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Am I Invisible?

(34 Posts)
Gally Sat 12-Jan-13 13:50:35

Just returned from a social occasion, which is hard enough these days now I am on my own, where I was, yet again approached by the male half of a couple who said for about the 5th time in as many months, 'I am Ian, Have we met before?' I'm afraid I gave it to him real and proper. 'Yes we have met on numerous occasions and you knew my late husband very well at Rotary and you know full we'll my name is Gally'. Oh dear, do you think I over did it? He did come over and say 'goodbye Gally' when they left wink

Mishap Sat 12-Jan-13 13:54:03

Oh dear - how frustrating for you. Is this chap losing his memory?

I am quite sure that you are not invisible - and very well done you for getting out and about when it must feel a big challenge.

Nonu Sat 12-Jan-13 13:56:33

Good for you Gally !


Marelli Sat 12-Jan-13 14:04:07

Well done Gally - stupid man. He'll certainly know you the next time! wink

Nanado Sat 12-Jan-13 14:36:14

I hope you didn't kick his blind dog on the way out? hmm

Bags Sat 12-Jan-13 18:09:15

Well done, gally. flowers

JAB Sat 12-Jan-13 19:17:59

Oh Gally well done, I wish I was as brave as you, luckily I'm not in your position of being alone.The problem I have is being short just 5'1'' (very important that 1'') and people just don't seem to see me when we are walking in the town or in a crowd (DH is 6'2'') the original odd couple.Everyone walks in to me, I'm convinced I'm invisible,and sometimes it really hurts, every so often I'm afraid I'll be rather rude and shout at people to open their eyes. Think I'll have to get a bobble hat where the bobble lights up, perhaps people would see me then.

yogagran Sat 12-Jan-13 20:10:44

Well done Gally and, no, I don't think you overdid it. I just wish that I was as outspoken as you. I would probably have muttered something and gone away feeling hurt and invisible

york46 Sat 12-Jan-13 20:50:15

JAB - I'm in the same boat at 5 foot 2 inches and I sometimes too feel I am invisible. Recently in a shop, a tall man with a huge rucksack on his back (why do people go into crowded shops with big rucksacks dangling off their backs!) twice nearly swept me off my feet as he turned round and his rucksack caught me on the head - he just didn't see me!

glassortwo Sat 12-Jan-13 21:13:12

Good for you Gally some men can be such pr* * * s sometimes.

gillybob Sat 12-Jan-13 21:18:05

prunes ? glass

gillybob Sat 12-Jan-13 21:18:48

Or plebs perhaps?

glassortwo Sat 12-Jan-13 21:20:18

Got it in one grin gillybob

glassortwo Sat 12-Jan-13 21:20:52

No R in plebs!

gillybob Sat 12-Jan-13 21:25:37

Hmmmmm you got me there glass meant to say prebbs ! And you are right they are !

nanaej Sat 12-Jan-13 21:54:48

One of the reasons I stopped using my married name was because I worked in the same large organisation as DH. Surname is unusual so people remember it and I got so fed up of people saying , 'Oh are you X's wife?'

I just wanted to shout ' You know what I do and where I have met me before.. no I'm not his wife he is my husband!' Instead a changed my name!

gracesmum Sat 12-Jan-13 22:20:19

Oh Gally well done, but I so know how you feel I posted the following a few months ago and resolved then to either wear brighter lippy or tuck my dress into my knickers so that people would notice me grin

"Who needs an Invisibility Cape? I am invisible, I have discovered.
I was recently "introduced "by a friend to a man I have met on several occasions, whose wife I am quite friendly with who actually sat beside us at the theatre in the autumn and as he squeezed my hand and looked deep into my eyes, he said "No, I don't think we've met."
Later that day I did some shopping and had doors left to slam in my face, had to weave and duck and dive to avoid being mown down by gits on their mobiles, and was completely ignored by the assistant in Boots who served the man behind me in the queue.
Is it an age thing? Do little old ladies simpy fade away? Is it me?"

I rather fear I can answer my own question "Is it us?" - "Yes!" angry but well done you for putting the prat in his place. I hope you managed to forget his name and call him Wally/Cecil/Fred anything butwhatever it was !!

harrigran Sat 12-Jan-13 22:50:35

Good for you Gally Like gracesmum I would endeavour never to remember his name in future.
In Cumbria (our other home) the vicar insists on calling me Irene every time I see him, I tell him I am harri but he won't have any of it. I wonder what Irene did that sticks in his mind ?

gracesmum Sun 13-Jan-13 12:05:30

Oh york46 don't get me started on backpacks!! Don't their owners realise that they take up the space of two people? Like you I get them in the face and have only occasionally been brave enough to tap a person on the shoulder and point this out - cue amazed expression, but apology? Don't be silly!

dorsetpennt Sun 13-Jan-13 12:42:42

Sorry Gally women of a certain age are 'invisible' to men.This was sort of discussed on another thread a few months ago. I'd remembered an article in the Sunday Times in the 1970's about the world's perception of women. Women in their teens and twenties are visible to everyone. Slight fading to men when they get to their 30's, really beginning to fade to men in their 40's,becoming visible to women only in their 50's and invisible to all from 60plus. I am paraphrasing here but this was the gist of the article. Had you been in your late 20's early 30's he may well have remembered you - but now? Depressing isn't it? BTW men start to fade in their 50's and become fairly invisible in their 60's - unless you are Harrison Ford et al.
york46 I hate backpacks unless they are used for the purpose of hiking etc. The amount of times a wearer has knocked me flying due to them whipping around with said backpack in tow. Whilst waiting for a parade to pass, a backpack holder had his large pack loaded with camera equipment including a tripod sticking out. He was quite annoyed when we asked him to take the pack off as several times the tripod had bashed into us, once narrowly missing my friend's eyes.

Bags Sun 13-Jan-13 13:05:53

I don't agree with these generalisations about women becoming invisible.

nanaej Sun 13-Jan-13 13:33:53

Mine was not a was my experience and I was in my 20's /30's at the time which was the 70s /80s!! I do not think I was that dull!

Hopefully far fewer men behave in that arrogant and macho way now and women in the UK are less 'invisible' than they were in the past. I have certainly learned to be more assertive and so tend not to be treated as invisible but I do think some people , used to being overlooked, find it harder to be assertive.

We all need to be treated respectfully.and sometimes that needs a gally riposte! Well said that woman!

Gally Sun 13-Jan-13 13:44:22

I just think men are a totally different species to we women - think differently, react differently etcetera..... My reaction yesterday was in total frustration to a not unintelligent man who just didn't concentrate or use his brain appropriately and needed a sharp reminder! He'd better b.....y remember me next time or heaven knows what I might do grin

Bags Sun 13-Jan-13 14:22:04

Quite right too, gally. I'd feel the same way. Haven't had to assert myself in that way so far though. Somehow, I seem to be visible when I want to be wink.

janeainsworth Sun 13-Jan-13 14:47:00

I don't think it's to do with women being invisible, more to do with many men being inept at remembering names and faces.
DH quite often will ring up one of his mates, wait till the phone starts ringing and then ask me in a panicked tone, 'What's so-and -so's wife called?' in case it is she who answers the phone.
I'm sure he won't forget you now Gally smile