Am I Invisible?

Mmmm....Understand the potential difficulties posed by back pack wearers-but also reasons why someone might wear one!
I have met loads of people who have bad shoulders/arms,and the backpack takes the strain.
Others need a stick,and bags are awkward.
Or they cant carry much bagwise,but can carry more with a backpack.
Or they have to shop on foot,and can carry more with a back pack as well.
Also,a backpack means you can take off/put on clothes,when you are out,saves lugging coats,etc in your shopping bags!
Personally,I need two sticks,so shopping bags are,well,out!
I try my best to be careful,but just as with non-backpacking people,accidents can happen

juneh no he definitely doesn't have any signs of dementia. A keen sailor, active in Rotary and recently remarried - just a man!

When my first husband died nearly 11 years ago people used to tell me that I was angry. I angrilly told them that I was not. In retrospect I can see that maybe I was getting impatient and irritable with people who seemed to forget what I was going through. My expectations of people were high but people soon forget because they have stuff going on in thier own lives, this guy you met might be slipping into dementia, sometimes I think men tend to be less aware of what is going on around them especially the older generation.
I would tell people off at the drop of a hat because they had forgotten the most important thing about me which was I had lost my beloved husband.
I remember walking around the supermarket shortly after he died and kept thinking these people have no idea what I am going through. Now I look around the supermarket and think I have no idea what these people are feeling or thinking.
How sad we all are as we slowly sink into a thoughtless and selfish society.

Mishap my DH got so fed up with being mrs W that once when someone was roll calling they said Dr W, I answered here
Mrs W --- stoney silence!

greatnan I can relate to that as well when abroad people would call into the bar and ask to speak to the "heffa" (what a title) and just go straight to mr g "heffa" is the Spanish for boss and he had great pleasure in calling across the restaurant that the "heffa" was needed.
So glad you put this man right back in his boxGally do they do this because they are with their wives and think that their wives may think of you as a threat if they remember your name,some men are so stupid at times.

Margaret - I would have spoken to them both very sharply, reminding them that I had made the complaint.
I am not sure that size has anything to do with it - my daughter is about 5' 2" but she has a very strong personality and even when she is accompanied by her 6' 6" tall husband I am sure she is never overlooked.
When I was Head of the Wirral Remedial Service, in the 1970s, I was sometimes asked by salesmen if they could speak to 'the boss'. I quite enjoyed embarrassing them.

Try being married to the local GP in a rural community - "Oh, are you Dr **'s wife?" Sigh.

But then I got out there conducting concerts etc and sometimes people would ask him if he was my wife - result!

That's just how I feel. That and the fact that, if I go out one day with an article of clothing missing or forget to paint on one of my eyes [it's going to happen at some point] no one will notice.

I've been invisible since I was on my 50s. I was once completely ignored while the headmaster and the caretaker discussed the lack of heatingand a broken window in my classroom. I was the one who had made the complaint and foolishly expected to have my opinion asked.
Now I have got used to it. I can go the garden centre with my hair a real mess knowing no one will notice. As long as DH still sees me.

I don't think it's to do with women being invisible, more to do with many men being inept at remembering names and faces.
DH quite often will ring up one of his mates, wait till the phone starts ringing and then ask me in a panicked tone, 'What's so-and -so's wife called?' in case it is she who answers the phone.
I'm sure he won't forget you now Gally

Quite right too, gally. I'd feel the same way. Haven't had to assert myself in that way so far though. Somehow, I seem to be visible when I want to be .

I just think men are a totally different species to we women - think differently, react differently etcetera..... My reaction yesterday was in total frustration to a not unintelligent man who just didn't concentrate or use his brain appropriately and needed a sharp reminder! He'd better b.....y remember me next time or heaven knows what I might do

Mine was not a generalisation..it was my experience and I was in my 20's /30's at the time which was the 70s /80s!! I do not think I was that dull!

Hopefully far fewer men behave in that arrogant and macho way now and women in the UK are less 'invisible' than they were in the past. I have certainly learned to be more assertive and so tend not to be treated as invisible but I do think some people , used to being overlooked, find it harder to be assertive.

We all need to be treated respectfully.and sometimes that needs a gally riposte! Well said that woman!

I don't agree with these generalisations about women becoming invisible.

Sorry Gally women of a certain age are 'invisible' to men.This was sort of discussed on another thread a few months ago. I'd remembered an article in the Sunday Times in the 1970's about the world's perception of women. Women in their teens and twenties are visible to everyone. Slight fading to men when they get to their 30's, really beginning to fade to men in their 40's,becoming visible to women only in their 50's and invisible to all from 60plus. I am paraphrasing here but this was the gist of the article. Had you been in your late 20's early 30's he may well have remembered you - but now? Depressing isn't it? BTW men start to fade in their 50's and become fairly invisible in their 60's - unless you are Harrison Ford et al.
york46 I hate backpacks unless they are used for the purpose of hiking etc. The amount of times a wearer has knocked me flying due to them whipping around with said backpack in tow. Whilst waiting for a parade to pass, a backpack holder had his large pack loaded with camera equipment including a tripod sticking out. He was quite annoyed when we asked him to take the pack off as several times the tripod had bashed into us, once narrowly missing my friend's eyes.

Oh york46 don't get me started on backpacks!! Don't their owners realise that they take up the space of two people? Like you I get them in the face and have only occasionally been brave enough to tap a person on the shoulder and point this out - cue amazed expression, but apology? Don't be silly!

Good for you Gally Like gracesmum I would endeavour never to remember his name in future.
In Cumbria (our other home) the vicar insists on calling me Irene every time I see him, I tell him I am harri but he won't have any of it. I wonder what Irene did that sticks in his mind ?

Oh Gally well done, but I so know how you feel I posted the following a few months ago and resolved then to either wear brighter lippy or tuck my dress into my knickers so that people would notice me

"Who needs an Invisibility Cape? I am invisible, I have discovered.
I was recently "introduced "by a friend to a man I have met on several occasions, whose wife I am quite friendly with who actually sat beside us at the theatre in the autumn and as he squeezed my hand and looked deep into my eyes, he said "No, I don't think we've met."
Later that day I did some shopping and had doors left to slam in my face, had to weave and duck and dive to avoid being mown down by gits on their mobiles, and was completely ignored by the assistant in Boots who served the man behind me in the queue.
Is it an age thing? Do little old ladies simpy fade away? Is it me?"

I rather fear I can answer my own question "Is it us?" - "Yes!" but well done you for putting the prat in his place. I hope you managed to forget his name and call him Wally/Cecil/Fred anything butwhatever it was !!

One of the reasons I stopped using my married name was because I worked in the same large organisation as DH. Surname is unusual so people remember it and I got so fed up of people saying , 'Oh are you X's wife?'

I just wanted to shout ' You know what I do and where I work..you have met me before.. no I'm not his wife he is my husband!' Instead a changed my name!

Hmmmmm you got me there glass meant to say prebbs ! And you are right they are !

No R in plebs!

Got it in one gillybob

Or plebs perhaps?

prunes ? glass

Good for you Gally some men can be such pr* * * s sometimes.