Gransnet forums


To think I may be being bullied?

(12 Posts)
ayse Mon 03-Dec-12 16:41:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessM Mon 03-Dec-12 16:51:17

Difficult to know ayse - those involved could be being crabby with everyone and it is not easy to tell from your post whether it is one or more than one person.
Keep a log and join a union is a good idea.
If it is just one person being difficult then they may have a problem and may be being difficult with other people as well. Unless you are sitting near them you may not see it happening.

ayse Mon 03-Dec-12 16:58:03

Thanks Jess M - I have to go now as we finish at 17.00. Thanks for your comments. It's so easy to get things out of proportion smile

crimson Mon 03-Dec-12 17:12:45

I agree totally about keeping a log [it's easy to forget things] but I'm a bit concerned at the amount of information you've given on here ayse [names etc]. Perhaps get the thread deleted and re do in a more cryptic way [if that's the right word?]. In case you have to take things further. It is horrible feeling that you're being bullied at work so I do sympathise. Been there.

vampirequeen Mon 03-Dec-12 17:37:45

Whatever her reason to be crabby she has no right to do it to you so yes it is bullying. Keep a log and also contact your union so that it's on record. You don't have to officially involve them yet but they'll be aware of the issue.

Pennysue Mon 03-Dec-12 17:50:49

I am concerned that you appear to be posting from your computer at work. I know that where I worked IT check emails and use of computers regularly. We were allowed to send private emails, however I did not want them to know my business.

annodomini Mon 03-Dec-12 18:14:16

You will need to keep a log of incidents in case you need to raise a grievance. Your union solicitors should be able to advise you on that.

glammanana Mon 03-Dec-12 18:57:24

I am also concerned that you are using the firms computer and that some firms now take a dim view of that,log all the unpleasentness and keep in touch with your union rep here's hoping things settle down for you and you can get back to enjoying your job until you

gracesmum Mon 03-Dec-12 23:14:25

Just wondering if perhaps you want work to read what you have been posting, ayse? If you are genuinely worried and feel under threat, it will be important not to wrongfoot yourself, e.g. by private computer use in work time. Just a (well-meant) thought.

whenim64 Mon 03-Dec-12 23:39:07

ayse if you have been complained about to HR, you should have been spoken to within a reasonable timescale, and given written confirmation of the outcome, even if it was no action. If this person has told another member of staff that she has complained about you and she hasn't, you have grounds to speak to HR about her! Mediation is available as a way of keeping things informal and finding resolution and agreement about behaviour from now on. Your union will help with giving this and other information if you want to address the problem you have with this person. Have you got a bullying and harrassment policy at work? Unite will be able to proved one for you.

Even if it is workplace incivility and not bullying, it's distressing and should cease. From what you say, it does amount to bullying. As others have advised, keep a record. There is nothing wrong with recording details on the office computer, as you may need to record your log of what's been going on to a manager and/or HR. Just don't access Gransnet on the office computer unless you have specific permission to do so in your break time. Good luck.

ayse Tue 04-Dec-12 10:07:42

Thank you all for your advice. I also take your advice about not doing this at work. Thank you all for comments. It is so easy to get everything out of proportion.

FlicketyB Tue 04-Dec-12 16:02:54

Ayse, I didnt see your withdrawn email but if you are a union member then speak to your local rep. If you arent a union member and there is one in your workplace join it now and then talk to your union rep.

I had a problem with workplace bullying and when HR refused to treat my complaint seriously I spoke to my union rep. I decided against making a formal complaint and starting the official Grievance Procedure but the union still contacted HR to put my case and talks took place between HR, Me , Union and manager involved and while he obviously continued to dislike me he stopped his most egregious behaviour. I also had the support of my fellow employees.