presents for my estranged grand daughters.

Well that was a very interesting read! From back when I [& Smileless] were first estranged, but before I found this forum, unfortunately. I remember you Suebeck and always wondered what happened to you. Wasn't it you that got frog-marched out of your DD house by your s.i.l? not too unsimilar to my 'outting'

Well, we are all still here, still hurting and Xmas is beginning to rear it's hurt-filled head. Wouldn't Celebgran be surprised to see her thread resurrected!

Hi suebeck. I'm sorry that your estrangement goes on; 10 years is a long, long time. We have been estranged for almost 5 years and I began letting go sometime ago.

It wasn't something I learned how to do and TBH it wasn't a conscious decision either, the process had already begun when I realised that I was letting go.

"I'm tired now with it all" is how I felt. Too tired to keep desperately clinging on to the hope that our ES would relent and at least allow us to see our GC and for nothing like as long as you've been clinging on.

I don't think you can make yourself let go but you can allow yourself too. If the physical and emotional tiredness is getting too much, maybe now is the time to loosen your grip, just a little.

This thread was started by Celebgran in November 2012, just when our estrangement began and I found an estrangement thread on GN.

There's one still running on the 'Relationships' forum where she and I post regularly. There are several of us 'going through this' so we do understand the heart break and you'd be very welcome to join us.

I want to let go. Was typo in my post just now

Hello everyone I'm still estranged from my granddaughters who are now 15 and the other is 18 in November. I keep the door open by sending gifts at birthdays but very rarely get an acknowledgement. It was my daughter's birthday last week and and I sent her something as usual. I saw her by chance a couple of months ago and she seemed okay. He appeared too and all seemed okay. I'm tired now with it all, it's been nearly ten years of not seeing them. I looked after them from their births, during childhood illnesses etc and was constantly called upon to help. Please read my previous history and then you are up to speed. I want to learn go but how can I? I have good friends. Unless someone is going through this, frankly they haven't a clue as to the heart break.

oh secretgran so pleased you found my blog!

at least that means that Mollie may find it one day!

do hope it helps you to do one.

at least you get glimpses on facebook my daughter keeps everything a total secret!!

Thanks Marelli - will let you know

We're always here, choirlady. I hope you get your wish and find a volunteering job soon - (exotic pets refuge sounds interesting!!)

Happy New Year to you all ! My Christmas was ok - lots of 'oldies' TV, and DS did send me a text, which is a start, but no response from DD. I'm now in retirement complex, which is great and I love it, but difficult to hear from people who have spent at least part of C*mas with family. Still, mustn't grumble (!) - onwards & upwards - I am hoping to volunteer at a (fairly) local exotic pet refuge in NY, or failing that some sort of vol work with animals or children (I used to be a teaching assistant).

Rambled enough now - thanks for your support

secret to you too and I hope 2013 brings you what you wish for.

Thanks secret.Happy New Year to you too and hope 2013 is happier for you

Happy New Year to you all. I hope that 2013 brings us all happiness, good health and reconciliation with those we love but have lost. I haven't managed to see my grandson but sent a gift card, so hope his mummy will buy him something nice. She phoned me, but I missed the call and she didn't pick up when I called back. I feel as though I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I call again and risk her telling me to stay out of his life...and cause another rift between me and my son? Or leave the ball in her court and wait for her to get in touch?

I have been inspired by celebgran to start a blog for my grandson, although I am keeping it private until he is old enough to read it for himself. Thank you for the idea - I found your blog for Mollie and your love for her shines from it. One day she will find it and know that you never gave up on her or her sister.

we had AWFUL JOURNEY IN DRIVING RAIN and is long one to our Son not been there before either, so tempers were frayed!

Was amazing to see him as said on other thread, and his partner bless her worked so hard to look after us!

Always sad as never know when will see him again, but do not want to put pressure on him, he is all we got now!

sorry you were alone choir lady but sounds like you coped very well,
lady who had our Rosie was very ill with flu bless her but she still had her, we got her some shopping today she is 88 so is worry but she looks bit better, just dreadful cough.

Thanks both - I hope everyone had a good day.

choirlady, Merry Christmas to you too. Enjoy your day - it will be a good one, I'm sure. Soon I will be going to my daughter's to see her grandson (my Great-grandson) open his presents from Santa (he's 2). My DH can't go to see this because the occasion is at my daughter's home and my grand-daughters and partners etc are all there -BUT my daughter doesn't speak to DH. I know he would really love to be there, but understands that it's just the way it is. I hope for everyone who's been estranged from their families, that this year will bring peace and hope for you all. xxx

Merry Christmas Choirlady! Hope today is enjoyable for you. Poppng back later and others will be visiting so come back if you're in need of company

Happy Christmas to all. I'm on my own today too, as far as human company goes but I have my lovely cats and am planning a nice lunch with wine and watching lots of TV

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blessings and be at peace with yourselves all us poor ladies who have some heartache or other.

Thank you Goose, it means so much to be able to have a little rant on here and the lovely support given is tremendously helpful.

Next year I feel we will stand back and not keep opening up the heartache, if nothing changes with our daughter not sure we can keep on going over with pressies cards etc and ripping open the wounds.

I do my blog for Mollie and one day she will know how much we loved her.

My dear OH HAS not had the best of health this year and really looking after each other has to come before trying to make some contact with our daughter who god knows why has set out to destroy us with her cruelty
Peace and happiness to you all, and Sue enjoy our tasty goodies and walk with doggie, I will p m you.

Thankyou so much Nonu. Means a lot to me. To you also. X

Suebeck and Janey , Peace be with you . x

Have just written a diatribe on "denied contact with grandchildren" thread suebeck in answer to your posting that you mention here. I forget aswel which thread I have posted on. Bless you too suebeck I wish a peacefull day
it sounds like bliss to me. If you look at my posting on the thread I have mentioned above I apologise to you and all for the length of it and its convoluted tale. I think I have to "do" something in the new year. Really do not know what. Love to all

I wrote a message on here a couple of hours ago but it is not showing. I saw my lovely daughter ten days ago and we exchanged presents. No word though of me seeing my granddaughters and this will be the 4th Christmas that I havent seen them. I will be alone on Christmas Day by choice, as I couldnt bear to spend the day with my friends and their families. Ive treated myself to some lovely things (food) from M & S and will also be going out to a nice place with my beautiful dog. Bless you all.

Well; I'm [thankfully] seeing my grandchildren for a couple of hours but will be on here for a lot of the day so we can have some jolly nice chats, even if it's about what we're watching on the telly. Oh secretgran; how sad. Facebook [which I don't go on] can be, I believe a rather cruel place...people that have split up from boyfriends and girlfriends still being able to see what they're doing. And to see a grandchild but not be able to visit. Bit like that mirror in Harry Potter where he can see his mum and dad. I've only got a tiny tiny sadness compared to so many of you, but we're all here for each other and that's good. So, welcome secretgran. And Goose says that she gets comfort from people on here but she helped me so much when I was very down, so everyone plays their part.

Yes, do keep posting over Christmas if you feel the need, some of us will be on our own and will be glad to listen if you feel down