 26-Nov-12 12:58:25

Elegran and Barrow flowersfor you both. I can't express how sorry I feel.

soop Mon 26-Nov-12 12:31:35

Elegran flowers So sorry, but I cannot put my thoughts into words.

Barrow Mon 26-Nov-12 11:58:05

Elegran - sympathies and I do know how you feel. I got my DH back home as early as I could and the District Nurse would come in every day to change his syringe (he was on morphine) and the different nurses were wonderful, caring and treated him with respect and gentleness.

After a week they suggested they get a night sitter so I could actually go to bed and get some rest (I had been sleeping on a sofa next to his bed). The first night the sitter came, she was, again friendly and kind. I went to bed and after a couple of hours she came into the bedroom and said he was asking for me. I went downstairs and he had tried to get out of bed and had slipped onto the floor, I put my arms round him and told him we were going to try to get him back into bed. He mumbled something and then he was gone.

I now feel very guilty that I had not stayed with him that last night.

annodomini Mon 26-Nov-12 11:49:47

The image of the nurse is taking a beating in this thread as is the image of the parent of the patient. However, when I've had a couple of visits to the orthopaedic ward of a hospital since made notorious by the murderous administering of insulin through a drip, I had nothing but kindness and friendship from the nurses and the HCAs, especially when I was 'reacting' to the anaesthetic and morphine. The raucous behaviour of some of the visitors, however, was over the top, but handled tactfully by the staff.

Elegran Mon 26-Nov-12 11:42:56

I should have complained, but just did not feel strong enough.

Elegran Mon 26-Nov-12 11:37:52

Thank you. That evening will stay with me for ever. If they had appeared in the middle of the night as expected, we would have turned him ourselves and he would not have been disturbed, or they would have been too late to do anything. I shall always think I should have stayed, however disapproving they were. Maybe they would have shown more consideration. Maybe not, who knows.

Mishap Mon 26-Nov-12 11:30:37

Oh elegran - that is appalling - what a dreadful thing to happen. There are always rotten eggs in any profession, but it is very shocking in one whose raison d'etre is caring.

I experienced a rough and thoroughly unpleasant nurse when I was in hospital after an op - she caused me a lot of;pain, and when I squealed she said:"What's the matter with you, do you think you are going to fall in half?"

Luckily these sort of people are few and far between and the most nurses deserve our praise. Where they do not, we should speak up I think - the whole business of chatting to other nurses whilst caring for the patient is so unaccpetable - I hate it.

Justifiable complaints (which will happen) are one thing - uncalled-for abuse is quite another.

Ana Mon 26-Nov-12 11:28:19

So sad, Elegran {{hug}}

glammanana Mon 26-Nov-12 11:24:52

Elegran ((hugs)) flowers xx