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Will he ever admit his hearing is going?

(35 Posts)
nanapug Wed 09-Jan-13 11:10:02

I know I am being unreasonable, but my OH is driving me mad because I am having to repeat EVERYTHING. He will not admit he has some hearing loss and I must confess I am getting ratty when I have to keep repeating things, which I know is wrong but...... Has any one else had this problem? I can see no problem with saying "yes my hearing is going a bit", its to be expected after all, there is no shame in it. What will it take for him to admit it and do something about it? Rant over, thanks for listening x

kittylester Wed 09-Jan-13 11:15:55

In my experience it will take about five years nanapug and, in the meantime, stop muttering. grin

Anne58 Wed 09-Jan-13 11:16:10

Actually, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! It would drive me batty. Mr P has the habit (thankfully not too often) of saying something to me as he is walking out of the room, so I end up sort of shouting "Pardon?" .

I think he's just showing off that he can walk and talk at the same time.

Ana Wed 09-Jan-13 11:20:09

I have that problem with my DH, nanapug, and of course it's not that his hearing is going, it's because I 'mumble'!

glassortwo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:21:16

nanapug my DH is the same, watching the TV is a nightmare I have now got to the point of repeating something twice then refusing to do it again, in which time you have missed the whole plot... might as well give up.

My DH works in an office full of young girls and how he manages with all that is going on around him to hear anything is beyond me... but according to him there is nothing wrong with his hearing.

ayse Wed 09-Jan-13 11:33:43

My OH knew he had a problem with his hearing but refused to do anything about it - he said he had already tried hearing aids! I got so cross with the TV being very loud and him mis-hearing everything I said. Finally I told him that it wasn't fair on everyone else (including me) to have to repeat everything. Eventually he went to the docs and was refered to the hospital and after a while his hearing aid was ready. They suggested he had two because of his difficulties. Finally he is able to hear much better, the TV is at normal volume and he can hear what I say. He doesn't wear them all the time as he finds the outside noise in town quite uncomfortable. Still, that's Ok by me as life has now returned to 'normal'.
My sympathies to anyone whose OH refuses to take some positive steps. Life has improved for both of us so much and no more arguements about what has and hasn't been said.

Ana Wed 09-Jan-13 11:38:06

We have disagreements about what has and hasn't been said as well, ayse, but that's probably because both our memories are not what they were! grin

Mishap Wed 09-Jan-13 11:38:27

It works the other way too nanpug - my OH has Parkinsons and it makes him unable to speak at a normal volume - I spend a lot of time saying pardon! To start with he blamed it on my hearing - which has been tested as normal (something about me works!! - hooray!).

When we were speaking to the PD nurse about this she laughed and said "By definition, all partners of people with PD are going deaf!"

kittylester Wed 09-Jan-13 12:03:39

I should have said that the treatment DH had from the NHS was fantastic and normal service has been resumed. Only problem is that the batteries run out quickly. They are theoretically free, but I think the NHS makes the person who gives them out buy them from his wages, he is so mean with them. Added to which, the centre is 15 miles away, so DH buys them.

numberplease Wed 09-Jan-13 16:05:19

My husband has had hearing problems for a few years now, every time we say anything to him, we get "Eh?" or "What?" and it drives us nuts, particularly late at night when the TV is too loud, but he says it`s just right! A couple of years ago, he sent off for a couple of hearing aids from a newspaper ad, and they worked brilliantly, but he didn`t wear it for long, said he didn`t want to wear the batteries out, so he wears us out instead!!

kittylester Wed 09-Jan-13 16:07:43

Don't they cost a lot, number. DH's were free on the NHS.

harrigran Wed 09-Jan-13 16:25:54

Been there, got the T shirt. I am a mutterer who says all important things while his back is turned or he is upstairs.

annodomini Wed 09-Jan-13 16:33:29

My BiL was losing hearing in one ear and when he had a check up was sent for a scan which showed that he had an acoustic neuroma - a benign tumour which, if it had been allowed to grow, would have invaded the brain stem with fatal consequences. Neuro surgery saved him. So, there's no harm in having a hearing check and it could be a life-saver.

annodomini Wed 09-Jan-13 16:36:03

BTW, if your OH is becoming hard of hearing you will find that David Lodge's book, 'Deaf Sentence' rings a lot of bells and you just might leave it around for him to pick up... wink

numberplease Wed 09-Jan-13 17:02:14

He`d never pick it up Anno, he`s never read a book in his life!

Elegran Wed 09-Jan-13 17:36:57

Get a tape recorder, turn it on while his back is turned and say in a reasonable voice "would you like one of these chocolates" or something similar. If/when he does not hear, repeat it a little louder and so on until you are shouting and he turns round to say "yes please" and takes one. Then play it back to his front, pointing out each repeat.

Chances are he will accuse you of mumbling six times before you spoke clearly enough though ......

cheelu Wed 09-Jan-13 17:52:57

nanapug if you remind him that it is not just older people that have hearing problems, he may be a bit more willing to get it sorted...

gracesmum Wed 09-Jan-13 19:56:04

Sorry, nanapug could you speak up please and not mumble (like wot I do) Finally got DH to the hearing tests, the hearing aid - hurrah! and he said he had not realised how he had stopped hearing birdsong! Was all OK? NO because after his shower, he needs to let the "ear dry out" so he carries the b***dy thing aroung in its box until we get to wherever he is going and he "remembers" to put it in. In the evenings, the TV is turned down so low I can hardly hear it. Do I need to have my hearing tested?
PS he may be better at hearing, but is still not a lot better at listening!

Gina123 Wed 09-Jan-13 21:58:11

As I person who has had a progressive hearing loss from the age of 11 and worn a hearing aid since I was 17 and now 65 I think most of you should get some "Deaf Awareness". The only person who seemed to have any is anodomini.

york46 Wed 09-Jan-13 22:07:56

My husband happily accepted the need for glasses and a dental plate, but when I suggested that perhaps he needed a hearing assessment he seemed to take it as a personal insult and was quite huffy about it. Apparently I mutter!!!!!!!

Elegran Wed 09-Jan-13 22:15:01

Gina We are not unsympathetic about the hearing loss - we all find various faculties deteriorating as we get older - we just can't help making some joky remarks to go with it.

Your other thread about the social difficulties of deafness has some more serious posts.

nanaej Wed 09-Jan-13 22:20:12

People are always far more empathetic to people who begin to lose their sight than their hearing yet both disabilities are difficult to come to terms with.

I have had tinnitus for so long I cannot remember when it began. It does impair hearing and I think I am also losing the ability to hear some sounds.

In a group, in a pub /restaurant I have to concentrate very hard to follow a conversation. At a recent wedding with music as well as chat I was lost..sometimes people think I am not well or just anti-social because I cannot join in all the gossip!

I think that a hearing aid in those social situations may not help..but when it gets very tricky I will go to GP for advice!

Hunt Wed 09-Jan-13 23:47:45

My OH is very deaf in both ears. His hearing aids are a mini miracle he can turn them up ,down or off and join into the loop systems where they are available. He has a gadget that picks up the sound from the television and pipes it straight into his ear so I can have the television sound to suit me. He also has a gadget which he can put on the table when having a meal out with friends which just picks up the sound nearby and not the hubbub. These things are invented to make all our lives easier we are foolish and ungrateful to the inventors if we do not take advantage of them,IMHO. Although some of the gadgets he has had to pay for the marvellous NHS aids are free. My father was profoundly deaf from the age of 9 as a result of measles. I still vividly remember the day he got his quite primitive hearing aid. It revolutionised all of our lives. I feel quite strongly about hearing aids, my friend has two which live in a drawer as she refuses to wear them. What a waste-at £1,000 pounds a go!

Granny23 Thu 10-Jan-13 00:27:10

If people will not wear hearing aids or insist on having invisible ones then they will not benefit from kind people who on noticing the hearing aid make a special effort to face the deaf person and speak clearly.

kittylester Thu 10-Jan-13 07:28:36

Hi Gina, I think most of us are poking gentle fun at our DHs , not the condition, it's a habit we have. smile

I haven't seen you post before so, if you are new, welcome. If I've missed your previous posts I apologise.